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Men, Abortion, and Child Support *EDIT*

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:45 PM
  • 75 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Which more closely fits your views?

Options:

Men should have equal say on abortion and should always be obligated to pay child support

Men should have an equal say on abortion and should be able to opt out of child support/parental rights if their desire was to have an abortion

Men should not get a say on abortion and should still be required to pay child support

Men should not get a say on abortion and should be able to opt out of child support/parental rights if their desire was to have an abortion

Other (explain)


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 106

View Results

A page that I follow on Facebook asked what his followers think about men having a say in whether a woman has an abortion. Most of the answers were along the lines of "her body, her choice" but many responses (from men, primarily) also stated that the man should have an equal say and if the man wants nothing to do with the child, or would have chosen to abort, that he should not be obligated to pay child support. One man said that a woman choosing to have his baby after an unintended pregnancy forces him into a life of financial burdon and is a form of slavery. 

I'm just curious what your thoughts are on this? How much say should a man have on abortion, and if it's the option he would choose, and the mother chooses to carry to term and parent the child, should the man have the right to opt out of child support and other parental rights? 

Is there an area in this situation where a double standard is held? 

Do you believe it is fair to a man if he gets no say, but is forced to pay child support for 18 years?

*EDIT* I suppose my concern for people saying the dad should be able to opt out of child support is that CS is intended to go towards the children and the children's expenses. While I understand CS can and is abused by some women receiving it, it's intention is to make sure that the child, which both parents created, is cared for properly. The child gets no say in its creation, nor does it get a say in whether a parent chooses to be involved.

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
heidimoose134
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:58 PM

BUMP!

heidimoose134
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:33 PM

BUMP!

hautemama83
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:35 PM
#4
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MsDean
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:38 PM
1 mom liked this

 I believe a man has no say. Unless he was raped he should have to pay cs.

If 2 people have consentual sex then they both are responsible for the child financially.

I also think men get the short end of the stick and I feel parents should split the child 50/50 with no support needed. Obviously some cases that does not work but then the child should go with whomever can meet ALL obligations better, not just the parent who has a vagina.  

HouseofFeast
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:38 PM
2 moms liked this

I think he made the choice when he had sex. Double standard? Yes. But, biologically speaking, there has always been a double-standard.

And, honestly, who gives a fuck if it's unfair to him? It's more unfair to the child who would grow up without his involvement and support. The man had a choice to have sex, the child did not.

((And, if this post is anything like the las tone on the topic, HUGE DIFFERENCE between a fetus and a child))


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colins_mom
by Heather on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:39 PM
number 4 if he doesn't want to be around he shouldn't have to be forced into paying child support if he doesn't want to be a dad. but he should not have a say as to whether not his girlfriend or wife has an abortion since it's her body she should have the decision as to whether she does or does not have a baby
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Piskie
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:41 PM

There will always be a double standard, because biologically, they cannot carry children.

If and when they do, then it'll be the same. But no way in hell should anyone else have a say in what medical procedures a woman goes through.

Should his opinions and views be taken into account and thought of? In most cases yes... but that's up to the woman to decide, as only the woman can carry the pregnancy. 


SexyDiva19
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:42 PM
I agree with this. I think the men who think this way are just brinbg selfish jerks. No one made them have sex.

If he didn't want to see the child so be it but he should have to support the child because the child didn't ask to be here.



Quoting HouseofFeast:

I think he made the choice when he had sex. Double standard? Yes. But, biologically speaking, there has always been a double-standard.

And, honestly, who gives a fuck if it's unfair to him? It's more unfair to the child who would grow up without his involvement and support. The man had a choice to have sex, the child did not.

((And, if this post is anything like the las tone on the topic, HUGE DIFFERENCE between a fetus and a child))




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Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:45 PM

#4 but I accidentally voted #2. Misunderstood the 1st time reading.

RhondaVeggie
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:53 PM
I don't think he should get an equal say because he is not the one who has to carry the child. If the mom wants an abortion and the dad doesn't then she should take that in to account but he should not be able to prevent it. If she wants to keep it and he does not then I'm in two minds about child support. Yes it's his child but he didn't want it. If the woman went out and got a pet that he didn't want then he'd be under no obligation to take care of it. Yes, a pet is different than a human baby but it's the same principle.

Really the only solution is to talk it through and come to an agreement beforehand. One of my friends adopted a baby, birth mom said the dad wouldn't care and had told her to do whatever but then he decided to try and get the baby back. There was a whole series of screwups and after almost a year together they had to give the baby back to the birth mom who decided to raise her since the dad wasn't fit. They could have saved everyone a lot of heartache if they'd just talked it out more thoroughly beforehand.
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