How do you....?

[J_andrews8081]

I know there are a lot of single and remarried moms here, so I hope I'll get some honest perspective. I have always been super into my kids feeling secure. I know, we all are, but I worried the most about their lives being split and their parents remarrying. Things have gone well the last couple of years, but now my oldest son complains about his time with Dad. He doesn't like that he's been told to call his step-mom "mommy INSERTNAMEHERE" and her family has names he MUST use while he's there for them. His dad is working weekends when he tells me he isn't and DS is left with step-mom and her family all weekend that he's there. He doesn't see his dad's mom and dad at all lately, and his step-cousin bullies him a  LOT (cousin was adopted at 4 from an abusive teenage mom). He says it's a waste of his time, because no one will get one on one with him and play or learn. He is used to learning for fun, practicing words by "writing books", and no one will help him spell, or even play a card game with him. He says it makes him "down" when he has to go to bed without a book and a snuggle. DS is lactose intolerant and his dad gives him milk "because he always has, and Mom is a nut" and now my son is sneaking water (and wasting milk) and refuses to go #2 at his dad's house. He's lost his security there, and now it's an issue for me. Thoughts?

[kristyann]

 How old is your son? Do you have a good enough relationship with your ex to just have an honest talk with him about how your son is feeling? I feel like that would be the best way to approach this situation

[J_andrews8081]

He is almost 7, in his opinion. Birthday in June. I have spoken to my ex, and we have a weird relationship. We're careful with each other and have different ways of being so. I speak carefully to him like a child, and he lies to me. It's been that way since we met in 10th grade. If I call him on these lies he feels guilty and focuses on the guilt, not the problem at hand. His wife refuses to speak to me. She is younger than me and watches lots of Teen Mom. She thinks we're still in love because we're kind to each other. This is the cycle for the last few months, and is mostly why im posting here. I feel I've done all the talking and expressing concern I can.