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*bleep* My husband says...........

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What is the most asinine, crazy, out there shit your SO, DH, DF has ever said?

I think with me it would be (and the tv posts got me thinking of this) we were discussing if we ever had another child, what we would do different, as far as raising them. He stated TV would be gone. The new kid would not be exposed to it. he is is crazy! I can't be without TV, so I know my kid would be exposed too! LOL

We have been married almost 8 yrs, I know there is more shit he has said that made me go WTF? but its hard to think of it right now. Give me time tho! LOL

by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 11:57 AM
Replies (41-50):
Rydersmommy178
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 12:59 PM
Omg! I am dying over here! Just woke up my hubby (who works nights) because I was laughing so hard!

Quoting SpikedMango:

One time DH was eating the sausage from one of the Hillshire Farms gift baskets he got for Christmas. I walked in the room and looked at him funny. He was all, What?"

"Why are you eating the paper it's wrapped in?"

".............. It's not the sausage skin?"

"No. That is paper. Paper. You are eating paper. Also, you just ate the Hillshire Farms STICKER attached to the paper."

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Rydersmommy178
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 1:05 PM
2 moms liked this
DH talks in his sleep often one night I had just gotten comfortable (on my own side if the bed, minding my own business) and he starts flopping around pulling on the blankets.. I ignore him and fall asleep all the sudden I wake up to: "stop fucking touching me! You are always on my side I the bed all up on me while I'm trying to sleep"
I said "wha???" look over and he is back asleep.
That was when I realized he somehow managed to get my body pillow on top of him and thought it was me lmao!
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GirlieGal76
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2012 at 1:14 PM
3 moms liked this

My husband sleep talks a lot too, and I try to have conversations with him while he's doing it because it's hilarious. He never remembers it though. It's when he has "fighting" dreams that it really bothers me because he will kick, punch, push, etc. while he's asleep. A few months ago I woke up to him kicking my thighs and shins and trying to push me off the bed. He kept yelling my name and telling me to run fast! I finally started screaming and smacked him a few times and got him to wake up because it was actually hurting me this time. He finally woke up and explained to me that he was telling me to run because he was trying to protect me, from a chicken that was chasing me. My hero....

JasKat3
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 1:33 PM

 I was laughing so hard I started crying for like 5 min straight!!

Quoting SpikedMango:

One time DH was eating the sausage from one of the Hillshire Farms gift baskets he got for Christmas. I walked in the room and looked at him funny. He was all, What?"

"Why are you eating the paper it's wrapped in?"

".............. It's not the sausage skin?"

"No. That is paper. Paper. You are eating paper. Also, you just ate the Hillshire Farms STICKER attached to the paper."

 

  Jaskat

JasKat3
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 1:35 PM

 haha.. My  dh is the same way!! He once grabbed me under the ribs and twisted his hand. Hurt like hell.. He woke up due to me screaming.. LOL. He felt so bad afterwards.. But he continues to kick and punch every so ofter. lol

Quoting GirlieGal76:

My husband sleep talks a lot too, and I try to have conversations with him while he's doing it because it's hilarious. He never remembers it though. It's when he has "fighting" dreams that it really bothers me because he will kick, punch, push, etc. while he's asleep. A few months ago I woke up to him kicking my thighs and shins and trying to push me off the bed. He kept yelling my name and telling me to run fast! I finally started screaming and smacked him a few times and got him to wake up because it was actually hurting me this time. He finally woke up and explained to me that he was telling me to run because he was trying to protect me, from a chicken that was chasing me. My hero....

 

  Jaskat

JasKat3
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 1:38 PM

 My dh talks a lot in his sleep. I need to start writing them down cause they are hilarious.

The only one I remember is one sat morning out 9yr old came in asking if he could watch cartoons. He slight nudged his dad and asked. His response "But we have to build the Legos!" .. Wth??? hahah

  Jaskat

BraedynsMom414
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 1:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Lmao! My bf talks in his sleep. The most recent convo was me telling him the baby wasn't in the bed cause he flipped over and freaked telling me not to roll on ds. Then I was like hes. Not in here. He then tells me I can't believe you got all three of them. Me wtf?? What are you talking about. Him, Spiderman god. Me, just roll over. Him, You're crazy there awesome. Lol
I have no idea where this stuff comes from but its pretty hiarious. Well besides when he gets all crazy and yells about random stuff lol


Quoting HouseofFeast:

Sometimes he's funny, sometimes I want to smoosh his head like a grape until it pops.

Here's an example of funny:

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HouseofFeast
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 1:43 PM

Mamato3Nunns
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 1:45 PM
Oh my gosh. I am watching that leverage episode right now. Only it's a rich CEO not a rich senator. Lol


Quoting teri4lance:

that he wont donate organs bc he doesnt want some rich senator to steal his heart from someone who has been waiting for it. 


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abbysmommy429
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 1:48 PM
Your DH sounds hilarious!

Quoting SpikedMango:

DH was playing Boggle on his phone and at the end it shows all the words you didn't find. He got really mad and slammed his phone down.

Me : "What the heck?!"

Him : "They use all these obscure freaking words that nobody freaking knows and it's pissing me off!"

Me : "Let me see."

He hands me the phone and points to a word. "THIS one! What the hell is a-fuh-rayde?! Who the hell knows what that word is?!"

Me : "............. You mean 'afraid'?"


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ How to get silence out of a man for three solid hours. :)

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