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Can't f***ing do it anymore... *long* UPDATE with actual post :^P

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:08 PM
  • 217 Replies
My son... My 6 year old... I need help, and I need it now. I can't do it anymore, I'm emotionally and mentally and physically drained. 

I'll just give you a peek into the last 2 days, I won't go on with past stuff, because I hate playing the poor me card, and I don't like dwelling in the past anyway. But you will at least get a picture of the shit I deal with. 

So yesterday, I tell him we need to go to the vet to get my cat some food that she needs (her health depends on It, I wasn't just trying to make him go for the hell of it) and he starts freaking out. He doesn't want to go, I get it, but thats part of being a kid. Then he says he will only go if he gets a bagel from the bagel shop. I Tell him no, its not meal time, and I don't really have the money in my account to do that at the moment (hubby still hasn't gotten paid). So I tell him I need him to get dressed, it's time to go. Then he starts pounding on the floor and stomping and jumping, and because we live on the 2nd floor of an apartment, that's not allowed. So I warned him twice, and he continued. So I picked him up, and held him on the couch (I used my whole arms to keep him contained so I didn't have to grab him, as I didn't want to hurt him). I explained that I could let him go when he was able to control his body better and not stomp. So in the process I get my hair pulled, slapped, kicked, choked, you name it. He starts screaming that hes hot and needs water, so I eventually calm him down a bit, and allow him to get a drink of water. But then he decides not to, and goes back to kicking and stomping on the floor. So we repeat this routine again. So I finally tell him he can sit on the couch but only if he sits nicely. So he does, we discuss the fact that we have food at home, and eating out isn't an every day thing. He says he wants to go live with his friend. I asked why, and he says, (and gets this down right satanic look in his eyes), "because she has cheesy burritos!!!" and then proceeds to punch me in the face. I totally didn't see it coming because it happened so fast. Eventually we make up, say our sorries, and then I get a period of euphoria. Seriously, I cherish these moments because he's so sweet and he listens well and he's lovey (they typically last about 30 minutes and then he's back to his normal self, which isn't naughty like I previously mentioned, but he's frequently mouthy and a bit unpleasant). 

Fast forward to later, he wants to play the computer, I tell him no because his brother is already on it. So we have another situation similar to the one above, except this time, he bites my arm and almost dislocates my shoulder (though in his defense, he didn't mean to hurt my shoulder, it was the way he was throwing himself out and me trying to hold him down). Eventually he calms down, and we have a similar ending. 

I never got to the vet, after all this crap. 

So today, I say we absolutely need to go, because she needs her food and we won't be able to get more until at least Monday. Repeat yesterday's scene... Again with the bagel, again I say no, and even though it would be much easier, I'm not going to be manipulated. So this time, he bites my face, claws my face, and sticks his elbow in my throat (jugular) until I black out (I didn't pass out). 

What the hell am I doing wrong?? I'm so angry that this is my life!! I live this all the time (not every day, but this is no rare occurrence). I want to be able to enjoy my kids, I LOVE being a mother, I love my kids so much it hurts, but not this... I hate this... I don't understand why I'm dealing with a child who is so violent :( 

I don't know what to do anymore... 

I've had people tell me to just spank him, and I refuse for 2 reasons: 

1) because spanking only serves to lower his self esteem 
2) If I were to spank him, it would be out of anger and I won't allow myself to do that. I cannot, in those moments when he's clawing my face and kicking me, etc., step away from the situation and punish him, because it makes me angry. 

I have tried rewards, I have had talks, I've tried time outs (though he won't stay in them, so it ends up perpetuating the cycle because I have to hold him in time out), I've read countless parenting books, I've taken him to doctors who say its normal and he will grow out of it, please, I'm begging any of you for advice... What do I do? 

I'm desperate... I love him and I want him better and I want him to be okay, and I want to enjoy being with him. I'm so tired and so sad :'(
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by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
orcadarwin
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:09 PM

Advice on what?

nicsmama09
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:09 PM
What's wrong
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karmasabitch178
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:09 PM
Huh
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ColorMeCrazy
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:09 PM

What's going on?

Aamy
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Do what ?? Poop ?? Have sex ??
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jella31
by Angela on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:10 PM
An apple a day keeps the doctor away:)
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busymominmo
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:10 PM

What advice do you need? 

Have a Great Day!!!

AF2011
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:10 PM
Wait what??
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Mandiii04
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this
IT ONLY HURTS IF YOU TENSE UP AND DON'T USE LUBE!!!!!
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KeepOnWalking
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Then...stop doing it! Problem solved!
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