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Toddler socialization: I don't want my daughter to be 'that' kid that no one likes.

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 4:36 PM
  • 5 Replies

My daughter is wonderful. She's sweet, loveable and I can barely go grocery shopping with her due to the people talking to her (not me, her). All adults/older kids love her. With kids her age, though, it's another story. She has two cousins, both are her age within 6 months. When kids get near her, she screams at them in a 'back off from my space' type way. She will only scream one time then she will watch the kid. She did this to our nephew (her first cousin) and since he doesn't like loud noises, he became afraid of her. He wouldn't run from her, but there was no type of socialization going on. They played independently in the same room. Her other cousin was tired to the point of borderline hysteria (so this may have been why maybe?) when they played last. Reagan pulled her pacifier out of her mouth and the child went into a meltdown.

I don't know if these situations were dependent on variables and not really how she is with toddlers, but she acts like she doesn't know what to do with them. She will follow a 9 year old around before she tries to play with a child her age. And when she does play with a toddler, she seems to act bossy and have an 'all mine' attitude, even though she doesn't really talk yet. I had to really stay on her to not try to take every toy from her cousin that he picked up (and they were his toys!). I know children will be children, but I want her to know that screaming in a kid's face and hoarding toys is not ok. This is our first dive into real manners territory and I would appreciate any tips on how to make the message stick because I am a mother to a very hardheaded child.

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 4:36 PM
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by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 8:39 PM

Hugs! Maybe she needs to be in a day care or something for a little bit of time (like a couple hours a week to start) and she can meet other kids her age to socialize with them! Good luck!

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 8:45 PM

My dd (an only) was the same way.  Now that she goes to Head Start, she is a different little girl!!

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 8:47 PM
I put my dd in daycare at 1 ( I worked full time). And after I switched I working at home I kept her in there part time for the socialization part. I plan on doing the same with my Ds when after he turns one. You might want to put her in a mothers day out program for a few hours a day 2 or 3 days a week
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by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 8:51 PM

No offense, but she spends far too much time with adults.

Get her in a play group or daycare environment to learn how to deal with other kids, not just pleasing/interacting with adults. If you don't she may end up being blullied in school or, no offense to anyone with this term, socially retarded.

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:09 PM

 I very much disagree with others. It is not good for toddlers and young children to be socialized by groups of other toddlers and young children in situations like day care or pre-school. That makes no sense at all. Children belong with their mothers, can have bad things happen to them, can learn bad behaviors, and have developmental delays.

The way that humans have always been socialized is by being around people of all ages. Some little ones don't get a lot of chances to be around kids their age with their mom. That's ok. They will learn social skills with interactions with older people and as they get older and do start to have interactions with children they will be able to do just fine.

My grandson has an immune deficiency disease and he is supposed to stay away from other kids. Since we used to keep him away from all other kids he didn't know what to do if he did happen to be in the same general area with another child. He would be afraid and act weird. Now he is over 3 and we don't have to be as careful. He quickly adapted to playing outside with nice kids. He still avoids kids he can tell are not so nice. He can quickly figue out the kids to avoid. It's normal for only kids under 4 to not share toys.  

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