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So I just became single... (PIOG)

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:04 AM
  • 40 Replies
1 mom liked this

For the last several weeks, my boyfriend has been lying, cheating, avoiding me, and doing other various shady things. I confronted a few times, and he downplayed it all, but then I found absolute proof. I even talked to his other girlfriend, who was under the impression that he was in an open relationship and had tried to make contact with me several times so she could make sure we were on the same page, but he kept her from doing so (he even logged onto MY Facebook and blocked her so she couldn't contact me). I also found out that he planned on breaking up with me soon. So, I got a head start on all that.

Yesterday while he was at work, I moved all mine and my son's stuff out of the house (DS is not his son). I didn't even tell him I was leaving. I left him a note telling him that I knew everything, had talked to the girl, and that I had a few more things I'd need to pick up eventually. I moved into my mother's house.

When he got home, the house was half empty (I only took what was mine). He called, we fought, then we talked a bit. He admitted to everything, including telling that poor girl that we were in an open relationship (the dumbass is staying with him even after all that - he's her problem now). He didn't admit to wanting to leave me - he said all he was hoping for was a break. Well, he got it.

Anyway, long story short, I'm single. Actually single for the first time in years - while our relationship hasn't lasted very long, I have never really been "single." I have always felt like I need to be in a relationship to be happy. I love being in a relationship. I feel like I am a better person.

But now I don't know what to do. I am jobless but searching, and I have plans to go back to school but I have to figure out financial aid first. I need to figure out who I am, what I want, what I deserve. I need to grow the hell up.

On top of all that, I am fucking terrified. And I feel so lonely. I want to hug him, and to cuddle with him, and talk to him. I won't, but I want to. I really need to take time to figure myself out and learn to be happy with myself, but I just don't know how. I miss him, even though I know I am better off without him. It hurts. Physically hurts. Every time I think of him, I want to cry and call him and come back. I know that I can't, but it's all I want right now.

I don't really know why I just typed all this out... I just needed to vent and have someone tell me it will be okay. If anyone has been through something similar, please feel free to give me some advice on how to deal with this.

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jkleinman
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:09 AM
1 mom liked this
As much as it hurts right now it will slowly get better and you will learn you deserve so much better. It's going to hurt and you're going to miss him, there is no changing that, but you just have to remind yourself how badly he disrespected you. You really should take this time to heal, and find out who you are without some one else. I'm sorry you're going through this, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will get better. Just take it one day at time. Good luck!
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momo3fgr8tteens
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:17 AM

It will be okay. You need to become a strong woman first so you can find a strong man that doesn't need to cheat and lie. By bettering yourself you will find someone better. The first step is to find a job and let that be your anchor. Start making new friends and focus on yourself and your child. After you feel stronger, go to school. You will meet new people and find support systems there, and maybe even a really great guy who won't pull that bs. It won't be easy but you WILL be okay. Write down some goals for you new great life and start going after them. Give yourself time and don't everything to be great right away but it will get better with time. Be strong girlfriend-you got this. Your over the previous bs life!! Hugs!!!!!

LiesLiesLies
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:19 AM
6 moms liked this
It's actually super refreshing to see someone take a little personal responsibility for once.

I feel that that alone speaks volumes that you are on the right track in life.

It seems like you have a supporting mother which is a good foundation...now you go and make yourself an independent self reliant woman and then good things are sure to follow:)
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Caitlin10081989
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:25 AM

It will be okay. 

Apollos82
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:28 AM
I love how brave and resolute you are. Stay strong, learn who you are and what you need in a mate. You're heading in the right direction. You can do this.
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ADaltonmommy
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:32 AM
When you make it you'll find that you worked so hard to get your life together you won't take less than the best from life :-) just hang in there one step at a time
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Lilcountrygrl86
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:32 AM

 Sorry =(

SophistiSlut
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:09 AM

Thanks ladies. :(

MommyAnnaBanana
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:12 AM
I am very sorry and I wish you the very best.
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rockinmomto2
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:14 AM

*hugs* Just take it one step at a time.

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