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Someone give me advice

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:45 PM
  • 19 Replies
My kids are back from weekend with their dad. Once again Monkey is covered in hives and his behavior is horrible. His dad said he started having bathroom problems last night. He is very allergic to milk. He finally was almost clear of the problems he gets when he is given milk from last visit with dad. What do I do? The child is miserable because his father gives him milk or his grandparents did. Visits arent mandated. I am being kind and I know the children want to see their dad and grandparents. I just dont know if I can continue to watch my child suffer every two weeks for ten or more days. What would you do?
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sweetcherry_59
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:46 PM

I don't know what I would do in that situation...I'm sorry. 

alwayskk
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:47 PM

I just don't even understand that. Like, at all. This isn't a parenting preference or style, it's a health issue. Have you called and talked to him? What did he say?

Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:47 PM
Really? You are asking that?

Um...don't send him. Why would you willingly send him somewhere he be harmed?
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Angeldolphine
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:52 PM
1 mom liked this

I would have a meeting with the father and with the grandparents. Tell them why your child can not have milk. Depending on how old your child is, I would also make sure your child knows.  I would also take pictures of the hives. I would tell them that if they can't be responsible and not let him have it, the next time it happens, your going to have to have supervised visits with them.

alwayskk
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Make sure you document EVERYTHING. Keep a calendar or a journal with notes about every conversation, every pick up time, every time your kids come back with hives or whatnot. Take pics of his hives with a timestamp.

MammaPaparazza
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:00 PM
Get a doctors note saying no dairy and make two copies...put in envelopes with exs name and other in gparents name...mail or hand deliver...if it doesn't stop them from giving him milk....then they dont care about his health..and in the future they can have chaperoned visitation...at your place
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ReidsNana
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:04 PM
I understand you are being nice by letting your ex see your kids, but this is a serious health issue. What may be hives one time could turn into him having breathing issues. This has happened with one I'd my kids. I agreement with the other mommas, you need to take pics, you need to talk to both dad and grandparents. If the situation were to happen even one more time, I would tell him no more visits until you can figure out a solution. Your son and his health are far more important than anything else. Dad is being very irresponsible.
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Kenre
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:25 PM
His dad was there when he was diagnosed. He has the paper. It is in his medical record. His dad says he doesnt know what he got this time that caused this and asked if I gave him something. My house is dairy free. I dont know what to do because I dont want to be a horrible mom. If I do either than I look horrible.
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AjsMom0508
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:28 PM

You keep him home until his father and grandparents can learn to read and keep dairy containing items from being given to him.  Until they can do so they don't deserve visitation IMO.  It's not a simple mistake. 

periwinkle163
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:30 PM

 Maybe he is allergic to something else at their house if they say they aren't giving him milk. I would ask about what else he has been ingesting and what kind of soaps they use and such they use.

"It is my observations, though, that happiness limits the amount of suffering one is willing to inflict upon others"
— Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)
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