Now you tell me!

[Kageegirl]

I feel bad for dh. Last night I asked dh how his valentine's day was and he said it was almost perfect. I said why just "almost" perfect. I asked, " what more could you want?" He replied with, "a baby." I was shocked. Took a second and collected my thoughts. I told him that us together can't have a baby, remember? In April of 2011 dh had a vasectomy about 2 weeks after the miscarriage of our 4th baby. I remember trying to talk him out of it, but he wasn't in a place to listen. He was rushing an irrational decision based on hurt feelings. To him it was his way of coping with the loss by preventing anymore children. For awhile after he had it done I was very upset. I wanted another baby and he took that right away from me. Since him having it done I have excepted the idea of not having more children. I have a 6 year old, a 5 year old and an 18 month old. A year from now our youngest will be potty trained, both our older two boys will be in school full time, dh and I will have more us time and by the time I am 43 my boys will all be graduated and out of the house. Another baby would mean midnight feedings, diaper changes, rash cream, diaper bags, infant carseats and bottles. I tried to explain all this to dh to help him except his decision as well. You could tell he wasn't being so excepting of it. He said,"you never know. We just have to have sex everytime you ovulate and hope the vasectomy didn't take." I was shocked that after all my reasoning for not having another baby he still wanted one. Knowing he feels this way makes me a little sad. I'm okay with not having another baby, but I can't help but sympathize with dh because I felt that way for about 3 months after he had it done. What can I say, what can I do, how do I comfort him?

[kansasmom1978]

Vasectomies can be reversed.  But if you don't want another baby you need to tell him that. And listen to him.  Communication is key.