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I guess misery just loves company???

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:13 PM
  • 7 Replies

my friend Stephanie text me earlier and i just responded having forgotten to before...seeing i was obviously still up she called me back to chat and asked what I was doing..to which i said that I was just hanging out bored, watching bad reality tv and messing around on the computer (ohhh cafe mom! lol) waiting for DH to get home.  She asked where he was and I said he had a dinner meeting after work in the city..should be home soon.  "ohhhhhhhhh" she said. um ok weird i was just like oh what?  Her tone changed as if she wre talking to a child. "Are you sure that's really where he is? Its almost 11pm on a Wednesday?" This caught me off gaurd "Um yeah Steph where else would he be. "I dunno Chris, but he works an awful lot dont you think. alot of long late hours. Id be worried thats all...anyway so .." and she went on to try to change the subject. WTF is that???? I told her I dont know what she was getting at but I know where my husband is because i have trust and faith he is where he says he is not to mention he asked me about a million times if I wanted to get a sitter and meet him in the city for the dinner (as I often have even for his business) and whenever he has worked late, if i call he always answers .  Im not a stupid naive girl who thinks her husband is perfect..no one's is..but hes not a liar or a cheater.  I just went on to tell her that she knows very well DH has a very demanding joband unfortunetly is does require many hours and sometimes late nights...but no I dont worry because I have trust." She''s just like "yeah Im sure your right." but in a VERY condescending tone and again changed the subject.  So a little background is 6 monthes ago Stephanie's engagement ended when her fiance admitted to her he met someone else.  My heart broke for her and I know she's had a hard time with it ...but not for nothing dont try to pass what one guy did on every other man...its almost like she wishes it to be true to make herself feel better..maybe im looking in to it to much but this just happened like 15 mins ago and im still shaking my head

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:13 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Rhyne
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:15 PM

Just brush it off, she obviously has trust issues now and probably is thinking since it happened to her, it will happen to everyone. If she gets overbearing with it, then I would say something. 

kolbiesmommy
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:23 PM
What she is doing is hoping to signs of anything that might hurt you the same way she was so you won't be blindsided like she was. She thinks if she can pick up on any signs of an unfaithful spouse that she can warn you long before the situation turns into what hers did. She wants to rush to someone's aid and be the safety of someone else because she is having to be the victim right now and probably tired feeling that way. I dunno if this makes any sense to you or anyone else. She needs to know she'll recognize the signs and not be played a fool again.
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alilsmartass
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:25 PM

trying to bring you down. That is not cool!

ChloeDolce
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:30 PM

I totally see your point of veiw and it does make a lot of sense.  Didn't even think of it this way.  I wasn't "mad" at her for it because I understand the situation she is.  It was more of a shake head/eye roll situation because I'm secure enough in my marriage to not let it effect me or get me frazzled.  Its not like Id even mention the convo again to her...or act differently toward her for that matter.  But your def right.  Maybe its a bit of a sign I should ask her how SHE is doing.  Even though its been 6 monthes...everyone was at her side in the beginning and then it kind of leaves our thoughts but of course not hers.   Thanks for helping me to look at it in a different way

Quoting kolbiesmommy:

What she is doing is hoping to signs of anything that might hurt you the same way she was so you won't be blindsided like she was. She thinks if she can pick up on any signs of an unfaithful spouse that she can warn you long before the situation turns into what hers did. She wants to rush to someone's aid and be the safety of someone else because she is having to be the victim right now and probably tired feeling that way. I dunno if this makes any sense to you or anyone else. She needs to know she'll recognize the signs and not be played a fool again.


shoot4thestars
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:51 PM

She probably just think she's trying to help and what happened to her may still be fresh in her mind.  I would just brush it off.

Katherine696997
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:52 PM
Quoting Rhyne:

Just brush it off, she obviously has trust issues now and probably is thinking since it happened to her, it will happen to everyone. If she gets overbearing with it, then I would say something. 



kolbiesmommy
by on Feb. 10, 2012 at 10:24 AM
The situation is similar to losing a loved one to death. Everyone is there in the beginning to show you support and help you through and they mean well, but as time goes on those people move on with their lives because they have to and it only crosses their mind occasionally. But for the person who lost...it crosses their mind everyday and they feel they're the only one who remembers. Everyone else has moved on but them. It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to ask her how she is doing, maybe get some girl time in. :-)

Quoting ChloeDolce:

I totally see your point of veiw and it does make a lot of sense.  Didn't even think of it this way.  I wasn't "mad" at her for it because I understand the situation she is.  It was more of a shake head/eye roll situation because I'm secure enough in my marriage to not let it effect me or get me frazzled.  Its not like Id even mention the convo again to her...or act differently toward her for that matter.  But your def right.  Maybe its a bit of a sign I should ask her how SHE is doing.  Even though its been 6 monthes...everyone was at her side in the beginning and then it kind of leaves our thoughts but of course not hers.   Thanks for helping me to look at it in a different way


Quoting kolbiesmommy:

What she is doing is hoping to signs of anything that might hurt you the same way she was so you won't be blindsided like she was. She thinks if she can pick up on any signs of an unfaithful spouse that she can warn you long before the situation turns into what hers did. She wants to rush to someone's aid and be the safety of someone else because she is having to be the victim right now and probably tired feeling that way. I dunno if this makes any sense to you or anyone else. She needs to know she'll recognize the signs and not be played a fool again.


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