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IS MY SISTER USING ME?!?!?!?!?

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:09 PM
  • 21 Replies

 ok to make a long story short i dont have much family who lives in atlanta...It's just me( my SO and Kids), my dad, sister and brother...My sister has 3 beautiful daughters that i love but are a handful...and I have a daughter and a son with a tie breaker on the way(6 months preggo)...My dad and brother arent that reliable when it comes to babysitting because they have sush busy schedules...Every time my sister of i need a babysitter we ask each other...

Here is the problem...my sister asks me to babysit when she is trying to go out shopping (clothes or food), hang out with friends and all these other none important things that i just dont understand why she cant take them...I only ask her if my SO is working and I have something really important to do (go to school library, my ob/gyn appointments, etc)...

Her daughters are 9, 8, and 4...My daughter is 5 and my son will be 2 in may...My sister doesnt know how stressed out I am from my own everyday life because I am not a complainer and I dont feel comfortable sharing sensitive information with her because she is known for blurting it out in front of everybody when I do one thing that she doesnt like( it could be as small as me telling her 4 year old daughter not to ask my 5 yr old for her snack because she had her own and ate it all)

She doesnt know that i was seeing a therapist to help me out with my depression after I had my son but I no longer see her because it's like I really dont have time to see her once a week and all the other important things I have to do. So basically I NEVER have any me time expect after my kids are sleep and I am usually sleep and half hour later...

SN: I really dont like SO family so I dont ask them for any favors...they only see my kids during the holiday...

What should i do???

Please no bashing and only comment if you have positive useful advice

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell her you are currently overwhelmed with everything in your life going on (you dont have to give any details) and that for the everyday things, please try to take your own children with you.  I am available for any doctor appointments or other major events.

We dont have any family here so DD goes practically everywhere with us.  We do get her brother to babysit sometimes if she is sick or sleeping and we need to get to an appointment.  Luckily mom was here during parent-teacher conferences so she watched DD during that.

masonsmommy107
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:16 PM
Tell her you can't when she asks and find a new sitter or have the kids come with you every were
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slinkerpon11
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:21 PM
I have found that family never realizes they are using you. And when you confront them it always ends in the "well I do this for you, I did that for you" and the more you do the more they just think you will with out considering how it affects your life. My sister just assumes that because I'm a sahm mom I can take her kids at the drop of a hat and do her laundry while she gone. One of those "you know I really need your help, I don't have anyone else" and she's the worst about returning the favor or saying thank you. And her children are wild. She does the same with the rest of the family too. Only calls my grandma, who's retired and on a fixed income, when she needs money. But my sis is just entitled and a bitch. Love her though. I just told her I can't do it anymore.
samirahk
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:29 PM

 wow she sounds just like my sister and I am a sahm also thats why she thinks she can always count on me...she doesnt know that i am not a sahm because i want to be i am one because it makes more sense financially for us now...I feel like I cant do for my own kids without her expecting the same treatment...I love my nieces but my kids come before anyone...She is spoiled and she always complains that no one takes her kids for the weekends...I always think maybe i would consider it if you didnt use me all week to non important things...she doesnt once offer to watch my kids when I mention me and SO going on a date that our kids are always included in

Quoting slinkerpon11:

I have found that family never realizes they are using you. And when you confront them it always ends in the "well I do this for you, I did that for you" and the more you do the more they just think you will with out considering how it affects your life. My sister just assumes that because I'm a sahm mom I can take her kids at the drop of a hat and do her laundry while she gone. One of those "you know I really need your help, I don't have anyone else" and she's the worst about returning the favor or saying thank you. And her children are wild. She does the same with the rest of the family too. Only calls my grandma, who's retired and on a fixed income, when she needs money. But my sis is just entitled and a bitch. Love her though. I just told her I can't do it anymore.

 

Caitlin10081989
by Ruby Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:38 PM

Feel free to say no that you can not babysit her children while she goes out to do a unimportant activity. 

Benjamins-mama
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:39 PM

just tell her how you are feeling.  she can't read your mind.  I don't get why some women get upset at sometime a person does and then complains that they keep doing things to upset them and yet they never tell this person that it bothers them.      theres a saying that I like   don't complain about things if you aren't willing to change it

amomynous_j
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:41 PM

use the word "no"

and there's no reason you can't ask her to take the kids more often, if you feel you need a break! =)

teri4lance
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:42 PM
Yup


Quoting Caitlin10081989:

Feel free to say no that you can not babysit her children while she goes out to do a unimportant activity. 


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sondamom0828
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:44 PM

Maybe you can tell her that it is too much right now with you being pregnant and all.  Tell her unless it is important (school, work, doctor appts, be specific) you can't watch them. 

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:45 PM

Just Say NO ! you don't always have to be available.

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