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Worried about my sons development.

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:37 AM
  • 13 Replies
He is 3 today. Literally, today is his third birthday. When I ask him how old he is he holds up one finger. He knows a few of his colors but often gets most of them confused. He can count when he wants to. He knows a few shapes. He didn't know any letters. He knows the alphabet only by memorizing the song. Lately I have been trying to make him dress him self. But he usually gets frustrated and freaks out. He freaks out about a lot of things actually. I've been trying to potty train him for months but he just isn't getting it. I don't think he even recognizes the sensation yet.

I don't know where he should be when it comes to these things. My daughter was so self sufficient by the time she was three. She knew all letters, numbers, colors, shapes. She could count past ten in english and spanish. She spoke clearly. Was fully potty trained. Dressed herself. Drank out of cups without lids or straws. (DS can drink out of a regular cup but he ALWAYS spills.) She would tell me when something was wrong where as he will just cry and sometimes mumble. He still tries to use baby words. (I never used baby words with either of them.) Like "pick me uppy" and "more milky" and he says gaga. Drives me nuts.

I'm having another baby in april. I thought maybe he's just tring to remain the baby because he's jealous theres going to be another one. But it isn't like he digressing. He just isn't progressing.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sherry132
by Ruby Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:42 AM
1 mom liked this

 Three year old boys are notorious for being behind girls. The baby could be causing some issues but I doubt he really even understands the baby yet.

Realistically, every child is different. DD trained by 14 months. DS didn't until he was almost 4. DD was reading by the time she went to kindergarten, DS didn't read until 3rd grade. Yet now they are both straight A B students. DS still has auditory processing delay but he's almost caught up. Every child is different. As such, you should only worry if he starts regressing or if he starts degressing. You can also talk about the issues with your pedi. GL.

dababiesdreams
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:44 AM
Talk to your pediatrician. Definitely.
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opal10161973
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:45 AM
Boys don't usually catch up to girls until they are seven to nine years old. Not fully anyway. They are less verbal as well. Their fine motor skills are also somewhat behind. So, holding a cup is more difficult. Don't worry, it appears that he will be fine, unless you notice a withdrawal from people socially, I wouldn't worry just yet. Ask his Dr, if you are truly concerned. I have two boys and one girl, and they are vastly different.
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Sunivondea
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:47 AM
I brought it up. But I feel like he kind of wrote me off. He thinks I worry about too much little shit and I'm a hypochondriac.

Quoting dababiesdreams:

Talk to your pediatrician. Definitely.

Sanctimommy
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:49 AM

He'll be fine. Step-Diva knew no letters or numbers until she reached four years of age. She actively resisted being read to, cried when asked to play counting games and threw such tantrums, no one wanted to teach her anything. I had resigned myself to her growing up without learning a darn thing.

Then we signed her up for preschool. BAM! Instant genius. She's seven now and reads above her grade level, can calculate her sums into the tens place and has a general grasp of percentages, multiples, and very basic algebra (A + A = 6, find A kind of algebra, nothing fancy).

I credit World of Warcraft, too, though, because she really was motivated by in-game goals such as auctioning items for profit, figuring out how many more levels she needed for a mount, reading quests and comprehending maps to finish them, etc.

Let him progress at a rate he is comfortable with and he will blossom.

yo_ho
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:51 AM

Mention it to the ped when you go in for his 3 yr check up. You can also look up for early intervention evals through the state.

Honestly though, I wonder if it's a 3 yr thing. My ODS was so independant, eager to learn, loves languages, wanted to be super independant. My now 3.5 yr old, totally opposite! Tries to talk baby talk - but I won't let him. Wants me to carry him, says he can't dress himself, messes around when I work on his letters with him. Just the polar opposite of his brother, but they are polar opposites in everything! When I noticed DS wasn't progressing on his speech, and falling a ton, I pushed to have his hearing tested. He failed. Got tubes and it's a whole new kid. I had to laugh at the finger thing, he holds up three fingers and says he's 4. Turkey!

Sunivondea
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:54 AM
I understand that boys are usually behind girls. And I was told my DD was fairly advanced for her age. I just want to know hes on the right track.
I don't know what the signs are for autism or adhd or anything like that. :\
But thats something I'm nervous about bringing up to the doc.


Is adhd genetic?

Kaybean
by Kayleen on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:54 AM
Every child is different. How your dd was at that age is irrelevant, because she's not him. 3 is a normal age for boys to potty train. My youngest son didn't know his colors very well at that she either, and he knows them all perfectly now at 4.5.
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yo_ho
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:55 AM

Push back, seriously. I work with my ped and he tried to tell me the same thing, don't worry, he's fine. I finally said there were several things I was just worried about and would feel better if I could get his hearing tested (my big concern). He finally caved and gave me the referal. The shock in his face when I called to tell him the results is where I thought he fell off his chair. "Really, seriously, wow, I'm shocked. Absolutely I'll do what they need for  you to get him better". Oh my gosh, I'm so glad he got tubes. I know way too many kids where the peds made the parents wait for tubes and they are having so many issues with speech and social issues due to hearing problems (not saying that's what your son has, just my personal experience.)

Quoting Sunivondea:

I brought it up. But I feel like he kind of wrote me off. He thinks I worry about too much little shit and I'm a hypochondriac.

Quoting dababiesdreams:

Talk to your pediatrician. Definitely.


TigressLily
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:58 AM

My nephew was a very fast learner. He was completely potty trained just before 2 years old, and he knew his colors, shapes, alphabet, numbers, how to dress himself and give himself a bath by the age of 3.5 yrs old. He also knew some colors and all numbers in spanish, and a few other words in spanish {I taught him a little bit because he has a little bit of mexican in him and he loves dora and diego}. His sister was just as advanced as him if not a little more. Their cousin however, was much slower. There was a reason for that though, his mom did drugs while she was pregnant with him. My DH's ex's son is 5 and he is very smart but he doesn't seem to be like a kid I have helped raise, and he still needs/has his binky/paci. I've only helped raise 1 girl, but I've helped raise 2 boys, and all 3 were very intelligent. The others that I have babysit for weren't really that understanding of things. A friend of mine had an autistic boy, and he acted a little the way you describe your son, just 100x worse from what I heard in the background on phone conversations {never got to meet him}. Her other two boys seemed just fine even though her 2 year old couldn't really talk. The 4 year old boy slurred his words some but he seemed to know how to do things on his own for the most part. Her autistic boy was 6 at the time that I was able to meet the other 2 boys.

I am just explaining a few things to show how different kids can be. Sometimes there are deeper reasons that can be blamed on the parent, sometimes something is a learning disability, sometimes it's just the kid. I would definitely have him checked out for learning disabilities to target it as early as possible, but just keep working with him and make sure you stay calm and don't get frustrated at small things even if he does, so he can see that you stay calm so he should too. As long as you can target how to teach him so that he stops freaking out and so he might actually listen etc., and keep working at that, he will be fine. Every kid learns differently, it's our job as the parent{s} to figure out how they learn and work with what we have.

I am a visual learner. If someone explains something to me without me seeing it directly, I am completely confused {I'm 21, and I've been like this for as long as I can remember}. If you show me how to do something, though, I've got it instantly for the most part and can redo it or will definitely understand it etc. Try figuring out if your son is a verbal or visual learner and see if you can do more activities that involve his abilities.


Good luck, mama! =D



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