Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

*bleep* My husband says...........

Posted by   + Show Post

What is the most asinine, crazy, out there shit your SO, DH, DF has ever said?

I think with me it would be (and the tv posts got me thinking of this) we were discussing if we ever had another child, what we would do different, as far as raising them. He stated TV would be gone. The new kid would not be exposed to it. he is is crazy! I can't be without TV, so I know my kid would be exposed too! LOL

We have been married almost 8 yrs, I know there is more shit he has said that made me go WTF? but its hard to think of it right now. Give me time tho! LOL

by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 11:57 AM
Replies (81-87):
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 3:45 PM
1 mom liked this
One night my husband was mubbling in his sleep.
Me - Are u okay?
DH - I'm naked.
Me - What?
DH - I'm naked!
Me - What? (starts giggling)
DH - (sits up from a dead sleep and shouts) Im naked! Im naked! Im naked!!!(throws himself back on the bed and the huffs)

After that I had to leave the bedroom because I was laughing so hard.

He says random stuff all the time in his sleep.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 4:48 PM
2 moms liked this

Another gem from today..

"Effing school bus kids! You KNOW where you live! It's not some secret surprise as to where the bus will drop you off everyday! You have a routine! They drop you off at the exact same place every day! Why the hell does it take you twenty damn minutes to get all your crap back in your little school bag and get off the bus!? You're poor planners and procrastinators and you will fail at life and everyone will hate you because of your awful work ethic! If you would just stop this nonsense now you might have a chance at a life where everyone doesn't hate you! Stupid kindergartners!!"

(This was when we got stopped behind a school bus while trying to get our DD to the doctor. We were late for the appointment already and this kid took foreverrrrr. I was laughing so hard at him!)

by Member on Jan. 24, 2012 at 9:09 PM
2 moms liked this

This wasn't my husband but my Mom...

She had just come out of surgery and was out of it for a couple of days.

Mom...Did you get the list

Me...what list?

Mom....THE list.

Me...Mom what list are you talking about?

Mom....THE LIST!!!!!!!

Me...yes I got the list

Mom..good, cuz the nurses are having a party and didn't invite me. WHY DIDN'T THEY INVITE ME???...I want to shower

by Buttcrackncornchips on Jan. 24, 2012 at 9:32 PM
Dh has random weird sayings for everything. He's a machinist and very southern so they get fairly odd and colorful. When trying to describe a problem he was trying to fix at work he said
"The thing-a-ma-jig came loose from the wobbling shaft and made the do-lolly bobble up and down." WTF
Honestly nothing surprises me though we are both southern and we both say random crazy shit. LOL
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2012 at 10:18 PM
My dh is a sleep walker and talker, there have been so many times that I've been rofl but this is one of my favorites. We were dating and we fell asleep watching a movie, I had set an alarm for 1230 am because he needed to head home for work. Well
the alarm went off, he sat up went
across my room to my stereo system
And proceeded to take it apart. I'm laughing hysterically and asking what he's doing, he mumbles "I don't know, I'm going back to bed" and lays down. He never shut the alarm off so its still beeping. I'm about ready to fall off the bed because I'm laughing so hard. it wasn't a big deal
if he left so I let him sleep a little
longer. When he finally woke up I
told him what he did and he didn't remember a thing and though I was kidding until I pointed across the room at my stereo. The real kicker is he couldn't figure our how to put the stereo back together lmao. I love this man LOL. The other night his phone made a noise alerting him that it was fully charged, he got out of bed went to his dresser opened and closed his sock drawer and climbed back in bed. No recollection of it, I just find it hilarious that sounds make him do strange things.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 10:51 PM

There are a few that I still make fun of him about.

One day he came home from work looking all sorts of upset. I asked him what was wrong and this is the convo we had

Me: Whats wrong?

Him: The sole of my shoe is falling off!!!

Me: Well, fix it or get a new pair.

Him: Yeah, I guess I could just nail the sole back on.

Me: Seriously???

Him: Yeah, do you know where that container of nails went??

Me: Uhhhmmm, nails will go THROUGH the sole and INTO YOUR FOOT!

Him: Oh yeah, huh, guess its a new pair then

The second one was when I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant. I could not sleep without my huge pregnancy pillow. It took me forever to fall asleep and I never stayed sleeping for long. I had just finally fell asleep when I was woken up by this:

Him: ALLIGATORRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: What?!

Him: Theres a f**king alligator in the bed!!!!!

Me: What?!?!

at that point he ripped my body pillow out of bed, punched it then through it out the window =(

He did not remember this at all. My poor pillow.

by on Jan. 24, 2012 at 11:06 PM

Hubby sleeping dreaming about work (hes a nurse at a nursing home)

Him: i think she has that disease

Me: what disease?

Him: that anti gravity disease

And another

trying to wake him up to go grocery shopping.

*lifts his head, opens his eyes, and points at my side of the bed*

Him: i swear to god i dont know her

me: who?

Him: alice something (idr the name)

Me: who the fuck is alice?

Him: she has that anti gravity disease

(these were seperate nights at least 2 weeks apart)

CafeMom Tickers

CafeMom Tickers

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)