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I'm not sure he's even going to show up. *update* he's not showing up *11/19 update

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 5:25 AM
  • 35 Replies
1 mom liked this
I have child support court this AM.

The kids' dad has had a warrant out for his arrest. The court date today is unrelated to what he has a warrant out for.

Would they search his name to find out he has a warrant out? Do you think he'll be arrested there? If he doesn't show, and they ask me why, should I tell them it's probably because he has a warrant out for his arrest?

At the last hearing he was told he has to be looking for work. He had to have 10 signatures a week proving he was looking for work.

Blegh. I hate court.




*update*

He just texted me and said he won't show up and asked me not to mention that he had a warrant. *smh* he told me he wants me to call and reschedule for him. I will not be doing that.




11/19 update

He told me he wasn't showing up because he had a job. He later told his sister he wasn't showing up because he was scared of the warrant. Either way, they proceeded with the case and now he is legally obligated to financially support his kids.

I doubt I'll ever see a dime.

He's a friggin dumbass for missing court. I'm not sure if they'll issue another warrant for failure to appear.

Part of me feels awful that he's slowly destroyed his own life. I won't go into specifics but he's made extremely poor decisions and continues to make them. He wants to be bailed out of jail for some unknown reason. I don't understand why, because he's getting locked up no matter what. If he does save up that money, and gets bailed out, it won't matter because he'll end up in jail anyways. Blegh. This situation sucks.
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by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 5:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mandiii04
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 5:30 AM
If he does show up, mention his warrant. if he doesn't, tell them it's because of it.

My ex has shown up to ONE of the 4 show cause hearings. It's bullshit because they put out a warrant, then he'll pay SOME money... Then *POOF* his warrant vanishes. Then he stops paying all over again...

Blah
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epoh
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 5:46 AM
I don't want to bring him down if he does show up. He's in a bad bad way, extremely depressed. He's done it all to himself. I sort of pity him, but I have to remind myself that he had everything, has been given everything, time and time again. He's taken it all for granted and shit on the people who were there for him. Now he has nothing and no one and I think he's getting close to hitting rock bottom.

I really hope jail will help him. They have resources to help him get his ass on the right track.


Quoting Mandiii04:

If he does show up, mention his warrant. if he doesn't, tell them it's because of it.



My ex has shown up to ONE of the 4 show cause hearings. It's bullshit because they put out a warrant, then he'll pay SOME money... Then *POOF* his warrant vanishes. Then he stops paying all over again...



Blah
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BrownEyedGirl86
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2011 at 5:50 AM
Yea they probably will arrest him. Honestly it probably depends on the mood of the judge.
If I was you i wouldn't get involved. If they ask you which I don't see why they would, but I'd just tell them you arent sure.

Best of luck. I don't think that he has to be there in order for them to set the order especially if this isn't the first court date he's missed.
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Mandiii04
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 5:53 AM
If you think jail would straighten him out then it is worth mentioning if he shows up. You can bring a prewritten note with you to hand to your rep when you go. Tell you have a question about something on a latter you received, tell her it's highlighted. Have it say that he has a warrant for his arrest and that if she can't do anything about it to say she is unsure of the answer, or if she can do something have her excuse herself or something.

Then he'd never know it was you.


Unless of course he doesn't show up. Then you can mention it, but bench warrants don't mean much unless he gets pulled over or something. They won't go looking for him.
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Mandiii04
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 5:54 AM
Wow.... You can totally tell I haven't slept in 48 hours by all of my typos lol.
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epoh
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 6:01 AM
This is only the third court date. He showed up 2 hrs late for the last one but hasn't missed one yet.

I think it's pointless, honestly. When I filed he wasn't employed and the case worker told me they couldn't get child support out of someone who wasn't working. It took a year for them to find him (he kept moving) and in that time, he had, and lost, two jobs. He can't keep work because he doesn't bother to wake up when he's supposed to. That's the same reason he only comes to visit his kids once or twice a month.


Quoting BrownEyedGirl86:

Yea they probably will arrest him. Honestly it probably depends on the mood of the judge.

If I was you i wouldn't get involved. If they ask you which I don't see why they would, but I'd just tell them you arent sure.



Best of luck. I don't think that he has to be there in order for them to set the order especially if this isn't the first court date he's missed.
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BrownEyedGirl86
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2011 at 6:03 AM
Well w his history they may just do the hearing without him to in a way prove a point.
But that's ridiculous. Sounds like he needs to grow up.
Best of luck to you today!!


Quoting epoh:

This is only the third court date. He showed up 2 hrs late for the last one but hasn't missed one yet.



I think it's pointless, honestly. When I filed he wasn't employed and the case worker told me they couldn't get child support out of someone who wasn't working. It took a year for them to find him (he kept moving) and in that time, he had, and lost, two jobs. He can't keep work because he doesn't bother to wake up when he's supposed to. That's the same reason he only comes to visit his kids once or twice a month.




Quoting BrownEyedGirl86:

Yea they probably will arrest him. Honestly it probably depends on the mood of the judge.


If I was you i wouldn't get involved. If they ask you which I don't see why they would, but I'd just tell them you arent sure.





Best of luck. I don't think that he has to be there in order for them to set the order especially if this isn't the first court date he's missed.
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epoh
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 6:04 AM
We have separate meetings with the case worker before the judge even sees us so I could mention it then. He says he's saving up so he can bail himself out, which makes no sense to me. He KNOWS he's going to be locked up for a while so why not consider it time served and spend your money on something else? Like, I dunno, commissary for jail?

He's a dumbass.

Anyways. Go get some sleep!


Quoting Mandiii04:

If you think jail would straighten him out then it is worth mentioning if he shows up. You can bring a prewritten note with you to hand to your rep when you go. Tell you have a question about something on a latter you received, tell her it's highlighted. Have it say that he has a warrant for his arrest and that if she can't do anything about it to say she is unsure of the answer, or if she can do something have her excuse herself or something.



Then he'd never know it was you.





Unless of course he doesn't show up. Then you can mention it, but bench warrants don't mean much unless he gets pulled over or something. They won't go looking for him.
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mommamichi11
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 6:04 AM
I'm sorry hun. This is a long process I'm going through too. Actually you can get child support if he is unemployed. My best friends baby daddy pays her $100 every two weeks he hasn't had a job in two years.
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epoh
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 6:07 AM
The whole situation is so screwed up. I hate feeling like I'm wasting my time. He was doing good, for a while. Now? Not so much. It's actually kind of a good thing because he was seeing the kids weekly and stopped last month. Now it's inconsistent again. When he does go to jail I really hope DD won't even notice because he hasnt been around as much. She's stopped asking to see him. :(

Quoting BrownEyedGirl86:

Well w his history they may just do the hearing without him to in a way prove a point.

But that's ridiculous. Sounds like he needs to grow up.

Best of luck to you today!!




Quoting epoh:

This is only the third court date. He showed up 2 hrs late for the last one but hasn't missed one yet.





I think it's pointless, honestly. When I filed he wasn't employed and the case worker told me they couldn't get child support out of someone who wasn't working. It took a year for them to find him (he kept moving) and in that time, he had, and lost, two jobs. He can't keep work because he doesn't bother to wake up when he's supposed to. That's the same reason he only comes to visit his kids once or twice a month.






Quoting BrownEyedGirl86:

Yea they probably will arrest him. Honestly it probably depends on the mood of the judge.



If I was you i wouldn't get involved. If they ask you which I don't see why they would, but I'd just tell them you arent sure.







Best of luck. I don't think that he has to be there in order for them to set the order especially if this isn't the first court date he's missed.
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