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i dont know if i want to cry, scream or laugh....

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:17 AM
  • 8 Replies

This is a long story, so Ill keep it short as possible.

I met my big brother for the first time 8 years ago. We never knew of eachother since our father was absent out of our life. We became very involved in eachother lives after that. Hes 11 years older than I am, and me being the oldest of my Moms children, I never had a "big brother", and obviously never a dad. I was so happy to have a big  brother to protect me, and to have a relationship with.

5 years ago we decided to get a place together since he was always gone out of town or work, but needed a stable address to get visitation with his son. So we agreed Id live there to, and that Id go to college, and hed help me out, while I was helping him out.  He ended up kicking me out bc he told me I was not allowed to have company (even though everything in the house was mine, and he had nothingbut a kitchen table there). I respected that as he was helping me. My littlebrother was in town one weekend and he came by, and we sat on the porch.  No big deal. My big brother found out about it, bc I left my old phone and called me and confronted me about it, and kicked me out.

We went 4 years without talking. I have since had a son, he has never met and he hasnt seen dd since she was 3.

So he randomly messages me on facebook tonight about how he loves and misses me and asks me to call him. I called him and we talked, it was awkward, but he pretty much just kept saying he was sorry, and how we cant let this happen again. blah blah blah. I want to believe he is a different person but I just dont know. Hes just like our father, and never keeps his word, or makes everyone else to be thebad guy to get out of his promises. He has 3 sons, I have never met, and it breaks my heart. But he really has nothing to do with them either. He is almost 37 years old, andalthough I want him to be in our life, and to be in his life, I just dont know if I can let him back in. He made so many promises to DD then would never do it and disappear off the face of the earth. Luckily, she was too young to understand at that time, and it didnt traumatize her.

I just dont know what to do. So this was my vent, mean while asking for advice.

 

and he just put on his status "I love you little sister, and I never want to lose you again"

so weird. I wonder if he was drunk. He sounded a lot like my dad did when he had been drinking.

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:17 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Mommyof2n0308
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:22 AM

BUMP!

blessed.life
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:26 AM
I'm sorry.

I always say forget about the past and move on but if you think it's best to stay away just do.

Let him know your forgive him just don't get close
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Caitlin10081989
by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:27 AM

Let him back in your lives but put up boundaries to protect you and your children from ending up traumatized by him. 

Mommyof2n0308
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:34 AM

I know. I couldnt just not let him. I just feel he is so toxic. But the only way I can handle it is setting those boundaries. Its just weird is all.

kansasmom1978
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:37 AM

That's a tough one.  I would try to keep a connection, but perhaps not let your guard down.

Mommyof2n0308
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:41 AM

well the good thing is, hes 600 miles away.. so I have time to think it out. but i really hope he means what he said. hes my big brother, and has let me down so  much, it really hurt.

allornone
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:42 AM
My sister cut me out of her life about 18 years ago. She is my oldest sister. I loved and looked up to her. She did somethings and disowned us (adoptive family) and went back to her bio family.

After all these years she has tried to sneak around to be part of my life. I finally told her I am sorry I cannot allow you to be part of my life. I haven't heard from her since. There would never be enough barriers or boundaries for her.
Mommyof2n0308
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:49 AM


Quoting allornone:

My sister cut me out of her life about 18 years ago. She is my oldest sister. I loved and looked up to her. She did somethings and disowned us (adoptive family) and went back to her bio family.

After all these years she has tried to sneak around to be part of my life. I finally told her I am sorry I cannot allow you to be part of my life. I haven't heard from her since. There would never be enough barriers or boundaries for her.

yeah, he has a history of major drugs. and even though apparently hes been clean, im not sure if i can believe it. It sucks. So bad.  Having different point of views about our father doesnt help either.

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