I saw this and thought it was cute. Lol and mostly true at least for my part of Texas.
ADVICE TO ANYONE MOVING TO TEXAS
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. ... ... 3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & ammunition & bait in the same store. 5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive. 6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?" 7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle. 8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say. 9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity." And the collateral phrase, "You call this hot?" "Wait 'til August." 10. There are no delis. Don't ask. 11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder when making a point, especially in a bar. 12. Chili does NOT have beans in it. 13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven. 14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares. 15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down in December. 16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February, and Summer! 17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F-150 is. 18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot", you can be certain they are. 19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a bowl of guacamole handy. Water won't do it! 20. "Rocky Mountain oysters" are NOT oysters. Don't ask. 21. If someone says they're "fixin'" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken. 22. If you don't understand our passion for college and high school football just keep your mouth shut. 23. The distance to the door, but the availability of shade does not determine the value of a parking space. 24. If you are a slower moving vehicle on a two-lane road, pull onto the shoulder; that is called courtesy. 25. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors. 26. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular weekend pastime. 27. Tea = Iced Tea. There is no other kind! 28. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing
I agree with all but the deli's. We have tons of Deli's in Houston :)
One time at work we had some people from California there interviewing prospective students and I came out and told one of the students that I was fixin to go to lunch. The guy from Cali looked up at me and said "your what?" I said it again and he said "what does that mean? What did you break?" so I had to explain it to him.
I think all that applies to the whole south. :)
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- gcstar42
on Jan. 21, 2012 at 4:36 PM