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When you hear stories about bad things happening to young children...

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:06 AM
  • 13 Replies

that were totally preventable?  What do you think?  Do you consider it an accident or should the parent's be to blame because they didn't heed the warnings?


For example:

Kids that get injured and killed because they weren't properly restrained in a vehicle

Kids that have to undergo extensive dental work due to baby bottle tooth decay

Kids that get killed from blind cords or other known environmental safety issues

A baby drowns because they had access to standing water

Children hurt or killed because there are no smoke alarms in the home



There is tons of information about all of this out there and some parents just ignore it.  Why do people still call them accidents or try to make excuses for why it happened?


ETA:

I have the perfect example, which many of you have heard over and over again, of something that greatly affected my life and the life of one of my children.

It was back in the days when walkers with wheels were still around.  There was warning after warning coming out about how dangerous they were. They were allowing young children access to their world that they weren't prepared for.  There had been many deaths due to kids falling down stairs.  I did away with walkers after my first son.  

When my 2nd son came along, I vowed he would never be in a walker.  He was going to a babysitter's at 10 months old and I saw that she had a walker in her possession.  I flat out told her, "I do not ever want my baby in those things. They are dangerous. Do not use that for my son." 

Why did my son fall down stairs and land on his head onto concrete from being in a walker at 10 months old while in her care?  He is 16 years old now and still dealing with his brain injury and will deal with it the rest of his life.

Freak accident? No fucking way.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TrouserMouse
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:10 AM

BUMP!

FooLynRoo
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:12 AM

I really dig deep and try not to be judgemental and accept that - the parents were not neglectful, just sometimes you can't check all the boxes and shit happens.

But my base instinct is to shake my head and blame the parents.. even though I realize - that its very easy for a freak accident to happen no matter how careful you try to be.

deliela
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:14 AM
Horrible
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Leopard44
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:16 AM

Unrestrained in a vehicle- obviously it could have been prevented.

Dental - Not entirely sure, never heard of this.

Environmental- of course it can be prevented sometimes, but accidents do happen.

Drowning- definitely preventable.

Smoke alarms- definitely preventable to a certain point.

TrouserMouse
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:17 AM

That's the thing. I can't call them "freak" accidents.

 If you see everyday the importance of a child being properly restrained in a car seat and you decide to drive without one, that isn't a freak accident.  If you see every day that allowing a baby to have a bottle in its mouth night and day will rot its teeth and you allow it or put sugary drinks in their bottles, it isn't a freak accident.  If you have no smoke alarms in your house despite hearing how important they are over and over again, it isn't a freak accident.

Those are the types of things I really struggle with. It is hard not to judge when you know that some things are 100% preventable and the education/information is out there.

Quoting FooLynRoo:

I really dig deep and try not to be judgemental and accept that - the parents were not neglectful, just sometimes you can't check all the boxes and shit happens.

But my base instinct is to shake my head and blame the parents.. even though I realize - that its very easy for a freak accident to happen no matter how careful you try to be.


mommaponch
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:18 AM

In my head I completely blame the parents.  But, unless it's an extreme case of neglect I do not actually say it out loud or particularly to any person that it could get back to that parent.  Whether or not they have any or all blame they have already lost a child, I do not need to make that worse for them.

However, let's just say for hypothetical reasons ... child #1 died because the parents didn't care about car seat safety, then we see that they are making the exact same mistakes with child #2, yeah I might say something. 

FooLynRoo
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:22 AM

Well, without a car seat yes that is 100% parent fault - but perhaps not belted right etc I can see the best of intentions - still not equalling perfect safety conditions.

I honestly blame the bottle rot thing on just pure ignorance I knew a girl who's child had to have his teeth capped - she was just dumb all around (not being mean) she honestly thought Gatorade was okay for her kids. and not all kids with caps have them because of bottle rot, some kids just have genetic dispositions to having soft teeth and develop issues with them.

No smoke alarms I can understand, but what if - they forgot to change the battery or took the SA down because of a cooking incident the night before and forgot to put it back?

I'm not saying parents aren't as fault, I just TRY TRY to be understanding - because they really are suffering . And sometimes when its a grievous neglect - as crass and cruel as it seems I just dismiss it as survival of the fittest - I hate that i think that way because its a babys life that was lost. but maybe their parents are really too dumb to have kids, and thats natures way of ending that gene pool.

I realize its a horrible thought and I try not to think that way.

Quoting TrouserMouse:

That's the thing. I can't call them "freak" accidents.

 If you see everyday the importance of a child being properly restrained in a car seat and you decide to drive without one, that isn't a freak accident.  If you see every day that allowing a baby to have a bottle in its mouth night and day will rot its teeth and you allow it or put sugary drinks in their bottles, it isn't a freak accident.  If you have no smoke alarms in your house despite hearing how important they are over and over again, it isn't a freak accident.

Those are the types of things I really struggle with. It is hard not to judge when you know that some things are 100% preventable and the education/information is out there.

Quoting FooLynRoo:

I really dig deep and try not to be judgemental and accept that - the parents were not neglectful, just sometimes you can't check all the boxes and shit happens.

But my base instinct is to shake my head and blame the parents.. even though I realize - that its very easy for a freak accident to happen no matter how careful you try to be.



RedRozeMom
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:22 AM
I call those things accidents....things happen regardless...there are no guarantees in life, nor are all the precautions in the world a 100% promise of a life saved.
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Earth_Mama90
by Platinum Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:22 AM
Hmmm first two I would say parents because its not hard to get carseats ready and then just strap them in. The other stuff is preventable but stuff happens. A toy stops the bath from draining all the way an older sibling let's the blind cords down. Not everything can be prevented but tooth decay from bottle rot yes that 100 percent can be avoided
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FooLynRoo
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:27 AM

But say in comparison

A few years ago there was a story about an infant found dead in a crack house strapped into its baby carrier and it had died there and starved to death, and they could prove the parents as well as other adults (crack or drug users) were present when the child would have been starving and crying etc.


That is outrageous to me. in comparison that you hear a poor child lost its life being caught up in mini blind strings, you say she should have cut those strings shorter!! but I find myself hard pressed to really  hate on her - because she may have just though to put the strings up high in the blinds was good enough etc.. and well she was wrong but is she really a baby killer?


I guess thats how I can not comedown too hard on those types of things - in comparison to the real neglect that goes on.


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