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Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:14 PM
  • 18 Replies

My DH works his ass off so that I can be a SAHM, and I really appreciate it. But when he has the weekend off he doesn't lift a finger to help me out. I do ALL of the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and take care of the children. During the week I make sure that he has a warm meal waiting for him when he walks through the door. And all that I want him to do when he gets home during the week is eat dinner and relax. Why don't I ever get a break or any me time. Being an active SAHM/student isn't the easiest job in the world. But when I bring up my feelings he can't understand where I am coming from. He just thinks that I am being lazy.

Sorry for going on about this. We live about 1200 miles away from my friends and family and I don't have anyone to talk to about it.

 


by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jillbailey26
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:19 PM

This is what I do.  I do all of my cleaning and everything during the day while my husband is at work.  Then when he gets home, we relax together.  On Saturday he typically does something in the yard and I'll do laundry.  Then on Sunday, we go to church, come home and relax.  Of course I don't mind doing most of the housework because I know he'd jump right in anytime I ask.

*ETA*  Also, no, you're not wrong for feeling the way you do.  It's hard to do things for people when you know they won't do it for you in return.  My husband learned the hard way that I have a lot of work to do around here.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

anotherhalf
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:20 PM
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Are your kids in school yet?  Once mine started going to school, I was able to get a system down to keep the house in order and food on the table with down time for me.  But before then, I dealt with the same thing you're going through.  I just rode it out.

Ziggy-Stardust
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:21 PM

I know what you mean. I kind of had the same problem when I was a SAHM. Now I work full time and I still do all the house work. I dont care as long as no one complains about how/when I do it.

3Monsters060909
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:23 PM

i totally agree with you on wanting help and some adult time...but be prepared for some bashin.....

FL2AK
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:23 PM
Is there that much to do that you still have to clean on the weekend? How old are your kids?
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baby_pumpkin523
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:25 PM

I try to do as much of the cleaning that I can during the day. But we only have one car right now so I have to walk my oldest to school in the morning and walk to pick her up after school. I also have a one year old that is sort of demanding of my time,which really slows me down.

At one point I decided that I wouldn't clean or do dishes for a weekend so that he could see what it is like when I don't do the house work. He just got p***** but didn't lift a finger to do anything. Don't get me wrong I love him but this drives me nuts!

Quoting jillbailey26:

This is what I do.  I do all of my cleaning and everything during the day while my husband is at work.  Then when he gets home, we relax together.  On Saturday he typically does something in the yard and I'll do laundry.  Then on Sunday, we go to church, come home and relax.  Of course I don't mind doing most of the housework because I know he'd jump right in anytime I ask.

*ETA*  Also, no, you're not wrong for feeling the way you do.  It's hard to do things for people when you know they won't do it for you in return.  My husband learned the hard way that I have a lot of work to do around here.


 


Metalmommaof1
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:27 PM

 my dh is the same way. i get aggravated as well. its normal for you to feel that way.

baquick
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:28 PM
DF does the same for me. But he does help on the weekends. He usually does the floors and lets me sleep in on the weekends. And he does te dishes at night. Maybe talk to him about it?
And no you aren't wrong. Ask him for one night or day that is yours.
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Rhyne
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:28 PM
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I was like that, and I really hate to admit, I used to get mad at him because I started to feel like his slave. One day I got up, made the kids breakfast, got them dressed and made a lunch that could be heated up and said "see ya!" I took myself out to lunch and a movie and just relaxed! You need a break and he needs to realize you can't do everything for everyone without one!
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Autumn19
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:29 PM
My dh works full time but it avgs out to about 14 days a month because he works 12hr shifts. So on his days off i make him help. Esp since im pregnant!
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