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Can I try this again?

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:17 PM
  • 40 Replies

I'm new here, and my first post got me some really rude responses. I think I gave way too much info, and confused everybody, although I still don't know why people felt the need to be rude. :(

So... my husband and I have been together for almost 15 years. We have a 4 year old daughter and a soon-to-be 3 year old son. We thought we were done, but we've recently been talking about having a third. I am wanting one so badly, and want to just go for it.

The problem is that we're living in a very small 2 bedroom house right now. We are choosing to live here because it is a great deal (half the going rate here) and the schools are excellent. I'm a teacher, and want my kids to have the best education possible. We are planning to save up money to buy a home of our own in 3 years, and this still should be possible even if we have the third. But in the meantime, we'll all be in this tiny space.

Basically, we're trying to live below our means so we can have a better future. Do I simply give up on having a bigger family (which we both want) because we'll be in a small home for the next several years? I don't want my kids to be too far apart, so I'm not willing to have one after another year or so from now.

What are your thoughts? Please, if you feel the need to be rude, just don't post.

ETA:

Ok, there are obviously just a lot of judgemental, rude, and immature people here. Since you seem to insist on bashing me and saying I'm hiding things, changing my story, etc, I will elaborate.

My husband and I were separated for 6 months, and got back together a year ago. We have been to therapy, and things are now going well.

I did suffer from depression after my children were born, but I also had a miscarriage, lost my father and my mother-in-law, and was having financial difficulties. I think the fact that I suffered from depression is actually not at all surprising.

We are filing for bankruptcy because we own a home we cannot live in. We tried to negotiate with the bank, through both a realtor and a lawyer, but the bank would not cooperate. We had an offer on the house for 10,000 more than market value (although 40,000 more than we owed) and the bank would not even consider it. Bankruptcy will give us a fresh start, and allow my children to have a brighter future. We tried every other option. There are many, many people in the same situation as us right now, in this economy.

We will be able to afford a third baby. I am not working, but my husband makes enough money to support us all, and to continue saving for a new home.

I don't understand why people need to get their excitement out of arguing with people on here. It's kind of sad, actually.

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cLanief
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:18 PM
You already got the answer. You wont find any good replies.
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xo.MommyW.xo
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:18 PM
The size of my house wouldn't dictate that
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Mandiii04
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:19 PM
1 mom liked this

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ColtsFan1912
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:19 PM

I would wait until you get your own place.

incognito116
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Honesty doesn't always mean rude. That's this group though, people will tell it like it is.
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_WC_Mama
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:19 PM


Quoting cLanief:

You already got the answer. You wont find any good replies.



nancym3
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:19 PM
I think you would be crazy to have another child. My opinion is the same.
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MsDean
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:20 PM

 Why are you filing bancruptsy?

Do you not pay your bills?

You are obviously just looking for approval which anyone with common sense will not give someone in your situation.

 

welcome to cafemom

ColtsFan1912
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:21 PM
1 mom liked this

oh wait now i realize i read your other post.

So. . .you didn't like the answers you were getting, deleted, & reposted leaving out info to try & get answers you'd like? ha thats funny

mizhoward
by Silver Member on Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:21 PM
Not sure what to say, it is pretty much up to you and your dh.
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