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wtf @#$2%&%$#$@$#@

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:49 AM
  • 16 Replies

It's late and I'm tired and negative so obviously the only things I can think about are negative things. I was just contemplating on why my husband never compliments me. If I ask him: "how's my hair?" he'll say looks alright. Or if I say "do my eyes look good?" after putting pretty makeup on, he'll stare clueless on what to say so he'll say: "you know I love you" and pretty much he'll answer like that every time I try hard to look attractive. My libido is a little low and let me tell you I'm a horny hot blooded italian, so for that to happen I must be down in the damn slumps. You might think: "you bitch! he's telling you he loves you" But what you have to understand is that's the only answer he has to answer to my questions on how I look. And it's the way he looks at me, kind of like he feels bad and the tone of voice also. Back in the day when he was still with his ex he would compliment her so much. "You are so beautiful, you're the most beautiful angel God created, you are hot like fire, you're a beauty queen, so on and so forth. I know because I read letters they used to write each other when he moved away for 2 months. I was quite shocked that words like that could come out of him. I always really thought that he was the type of man that is incapable to express his inner feelings like that. My sister is beautiful and every man thinks so too and I feel that he does too. I know he's with me but it's because he really is not a douche that abandons his children or tryes to take them away from their mother (me). I don't know what to think. I need to know the most honest opinion on this! No sugar coating please! And thank you


by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
StoneColdKiller
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:52 AM

 how did you guys hock up??? I see your avatar and even though your face is super close your pretty.

I would just right out and ask, and tell him you would really like to hear those things.

Paperfishies
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:53 AM

I think you're pretty!

Just tell him.  Ask him what he likes best that you wear/how you wear your hair/makeup, etc.  Tell him he seems really apathetic and it bothers you...You want to know that he is physically attracted to you.

OR, you could just shave your head and start wearing insane makeup....and ask if he wants to be apathetic now.

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thehickinhickor
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:58 AM
But do you know if he said those things out loud?
My hubby can sweet talk you over text or emails in person not so much.

Have you talk to him about need to hear these things?

Have you seen a doc about his libido?
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imandia4
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:01 AM
You are your worst critic. You don't need a man to make you feel pretty. You need you to make you feel pretty. Go get some sexy boots girl. Hook them up and make them look classy sexy. Forget asking what others think. They will know they can make you or break you if you ask others opinion.

Get over your insecurities. Everyone has flaws. Learn to love them.
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TheBookSiren
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Big big hugs.

I know what its like to need that reassurance. I'm the worst. I always tell my husband, I may not be high maintenance financially, but I make up for that and then some emotionally.
You ARE very beautiful, and a natural beauty at that.

I don't know WHY he doesn't say things like that to you. He may be not realizing your needs. Also maybe he was hurt by his ex and has been damaged that way or has a hard time opening up again. Or the opposite, he may feel he already has you, married you, so you should know you mean more to him than anyone. Sometimes guys need to be reminded in guy terms exactly what we NEED and how.
I used to think it took away from the meaning of it. Like if I had to tell dh to do something for me, it didn't mean as much. Really its what they sometimes need to give us what they need until they get it.

I think a CALM sit down talk with him is in order. Tell him about the letters and that it hurts you. Tell him even though your married you still need to feel wanted and adored.
Also remind him why you love him, and remind yourself as well. Think of all the reasons you do love him, and cherish & respect him. Men need to hear that too. We also as women can get obsessed with the negative, we need to remind ourselves in light of it that there is a good side, our hormones are just trying to stuff it in a suitcase and sit on it. Lol

Then after your talk, get in a sexy dress/nighty, tell HIM you KNOW you look amazing and take out that hot Italian fire and light him a flame.
It all helps the process. ;)
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Kristen1533
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:07 AM

idk im in the same boat i ask him and he says he only said those things to past girls b/c he felt he needed to, it didnt mean anything, they werent serious, he was younger blah blah.... its still kinda hurtful like fckn lie to me then idc!! i can get a random guy at the gas station to act like a perv but the one i want to lay down with is all "eh" its annoying and frustrating his friend will come over who also happens to be my ex and will say damn your girl lookin hot and washes dishes wish my wife would (they are in process of divorce her interest were clubs and other men) but that still doesnt get a response out of him tired of feeling the "whats wrong with me" but i think its just him and he feels he has me we both dont plan to go anywhere theres no need to work ????? idk if you figure it out please share with me

starzzz
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:08 AM

It started off as a sexual thing and then we started having feelings for each other. He wasn't in love with me as much or as fast as I became in love with him. He started talking to his ex 6 months after we met. Then he broke up with me because I was going crazy on him all the time and he tried talking to another girl because it didn't work out with the ex. In the mean time I ended up sleeping with other guys. I did it out of pain and trying to get over him because he was so cold to me. We slept with each other during the break up 4 times and the 4th I ended up pregnant. He changed and started becoming more loving towards me. I gained so much weight during the pregnancy but he seemed ok with it. But with time he just became indifferent again. He's a good guy but I feel like he's really not attracted to me. Btw thanks for saying I'm pretty (blushing)

Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 how did you guys hock up??? I see your avatar and even though your face is super close your pretty.

I would just right out and ask, and tell him you would really like to hear those things.


starzzz
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:10 AM


Quoting Paperfishies:

I think you're pretty! thanks

Just tell him.  Ask him what he likes best that you wear/how you wear your hair/makeup, etc.  Tell him he seems really apathetic and it bothers you...You want to know that he is physically attracted to you. I did and he really doesn't say much

OR, you could just shave your head and start wearing insane makeup....and ask if he wants to be apathetic now. lol


starzzz
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:15 AM


Quoting thehickinhickor:

But do you know if he said those things out loud?yes because I talked to the ex, and I know also because in the letters she would tell him how every time they would talk he would make her blush. Or how they would sit by the canions at night and he would put her hair behind her ear and tell her that she was so beautiful his body would shiver or whatever the freak
My hubby can sweet talk you over text or emails in person not so much. He never does, he'll just say I want you when I get home. That's as romantic as he'll get

Have you talk to him about need to hear these things? Yep over and over

Have you seen a doc about his libido?  It's my libido. If I don't feel confident I can't have sex


starzzz
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:18 AM

You make it sound so easy and so worth the try. I know, sometimes I don't know why I even give a sh..t

Quoting imandia4:

You are your worst critic. You don't need a man to make you feel pretty. You need you to make you feel pretty. Go get some sexy boots girl. Hook them up and make them look classy sexy. Forget asking what others think. They will know they can make you or break you if you ask others opinion.

Get over your insecurities. Everyone has flaws. Learn to love them. love this! You are so right


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