Would you ground your teen indefinitely for this?

[1boy1girlmama]

My stepson (15) got caught making out with his girlfriend in the basement while watching a movie. He had her shirt unbuttoned and was feeling her up. His mom freaked (as I probably would) and she took away his phone, video games, ect. and he is grounded indefinetly until she can 'trust him again'.  She did not talk to him about why it's not ok or any of that just freaked and grounded him.

He called DH and told him about and they talked about how that was inappropriate and the consequences of sex and all that. SS says his mom refuses to talk to him about that stuff (which DH says is probably true because she has never been able to talk about it) but Dh is very open with him. Dh was a teen when SS was born, and dosen't want to see SS go down that road. It sounds like they had a good conversation.

DH disagrees with the ex that SS should be grounded. Maybe for a week but not indefintely. Of course he did NOT tell SS this as they need to have a united front. 

Anyway, opinions? Would you ground them for that, would you talk to them?

[ffpm10]

I would talk to him and if he thinks he's old enough and mature enough for sex (and possibly a baby), so be it at that age.

[missamanda86]

I would ground him for a week, and then make the stipulation that they couldnt be unsupervised until I felt I could trust him again, but i would also try to talk to him about sex (i had my first child VERY young)

[mistie900]

No I would not. I agree with your husband.

[art.diva]

Teenagers are horny, so they need to know exactly what can happen if they decide to have sex. Its good she had the opportunity to catch him, but she wasted it by not using it as a learning experience. And no, he should not be grounded indefinitely.

[th78]

I wouldn't ground my child for that at all, especially indefinitely. I would talk to him/her about the situation.

[AngieDawn28]

Someone needs to have the talk with him. I wouldn't ground him, especially indefinetly, but his gf wouldn't be coming over for a while and they wouldn't be left unsupervised.

[ff-princess]

I would ground him - for disrespecting me and my home.  no 15 year old needs to be participating in any sexual activity in my house, and it's well-known.  even when they're adults they won't be sharing sleeping arrangements with a boyfriend or girlfriend under my roof.  it's just tasteless.

I would also have sat down and reinforced what I had already taught them about sex education:  STD's, pregnancy prevention, feelings and emotions that go along with the act, the adult responsibility you take on when you make adult decisions.  it sure wouldn't be the first discussion I'd had with them; I taught my son at the age of 10 how to use a condom, and sex has never been a topic I've shied from.  hell, I got all my sex ed from school and friends and was woefully ignorant of reality.  I won't allow that to happen to my children.

[happinessforyou]

What purpose does "indefinite" punishment have? If a kid can't earn their way out, will they just give up?

Sounds like those kids should never be left alone, or they will most likely have sex. That's not good for anyone! :(

[emeraldangel20]

that's not an indefinitely situation. they're teenagers, they're horny, leaving them unsupervised in the basement is going to result in that. she has no one to blame but her own stupid self.

[ProudMom9799]

 I agree with your DH. I think the punishment needs a set time frame (i hate indef punishment crap - doesnt solve anything). maybe mom needs to set some ground rules with ss and his gf - like they have to stay where she can see them. ignoring the fact that he is at the age where teens get into sex isnt going to make it go away - neither will grounding him for life. good luck =)