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just seeking friendly advice

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 12:32 PM
  • 7 Replies
Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Tina and I'm new here. I heard about this site by following a link and it looks pretty active so I wanted to see if there are any moms like me or understand my situation.

I have a7 year old daughter named Taylor and 2 step sons named Michael and Nicholas, they are both 9 years old. To add onto that, I just found out my husband and I are expecting our first baby together. If my calculations are right,i should be 5 Weeks along but I will know more on Friday since I have a dr appointment that day. John and I met 5 years ago and we have been married for 3 years.

So here is the issue. Johns ex wife had been in and out of jail since we first met. I never had an issue because I didn't know much about her. She went to jail over a couple DUIs and than again over a drug charge which hadn't been her first. So you can tell that I wouldn't know much considering her background.

Well she recently got out and it was right before Christmas. She has no set visitation as of yet nor does she pay child support, that's a pending court case as of right now. Anyways, John told her to come see the boys on Christmas day, even worked out a good time to stop by. She does come but it was 2am. W are not waking the boys up at some god awful hour, only reason I was up is because I was still following my daily work schedule... I work til 11 but it takes me 30 minutes to get home and I still have to unwind afterwards.

So we don't great from her for about week and she shows up at our house again high as a kite.John warns her if she doesn't leave, he would call the cops. She leaves peacefully, but stats calling johns phone repeatedly late at night, one time she did leave a message and she sounded drunk but that doesn't bother me.

Fast forward to beginning of this month. She has continued to call John all hours of the night and for the last week has shown up 4 times, all if which were past midnight to see the boys. Well about an hour ago,i get a call from my dad, he manages the bar right down the street and he described this woman going on and on about how some bitch was keeping her from her husband and kids and she was taking it to court to get full custody of her kids.

Now my question is, does she have a leg to stand on? Nobody is keeping her from John or the kids but nobody its going to let her in that late at night either.John has made several attempts for her to come see the boys but she never shows up...any advice would be appreciated.if you need more info,i would be happy to provide it. I will be at work soon but will answer every break I get.
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 12:32 PM
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by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 12:34 PM

visitation is always reasonably set. showing up at strange late hours is not reasonable and no court would expect you two to wake up growing children at those hours. She has absolutely no leg to stand on here at all. 

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 12:35 PM
Let me reiterate the Bar part. That happened last night, not today
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 12:35 PM

 no, she does not have  leg to stand on

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:34 PM
She sounds crazy! I would get a protection order if she keeps showing up at night. Good luck mama!
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by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:39 PM

I dont think she has a leg to stand on with her history. Keep documentation of everything.

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:43 PM

I think your husband has a very good case in keeping full custody of the children since you can provide them more of a healthy stable household than someone who has been in and out of jail inthe last few years.Not to mention the boys have been already living full time in thehome.

Even if she made a case that she wasn't allowed to see the kids it wouldn't really count against you guys - because you are not disobeying a court order.

You need a lawyer you need full custody with supervised visitations.

Good luck

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 2:52 PM

If she is going to see her boys, it needs to be supervised visits ONLY.  The only reason she is coming by at all hours of the night is b/c the bar closed and she can't drink anymore.  This boys don't need that crap AT ALL and no one in their right mind would give her custody, even here in Texas where they seem to always favor the mom in custody cases. 

Document every single time she stops by and what time it was, dates, how she was acting, etc.  And have husband save call history and messages from her.  Or record the conversations when he talks to he on the phone.  This way you can insure you will get supervised visits from her, if any. 

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