OK I need opinions desperately. My son is about to be 10 (on Thursday) in the 4th grade. He is really struggling in school. He is well behaved, he just has no ambition, motivation, doesn't finish his class work, doesn't finish his homework (he makes it seem like hes done at home but hes not.) I had a talk with his teacher today and she said he was really bad today no focus at all. I know a lot of it is my fault I am too easy on him. I barely ever punish him, I just mostly yell that's about it. So after the talk with his teacher today I am very upset. I told him no video games for 2 weeks and I mean it. My husband is saying no TV either to me that seems excessive but like I said I tend to be too easy on him so I figured I would get other opinions. Another thing his birthday is on Thursday should I let him off his punishment for his bday or too bad so sad? I need some reassurance.
has he always had trouble focusing, doing his work? if so does he need extra help ? Does he have a learning problem ?
I would lift the grounding on his birthday.
tough one. however he likely needs this lesson ground home ya know? I do not think that the no TV with no video games is too harsh at all. He needs to be buckling down on what is important. He is old enough to understand the consequences of his actions. Maybe losing some priveledges on his birthday will help him see the light
Hi Momma - My name is Lyn and I too am an enabler.
I am also too soft on my son - and i found a method of handling him while instilling in him the drive to do better.
Reward system.
Merely grounding him from his activities and enjoyments makes him miserable. and you are more likely to give in - or not give a harsh enough punishment.
Instead make the entire school year a reward system.
For every 15 minutes of homework, whether its written or study - he can earn on half hour of activity - such as computer, cell phone, tv or going out with friends (etc)
He will find his own motivation in wanting to do his assignments to earn time doing those things.
If in school is also an issue - try to set up some type of check system with the teacher to sign off on his school work - and give him say - an hour of time for each day he completes all school assignments .. the hour of course to only be used after his homework etc is completed.
Quoting LilGina:He has always had trouble its just more noticeable now cause the school work is getting harder.
Quoting lucky2Beeme:has he always had trouble focusing, doing his work? if so does he need extra help ? Does he have a learning problem ?
I would lift the grounding on his birthday.
I think I would start with his pediatrician, see if they feel he should be tested and go from there. It would be awful if he has a learning disability and is being punished for things he doesn't know how to control. Yet it would give you a yes or no as to whats going on. I say go easy on him. Help him with his homework.Make sure you know what his assignment is and then check to make sure he has completed it.
Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.
The school tested him for LD but they said he was average no LDing. They run in my family so I thought for sure they would find something but they said hes fine. Which sucks because he doesn't qualify for any help now. I almost wish they would have found something.
Quoting lucky2Beeme:
Quoting LilGina:He has always had trouble its just more noticeable now cause the school work is getting harder.
Quoting lucky2Beeme:has he always had trouble focusing, doing his work? if so does he need extra help ? Does he have a learning problem ?
I would lift the grounding on his birthday.
I think I would start with his pediatrician, see if they feel he should be tested and go from there. It would be awful if he has a learning disability and is being punished for things he doesn't know how to control. Yet it would give you a yes or no as to whats going on. I say go easy on him. Help him with his homework.Make sure you know what his assignment is and then check to make sure he has completed it.
Go idea I may start that after the 2 weeks I already told him so I have to follow through
Quoting FooLynRoo:Hi Momma - My name is Lyn and I too am an enabler.
I am also too soft on my son - and i found a method of handling him while instilling in him the drive to do better.
Reward system.
Merely grounding him from his activities and enjoyments makes him miserable. and you are more likely to give in - or not give a harsh enough punishment.
Instead make the entire school year a reward system.
For every 15 minutes of homework, whether its written or study - he can earn on half hour of activity - such as computer, cell phone, tv or going out with friends (etc)
He will find his own motivation in wanting to do his assignments to earn time doing those things.
If in school is also an issue - try to set up some type of check system with the teacher to sign off on his school work - and give him say - an hour of time for each day he completes all school assignments .. the hour of course to only be used after his homework etc is completed.
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- LilGina
on Feb. 14, 2012 at 7:59 PM