I am so sick and damn tired of busting my ass and getting absolutely NO appareciation and recognition in return!
Now, I am a logical person. I am reasonable. I understand limitations. I also understand when someone is just using their condition as a motherfucking crutch to not do a damn thing!
SO and I have been somewhat fighting the last couple of days. Reason? I told him I can't marry him. Why? Well, let's see. Probably because I am sick and tired of hearing about all the nice and wonderful things he has done for the previous women in his life and I get shit. Examples:
"I am always the one to buy the girl flowers. I love that you always buy me roses." I know he loves them, and I have never gotten ANY flowers from him in return. We have been together a year. Not even when I birthed our daughter. I got a bouqet two weeks later because he felt bad that he "forgot". Forgot my ass. I reminded you. Asshat!
"I used to love dressing up and going out on fancy dates." Well, gee. Isn't that nice. We have NEVER been out on a date. Not even when we were back home with ample babysitting and a shit ton more money than we have now. Thanks dear, way to make me feel special.
"I proposed to my ex wife all movie quality." And I got asked while laying on a damn couch. I didn't care he didn't have a ring, he was broke at the time. But, come ON, she cheated on you with two different men from craigslist, and got the walk in the park and you going down on one knee in the snow and I didn't even get a damn knee. WTF???
Oh, but I am the one you "Love the Most". Then, when we are arguing, you tell me you only asked me at that time because I told you to. Um, asshole, I know how insecure you are. I didn't "tell you to". That was not my intention. We were on the subject and I said, "Well, if you ask me, just know that the answer will be positive." How is that TELLING you? I was just trying to let you know you were not going to be rejected. Oh, and then you had to top it off and tell me, in the same damn argument, that you meant the proposal, "AT THE TIME!" So, what? You haven't meant it since then? Well, in that case, proposal null and void, asshole. Since I am not special enough for you to watch your fucking mouth in the middle of an argument, you can just kiss my redheaded, celtic ass! Fun Fact: That argument was over me not wanting him to buy me a new cell phone because he has a nasty little habit of breaking mine.
Oh, and way to make me feel good by pointing out how many times I have been married. "Well, I am the THIRD hapless bastard you have roped into marrying you!" Um, get fucked. I know how many times I have been married, jackoff. I was there. And may I add, the number of husbands I have is in direct corrolation to the number of fathers of my children. I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't rope them into marrying my ass either. And who is the asshole who ASKED to marry me? Knowing he would be husband number three? Well, since that is how you feel about it, let's just break the goddamn cycle, and NOT get fucking married. How do you like THEM apples?
Oh, you don't like them apples. You think I don't love you just because I won't marry you. Well, let me just say this about that. FUCK OFF. YOU are the one who spews this shit any time he doesn't get what he wants, or who likes to make me feel like crap anytime I don't have my tongue up your ass, so get bent. If you were not going to do anything nice for me ever, then you never should have told me what you did for the others. That was fucking cruel! I am NOT high maintanence. Never have been. One lousy fucking flower. That's all it would have taken to make me happy. Or even just not being an asshole. I am just saying.
And while I am over here dealing with this shit, and putting my all into this relationship, I get repeatedly accused of cheating on you. WHAT THE FUCK!!! We spend 24 hours a fucking day together. When in the HELL do I have time to cheat on you? And why would I want to? And no, I know you are not cheating on me. But at this point, that is pretty much the ONLY thing you haven't done. SPAM EMAILS ARE NOT EVIDENCE OF FUCKING CHEATING!!! That is why they are in the folder marked SPAM! Knock it off!
I run around yesterday, on foot, making sure your daughter's flowers get to school so she knows her daddy cares about her because her psycho mom won't let you see her, and I can't even get you walking down to the grocery store to buy me a cheap ass $3 rose. WTF???? I am so over this shit. THAT is why I won't marry you asshole.
Yes, he has his good qualities. I just needed to vent. At this point, I could care less what anyone says. I am too damn tired to care. Oh, and his "condition" is Bipolar II.
Honestly I couldn't even read half of that. But hugs and good luck!!
I agree... If you cant deal with all of him... Dont sign a piece of paper...
He sounds like a pathological liar about all the stuff he "did".
Quoting Mom2Boys9501:
why are you with someone like that?
I married someone that didn't do things for me and now after being together 10 years, I'm unhappy. You can't marry someone expecting them to change. Demand more for yourself. Trust me.
Hugs. I have been there and done that. DO NOT marry him. You deserve someone who will put you first and and someone who is willing put effort into the relationship. He won't change. Being bipolar is not a valid excuse for bad behavior. He either cares or doesn't. I wish you the best.
Dear GOD, please do NOT marry that man. You will NEVER be happy. I say RUN woman, RUN like hell....You can find better! He sounds like a lazy, no good, dirty bag, who deserve to be alone. Don't settle for less when you can have more. He may some good things about him, but what you just wrote, I assume his bad qualities out weigh his good.
What is your greatest accomplishment? UPDATE
- kagegirl
on Feb. 15, 2012 at 7:44 AM