Tips on how to handle a bratty tween??? *edited for clarification*
My 8 yr old is a brat.
I know she is, and a large part of it is how my mother in law deals with her.Another large part of the problem is her age. After throwing a tea party for her and her friends, they let her sleep over. (it was a birthday party) Well my MIL cannot not go shopping. Apparently dd asked where her present was, MIL bought her one, instead of explaining that she got a fancy tea party, they rented a car, bought dresses for her friends, etc. ( yes they rented a car, rented a bed and breakfast, bought dresses for her three friends, held a mini spa in their living room, etc. This is where my daughter gets her entitlement from)
She is disrespectful, rolls her eyes, slams doors etc. She cannot express her anger in a proper fashion, she throws things, stomps, is generally irresponsible ( she lost her glasses and is constantly misplacing things)
We have changed her routine starting today, after yesterday's blow up due to her not wanting to do her work.
But I need advice on how to help her change her behavior, especially before my three year old starts mimicking his big sis!
By " a large part" I mean she helps perpetuate this attitude.
We tell her time and time again, if she asks for something, or feels entitled to it, say no. Do not let her manipulate you into buying it for you.
We do punish her, but our punishments do not seem to phase her. We have tried everything for taking things away, being grounded to her empty room, we have even tried writing sentences over and over again.
I am looking for other ideas because it recently has gotten worse. I am not passing the blame, so much as complaining about how they constantly undermine our rules simply because they are grandma and auntie and they feel it is their job to spoil her.
Mommy of FOUR!!
Tara ~ 12.16.03 Zachary ~ 5.17.05 Rowan ~ 1.17.09 Willow ~ 8/10/11
AAAAARRRGGHHH 8yo's!!!!!!! Going through the same thing with my own who has a 6yo sis to help her out. They are currently grounded from all their toys and picking out thier clothes because of issues we've had. They have to earn them all back through chores and accomplishments (acing spelling tests and what not). That's all I got though. They are driving me crazy to the point of breaking. Asked dh if we could hire a nanny cause I feel like I'm doing such a shitty job lately. I'm hoping its a phase.
Uggggg
I have no clue!!
I would strip down the room to a bed and a dresser and let her earn things back with good behavior. Take away extra curriculars, mil has to be on board as well if she sees her often. Consistency and stick to your guns.
You'll probably be the meanest mommy ever and she may dislike what you are doing but in the end it'll be worth it. Good luck.
Honestly, one person does not create a brat. It's the environment. If my daughter is being bratty she gets put in time out. We don't allow it.
Time to get tough. If your mother in law won't get on board then she is out until you can get your daughter under control. Take away every privilege and 'extra' that she has.....tv, phone, sleepovers, play dates...everything. She goes to school and she comes home and that is it. Remove everything from her room except her bed (and bedding, but make it simple....no fancy character stuff) and her dresser. Put one days worth of clothing per day in there for her, you choose not her. Let her earn things back as others have stated through chores and good behavior. She needs to learn how to earn things and that they are privileges, not rights.
But, in the mornings she is to get up, get dressed, make her bed, come down stairs and brush her hair, eat breakfast, brush her teeth, and sit at the kitchen table and read until the bus comes for school. After school she is to come home, do her homework, and when she's done, dh marked out an "x" in tape on our computer room floor that she is to stand on with her hands at her sides until he or I tell her what to do next.
She has many more chores than she ever used to...she does laundry (helps me with it), dishes, sweeping, dusting, cleaning the toilet (nothing with bleach cause we don't feel she's old enough yet) so she doesn't do the bathroom counters or shower...but she has lost everything fun for awhile. She is also to address her elders (him, me, her mom and her step dad) as sir and maam from now on because she needs to learn respect. If she mouths off or whines or gets an attitude about anything? She's doing pushups like my son has to in karate. So far, it seems to be working. Good luck. Maybe we can keep in touch and give each other ideas if you like ours!
i was going to say no more sleep overs at grandma's if that's how she's going to act. also as another poster said. i'd take things away and make her earn them back.
What is your greatest accomplishment? UPDATE
- mommaoftwo
on Feb. 14, 2012 at 10:07 AM