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The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Apparently giving birth is selfish

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So I went to a business dinner with my husband that included a few men from his firm and their wives/so to welcome a new partner.  Since I'd never met the new guys wife before myself and some others were making polite conversation and i asked if she had any children.  She replied they had 2 daughters from China and a son from Russia, she showed us a picture from her purse and told us a bit about them.  I mentioned that they were adorable and that my aunt also had a daughter from China, because she couldn't conceive (i was not insinuating that was her issue at al) She said "ohh no no no. I'm fully fertile.  We just feel with so many homeless, starving children in the world it is just very selfish to have children.  There are too many that need good homes and yet people just keep bringing more children in to a world of limited resources.  Its just awful" At this point every person at the table kind of silenced.  Her husband tried to kin of smooth it over and turned it a little sayig like Oh she means you know more people keep having kids they can't care for its so sad.  She cut him right off and said "no I mean no one in general should be creating children when there are so many out there that need help.It's just so selfish and it's so egotistical how people think they have to mark their territory on the world by planting their seed" AWKWARD! 

Listen I get what she is saying and I think adoption is wonderful..but who the hell says having your own kids is selfish and egotistical? Sorry bitch but we have 2 gorgeous children we made and raise and are working on #3..if that makes me a selfish, egotistical resource waster so be it! lol

Her husband who is technically one of my husband's bosses approached everyone  today who was there and personally apologized and said he had hoped his wifes comments did not offend anyone.  My husband of course said no problem at all...but you can bet they all think this chick is a crazy bitch. 

by on Feb. 16, 2012 at 10:07 PM
Replies (211-220):
aritoyh
by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:14 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree with her. That said, I am selfish in that aspect and it doesn't bother me to admit it.

tyheamma
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I'll accept her opinion when she starts adopting disabled children who need 24/7 care.
MamaLadyBug1
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:30 PM

Wow. I would've excused myself before I said anything bad, lol.

CafeMom Tickers

Single working mom to two little girls! 

Alexsmom5
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:32 PM

LMAO, your  reaction is hilarious, "sorry bitch" LOL  

PinkieRed
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:33 PM
3 moms liked this

Wow! You could have countered that it's selfish for Americans to adopt kids from China and Russia, when there's so many American children languishing in foster homes or orphanages, not getting adopted. And anyway, what if HER mom and dad had decided it would be selfish to have their own offspring, and had chosen to adopt instead? Then SHE herself would never have been born!

KickButtMama
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:33 PM

 I can see where she is coming from. It would be nice if there were enough homes willing to take in adopted/foster kids that none had to be family-less. I don't think having your own children is selfish (obviously, as I have my own). So maybe she was trying to seem cool or something by blowing her opinion up a bit? IDK I think it's a stupid thing to say, but I can kinda understand what she was saying.

torttia
by Gold Member on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:34 PM

Wow...not everyone can fork out the 40k or more to adopt...what a bitch lol.

gabby06
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:38 PM

Lol way to go for her for embarrassing her dh.

bozobean
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:41 PM

We're ttc, but if it turns out we can't, I would love to adopt.

Quoting Supervane:

I dont think its selfish to have children if you can.... But I do wish more people would open their hearts to adoption.


in love 

mum23beauties
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 4:42 PM

well, in that case I am right there on the selfish front. 3 times over!

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