Giving Toddlers Espressos and Mountain Dew! Now with PICS!
Thanksgiving was lovely. HouseOfFeast, true to her name, created a beautiful meal at my Mum's home.
While she worked, she would take a break here and there to prop her feet up (she is pregnant and her ankles were swelling) and then pop right back into the kitchen to have at it again.
After she had started the pies, her father made some espressos for us to enjoy and came around the corner, bumping into me and Grand Wendy. Wendy was making me give her pony rides, so I was on all fours yelling, "Nei....ei...gh! I'm a PONY!" for her. He swooped down and plucked Grand Wendy from my back saying, "Does Grampa's girl want a treat? Who wants a treat? Do you want one?". I assumed that he had a bit of hot cocoa or chocolate milk in the mug he slipped into her hands.
"EEEEEeeeem!" shouted Grand Wendy. Eem is her word for ice cream or whipped cream, and there was plenty of that in her little mug. She scooped out handfuls of it and then finally set to sipping. "Pbtpbtpbtbbbb!" she spit it all back out and glared at her beloved Grampa, "Eeeeew." she commented and thrust the mug at me.
"But you love chocolate." I protested, lifting the mug. That's when I caught the unmistakable scent of roasted coffee beans. "Did you just give the baby an espresso?!" I blurted.
From the other room, HouseOfFeast's sharp ears caught the words and she began struggling to extricate herself from the couch and the ottoman, "Get it away from her! AAAAAAaaaa! BAD Daddy! BAD!!!" she yelled helplessly. I went to explain to her that the baby had only taken one sip and spit it back out when I heard squeals of unadulterated joy bursting from the kitchen.
"SIPPY! SIPPY! SIPPY!" shouted a very jubilant Wendy. She emerged from the dining room clutching a can of Mountain Dew!
Then she became a blur moving at super sonic speed. "SIPPY! OM NOM NOM!!!". Every few steps she froze and took another gulp, then took off laughing at her mother, who was still trying to stand from the couch.
"NOOOOOOooooooo!" cried HouseOfFeast in dismay, "Please God...Nooooooo!". "Let me get my camera." I said reasonably, "The damage is done.".
"Stop her!" yelled HouseOfFeast, but the Grandparents were too busy laughing to stop her. That child drained every last sip from her forbidden Mountain Dew (12 whole ounces!),
and we were 'punished' by being sent to run it out of the baby's system at the park.
When the sugar crash came thirty minutes after coming back from the park, Grand Wendy snuggled down in my lap and tried to stay awake, but ended up sinking down headfirst into my lap, like a ragdoll.
"I told you." I said to HouseOfFeast, "A bit of soda or candy, and when the sugar crash comes, it's instant naptime!".
"Yeah...no, Mummie. Just no. I will NOT be giving the baby Mountain Dew before bedtime." said my sensible girl as she snapped pictures of the baby on my lap.
"Grampa will." said her father, "It's good for her. Puts hair on her chest.".