He still hasn't responded...Wtf!!!! FINAL UPDATE JUST ADDED
Im just updating you guys from yesterday's post. I deleted that post myself eventhough it had close to 600 replies because I put his picture up and if anyone actually knew him i'd die! So I deleted it anyway so to be contuinued!! He still hasn't replied to my messages..I sorta made things worse by making up a song about how good his sex is and i played it off as a joke by adding "lol" still no response!! Ok so I dont have his phone number and I only know his work number and he's about to get off work within the next half hour...so should I call him at his job and get a response to my messages?? Hurry up quick tell me yes or no!!
OMG...He responded...not good at all ...I want to cry. He wrote "Cmon now get real our focus should be on the kids and that its. Anymore talk like this from you and im going to block you"
He hasn't responded to my message saying "but i loveee you" . Im not delusional enough to think that he loves me or even likes me at all. He hasnt blocked me yet so I took various pictures of myself making pouty sex faces and i have a big butt and he loves my big butt .He took a picture of it once and he kept it around for years even after he had a girlfriend..he told me he'd pull it out and wack off to it ...so i went online...found a woman with a body similar to mine with her bare ass bent over hanging out with baby oil all over it...he's gonna think it's my ass..I sent the pics and told him i bought some new sexy undies just for him . I know he's gonna get the biggest fucking hard on lol ......I sent it because i know eventhough he'll block me he'll be horny as a motherfucker and when I see him in court he's gonna be thinking about that ass shot I sent him ...I plan on looking gorgeous for the court date...Im getting my hair done, new outfit ,makeup ,sunglasses and ill have a totally sexy bitch face going on . Haha...ill update you guys with his response or if ive been blocked...if he blocks me ill just unblock him from my other fb page and send a couple more sexy pics just to mess with him lol
Well you guys this will be my final update . I just want to update you guys and try to make some sense of what im going through. I understand that from the outside looking in I come across like a total nut who just cant get it through her head that he doesn't want me. I totally get that..Trust me I scream at my tv when I see Chelsea from Teen Mom pining away for such a deadbeat douche like Adam who clearly doesn't want her . I'm like..Dude why cant she see the obvious ?! HE DONT WANT YOU! HE NEVER LIKED YOU DUMBASS!! So you know...I GET IT.
Back to my post...I've went through phases where I was totally embarassed by my actions ...and times where I felt sending him those messages was justified. I'm at the point right now where I no longer feel embarassment for what I did. Im really hurt right now and I feel as though I've been so damaged by this guy that I allowed myself to sink so low that I would degrade myself and basically send him messages saying yeah use me for sex .
What you guys dont understand is that I am in ALOT of pain. Most of you will never go through what i've been through . Can you imagine loving someone having a planned baby and than being totally deserted... and called yesterday's trash ...a shelter bitch...and much more. I've allowed this guy to make me feel absolutely worthless. You all are wondering if im a troll because Gosh no woman can degrade herself like that and it be real...well when you have no self esteem you'd be surprised at how low you can sink to catch the attention of someone you love but are being rejected by. I do not do well with rejection ..I used to be able to take rejection just fine. I was dumped before..I never did any of this crazy shit ..but this guy took away my self worth.
I honestly feel like even if I walked outside tommorow and met a fabulous hot great guy who treated me like a princess..I'd feel like something was wrong with HIM for being into me when even my own child's father thinks im trash and he even thinks our kids are trash..so why would anyone else want me?
Ive met some good guys and I turn them down because I feel im not worthy of being with anyone else..and I still desperately want to know WHY he threw me and his kids away like trash and yet had kids with other people and fully parents them. Im not a psycho . I didn't push him away from his kids. His rejection was since day one. He's never been in thier lives. He would visit once every 2 years . I was not stalking him . I completly left him alone. All my male family members would comment on how he was so lucky he had such an easy going baby mother because they knew crazy ones and I was just cool . I NEVER gave him any drama. My mistake was still being in love with him and allowing him to use me for sex. I thought if i had sex with him..maybe he'd fall back in love with me .
Back in 2010 he told me...hey give me another chance with my kids I promise I wont leave them again. I just want to be a father to them. I reluctantly agreed. The first few drop off things went fine. I simply dropped them off and left. He would start to tell me oh youre looking nice today.. You're my kids mother and i think youre a good mother i was wondering if i could have a hug goodbye..I started thinking hmmm well maybe he really misses me.. I hugged him..Later that night he messaged me..we talked. He kept telling me..prying really telling me to tell him all my feelings about him and just spill my guts ..so i did. Shortly afterwards during the drop offs and pick ups we would kiss . He had a girlfriend and I felt bad about it but they had no kids together and I thought..well maybe this can work out with us . Pretty soon after that he was at my house all the time ... he seemed very happy with me. We would spend time with the kids, cook dinner together, go to bed have sex literally all night long and in the morning he'd leave and go to work . After about a month or so I started to feel like he was using me ..issued an ultimatum. He chose his girlfriend. I was VERY hurt. He suddenly decided he couldnt or wouldnt take the kids for weekends anymore and all the visits with the kids stopped. I found out I was pregnant...I told him..he didnt believe me/didnt care. I went to his house with a brand new pregnancy test and I went into the bathroom took the test..it was positive. He saw the test. He had no reaction. He just told me to take the kids and go home and he'd call me . That's the last time I saw him until I saw him in court when I filed for sole custody. He NEVER checked up on me ...He never asked hey did you have a kid .. He never saw our kids or visited them.. I was extremly hurt..I felt like an animal..like a sperm dumpster for him. I had an abortion for two reasons ...I didnt want to go through another pregnancy alone . I really didnt want anymore kids . He did not know I had an abortion because we hadn't been in contact in 18 months . He didnt ask about the pregnancy or baby at all . I messaged him and told him that i had a miscarriage and it was the hardest day of my life..and that i was alone. He said NOTHING . I checked his wall and he's busy talking about a sports game...not caring at all . I wrote him again..I said so you dont even care ? His response was " omg smh " as if my telling him about a lost pregnancy was insignificant and annoying...and i guess i just sorta snapped..
Like i said im not embarassed anymore. I think that i just let a man drive me crazy and if I have to cut him out of my life to feel sane than I will . Im going to withdraw my petition for custody and move on with my life without him. I have no doubt in my mind that he is not interested in being a parent to our kids . If I had not filed for sole custody how many more years would have passed with no contact ? He doesnt even THINK about our kids in his day to day life. I remember back in 2010 when i allowed him another chance his aunt messaged me saying he put thier pictures on his facebook like a proud father...My thought was..my kids are 3 and 5 years old...he's had a facebook for years...why was there not a single picture of our kids on his facebook until than . It's not like he didnt have pictures of them . I know that im mentally ill as well. Im depressed and i have panic disorder .
Well this is it...
Im withdrawing the petition not because im afraid to face him in court and because im embarassed. Im withdrawing the petition for my own mental health. I need stability. I dont need him in my life. My kids deserve a healthy mother. I'd rather them have one healthy full time mother than a depressed mother and a half assed father. Im not embarassed
No. He didn't respond for a reason. Don't start harrassing him at work.
LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! Get on with your life and forget about him.
I didn't see the post. But I remember your, so I take it your still playing childish games with your Ex?
you are an idiot
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