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The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

New Member needing some help

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 9:02 PM
  • 9 Replies
I have been married to my husband for 11 years and we are having some serious marriage problems. Yes marriage has been great but we have lost the joy. About 4 years ago he had a affair and it was short but there are still problems .  We have discussed this time and time again and we have even tried to depart but it didn't happen. We have even tried marriage counseling. sometimes I feel that we are just here for our daughter and that our love is gone. I do love him but I just cant do this any more. I just need someone out side of family and friends to talk to. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!
by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 9:02 PM
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Replies (1-9):
jranddebsmommie
by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 9:07 PM
I am here any time you need to talk just send me a message. I am a good listener
gacgbaker
by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 9:07 PM
I am so sorry that you guys are going through a rough time!  I don't have much advice, but I would recommend the Marriage and Relationships group, that might be a good place to just be able to vent and get some advice. 
bluedad
by on Apr. 26, 2007 at 9:16 PM

Are you and your husband togethor alot. My husband and I were having alot of marriage problems for about three yrs even this yr and were even talking divorce but the job we had forced us togethor 24/7 and we had hardly any alone time away from each other but in Feb that changed and now we are not togethor as much and our marriage is much better. We still dont feel like we did when we first married but we have learned to get along better.I dont know what your situation is but I hope it gets better. GOOD LUCK

cocovanilla
by on Apr. 27, 2007 at 12:07 AM
Thank you so much to all of you!

May God Bless
Mommie4
by on Apr. 27, 2007 at 12:14 AM
You might enjoy joining the Marriage & Relationship group.  Lots of friends and good advice in there!
Sorry you are having marital problems. I've been through all sorts of marital problems myself, so I know how painful it is.
There are lots of us willing to listen and to talk.
skyview
by on Apr. 27, 2007 at 12:18 AM
Please don't feel that things are hopeless.  There is still so much that you can do to make things work.  One of the ladies suggested the marriage and relationship group.  You might even want to consider talking to a therapist. If you can't afford one right now - or if your husband isn't comfortable going to one - you might want to ask your church leader. 

If you feel like talking just send me a message.  I might not know all the answers but I can give you an unbiased, honest opinion. 

Please don't feel like its over.  God will get you through this.

Jean Ann
momofsora
by on Apr. 27, 2007 at 12:31 AM
If you don't think that the love is there, then your just hurting yourself and your child. I'm sorry to say but I think that you need a trial seperation and if your happier without your husband you two should divorce. I sorry if I get you mad at me. If he had an affair on you why do  you stay  with him. I hope that i could help you.
Kim
AndreaMarmo
by on Apr. 27, 2007 at 12:36 AM
I don't think any advice in this situation is the "right advice." Only you know what's best for you and your family. Just try talking to someone, even if you have to seek counseling on your own. And try to not invest too much into what people have to say. Good luck.
profoundlove
by on Apr. 27, 2007 at 12:43 AM
All I know, is that if you continue to focus on the thing that hurts the most, you'll get more of it.
You brought up the cheating, do you still think about it? Does it still bother you?
Any time we feel uncomfortable, it's due to the fact that we're focusing on something uncomfortable...change your focus.

Couples think they need to focus on the problems to fix them...
You cannot feel sad enough, cry enough, be mad enough to fix anything...
That will only draw in more of the same...

People want to be happy, yet they focus on the things that don't cause happiness.

A feeling is born in a thought.
A belief is a thought you practice over & over again.


You can have whatever you want, you just have to know what you want & claim it. Expect it.

To know joy, you cannot focus on misery,
I wish you freedom of soul..
Aim
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