Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Apparently giving birth is selfish

Posted by   + Show Post

So I went to a business dinner with my husband that included a few men from his firm and their wives/so to welcome a new partner.  Since I'd never met the new guys wife before myself and some others were making polite conversation and i asked if she had any children.  She replied they had 2 daughters from China and a son from Russia, she showed us a picture from her purse and told us a bit about them.  I mentioned that they were adorable and that my aunt also had a daughter from China, because she couldn't conceive (i was not insinuating that was her issue at al) She said "ohh no no no. I'm fully fertile.  We just feel with so many homeless, starving children in the world it is just very selfish to have children.  There are too many that need good homes and yet people just keep bringing more children in to a world of limited resources.  Its just awful" At this point every person at the table kind of silenced.  Her husband tried to kin of smooth it over and turned it a little sayig like Oh she means you know more people keep having kids they can't care for its so sad.  She cut him right off and said "no I mean no one in general should be creating children when there are so many out there that need help.It's just so selfish and it's so egotistical how people think they have to mark their territory on the world by planting their seed" AWKWARD! 

Listen I get what she is saying and I think adoption is wonderful..but who the hell says having your own kids is selfish and egotistical? Sorry bitch but we have 2 gorgeous children we made and raise and are working on #3..if that makes me a selfish, egotistical resource waster so be it! lol

Her husband who is technically one of my husband's bosses approached everyone  today who was there and personally apologized and said he had hoped his wifes comments did not offend anyone.  My husband of course said no problem at all...but you can bet they all think this chick is a crazy bitch. 

by on Feb. 16, 2012 at 10:07 PM
Replies (191-200):
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:08 PM
3 moms liked this answer to here is what is wrong with adopting AMERICAN kids? There are so MANY in foster care that need love & affection too... but yeah...I know people like that crazy chick!  I love my DD but she was a happy accident actually! I was in the middle of college and switched BC...we are happy to have her but you know...the intention wasn't to claim and evolutionary territory lol. 

by Tamara on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:11 PM
2 moms liked this
No, Angelina had her selfish moments too

Quoting ChloeDolce:

Quoting Mrs.VanDeKamp:

She just wants to be the next angelina jolie lol

LMAO That is what one of the other women said too!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:20 PM
3 moms liked this

I agree that woman is crazy and that was a very rude thing for her to say, but I'm also appalled at the amount of people opposed to international adoption on here. Research Eastern European orphanages before putting someone down for not adopting within country. Don't get me wrong, that's very noble as well and the kids in our foster system are in need of homes. But living in a Russian orphanage is pure hell. Going through the long and expensive process of adopting a child there should be looked up to, not bashed because the child isn't American. Those kids desperately need homes.

Seriously if you're opposed to it please look up what those kids go through. I did a research project on Eastern European orphanges in one of my psychology classes. They're awful.

by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:21 PM

Quoting Fields456:

Wow is all I have to say too

by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:24 PM
I kind of agree with her. But I don't think it's a bad thing. I think it is a little selfish and egotistical but selfish and egotistical in a good way. I can't really explain it lol. But I don't see being selfish like this as wrong or bad.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:25 PM

Oh My how totally Ignorant reasoning. :p

by Ruby Member on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:27 PM

In response to her what about the many woman who can not give birth to a child who would love to while she can give birth to a child and makes the choice not to. 

by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:31 PM

I agree with you. I understand what she is is saying with kids out there not having homes or being loved.  but that doesnt mean people can not have kids of there own.

by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I get what your saying and agree with it.  I'm sorry you had to go through all you did.  I'm so tired of people trying to save other countries too.  Whether they're donating money or adopting, how about we try to save our country first.  Babies are beautiful and wonderful no matter where they came from, but help your own country first.

Quoting thehickinhickor:

NEVER SAID THEY WHERE MORE SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i said again we need to care for our own first and many more are then you would think and adopting is not easy at allll if all you keep getting from what i am saying is only kids here are kids then it's really said and i can see why my SO THAT WAS VERY ABOPTABLE NEVER GOT A FAMILY cuz it was too hard but people can fly to another country and wait yrs to get an okay from that government to get a child when it would take just as long here i am done with this i cannot talk to someone that only wants to put words in my mouth ! i was also a very adoptable teen no one would even give me the time of day to look at me as someone they would want to adopted because of my age and they where able to find out my history i was put threw hell for yrs and abused in foster care

Quoting matofour:

It doesn't matter where a child is from, a child in need is a child in need.
American children are. I more special than chikdren from other countries, just because they were born in america.
And, adopting from foster care is NOT an easy process. MOST children in foster care ate not even adoptable.

Quoting thehickinhickor:

yes i know that but why bring more here when soooo many are in need here she just adding to it like the people that give birth i never said a child was not a child! just because the child come from a norther place just think people really need to stop and take a good look around here and not around the world we could help more if we took care of our self first maybe if you saw the things i have in foster care you and other may understand more !

Quoting matofour:

A child is a child, no matter where they are from.

Quoting thehickinhickor:

everyone seems to be so busy wanting to save the kids in other countries only to the children here for gotten and then they bitch they we have so much crime and violence when they tell the person back story it's sometimes so sad as a foster kid myself and my SO living in a group home from the age of 6-18 i have seen really good kids go bad from not feeling love and wanted i really wish people like her would see that i know kids and other countries need a loving home too to but to me it's even more selfish to bring kids here when so many here need people like her just as much or maybe more

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers         Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:35 PM

That is one stupid, opionated, judgemental bitch! Fuck her! I wonder how many times her husband will have to sheepishly apologize for her opinionated rants before he gets fed up with her as well. She's egotistical for having to be such an arrogant blow hard center of attention about her opinions, selfish for embarrassing her husband and offending other people so that he has to apologize for her. Last but not least, she's wasting a resource if she's perfectly able to have children, but doesn't want to, but won't even donate her eggs, so many women who are ttc and may need donated eggs, could have a chance because of how she feels. On a personal note, My DH and I have been ttc for a year and a half with no luck yet (I received my order of FertilAid this month, so please wish us babydust), and I'm sad and worried about how much fertility treatments cost. Then, I hear about this bitch. Like you said, (they all probably said no problem just to be nice because they know he's probably embarrassed to death, and because he's their boss) they all probably think she's a crazy bitch. She's going to alienate and drive away so many many people, her husband's not going to be able to take her anywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if their marriage didn't last because of her mouth if she keeps it up. 


in love 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)