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Apparently giving birth is selfish

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So I went to a business dinner with my husband that included a few men from his firm and their wives/so to welcome a new partner.  Since I'd never met the new guys wife before myself and some others were making polite conversation and i asked if she had any children.  She replied they had 2 daughters from China and a son from Russia, she showed us a picture from her purse and told us a bit about them.  I mentioned that they were adorable and that my aunt also had a daughter from China, because she couldn't conceive (i was not insinuating that was her issue at al) She said "ohh no no no. I'm fully fertile.  We just feel with so many homeless, starving children in the world it is just very selfish to have children.  There are too many that need good homes and yet people just keep bringing more children in to a world of limited resources.  Its just awful" At this point every person at the table kind of silenced.  Her husband tried to kin of smooth it over and turned it a little sayig like Oh she means you know more people keep having kids they can't care for its so sad.  She cut him right off and said "no I mean no one in general should be creating children when there are so many out there that need help.It's just so selfish and it's so egotistical how people think they have to mark their territory on the world by planting their seed" AWKWARD! 

Listen I get what she is saying and I think adoption is wonderful..but who the hell says having your own kids is selfish and egotistical? Sorry bitch but we have 2 gorgeous children we made and raise and are working on #3..if that makes me a selfish, egotistical resource waster so be it! lol

Her husband who is technically one of my husband's bosses approached everyone  today who was there and personally apologized and said he had hoped his wifes comments did not offend anyone.  My husband of course said no problem at all...but you can bet they all think this chick is a crazy bitch. 

by on Feb. 16, 2012 at 10:07 PM
Replies (241-250):
ShyJen
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:49 PM

 My husband and I are not into adopting, its just not for us. If we couldnt have kids, then so be it, no kids for us. But we got two beautiful daughters to raise now.

PinkHairMAMA
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:49 PM
My two boys are mixed race, my husband is Filipino an I'm white. They look EXACTLY like him, his little mini-me's. He jokes and tells people he is working on cloning himself his own football team. LOL!! I'm just their cook and maid ;-)


Quoting sweet.lil.mama:

Why? Even if they are mixed race they still resemble their Bio parents...



Quoting FooLynRoo:




Quoting sweet.lil.mama:

I hate people like that, like its my fault people in 3rd world countries can't wrap it up. I want my kids to look like me...

I would be SOL if i thought this.


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CanInTex
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:51 PM
Oh geez, great first impression lol.
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dreambig666
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I tried to have children with my first marriage having 10 miscarriages.  At 38 after divorce & remarriage I gave up all hope of ever having a biological child.  After 6 months of a second marriage I became pregnant & delivered my son @ 39.  My husband was in his 50's with 2 adult children.  If wanting my own child is selfish I can live with that. My son was born premature & we went through some trying times but it was all worth it. My son will graduate this yr from college.  We are proud parents & feel everyone should fulfill the desire to have a biological child.

latebloomerw4
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:52 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting FooLynRoo:

I would have congratulated her but asked her how come she isn't into adopting one of the homeless children in her own country - like the 8 year old less desireablechildren who spend their lives without parents in group homes or shuffled from foster family to foster family - a truly saintly soul would know charity starts at home - and someone truly trying to change the world and give out good would give to those most in need (older orphans)

I AGREE!!! LOVE it! .....or ask her when they plan on "having" their next child and tell her you can't wait to meet her kids'  new "big brother or sister". Add  "Of course  I'm just assuming it will be an older American orphan this time around? I understand and applaud your dedication to taking in the orphans and just KNEW an older, so called "unplaceable" American orphan would be your next child! How wonderful that will be!"   ....   Sweet, understanding and putting her in the hot seat    LOL!

seamonkey419
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I think she's kinda crazy, I get what she's saying but I dont agree with it!

Jenniy
by Gold Member on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:54 PM
I'm damn selfish then, I have three bio kids and very proud if them all. Lol
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sweetpea290
by New Member on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow. I really do understand her point. Yes there are a lot of children without parents and there are also a lot of people willing to adopt them. If we choose to have kids that's our right. I have 3 kids and I love them dearly.
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Cullen331
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:55 PM

Adopting is wonderful, as is the Lord saying to go forth and multiply ( making your own ). My husband who was previously married had a vasectomy 20 years plus before we met (he is 14 years older than me). We wanted children together and tried to adopt for years ( from america and abroad ) just one denial after the other.. so we found if we wanted children we would have to have a reversal. It was successful :) I know too much talking, but point being if it were just a tad easier to adopt, we wouldn't have "made" more children and ontop of the 2 we have, would've adopted. Funny, we missed adopting because of many reasons, including not being married enough years and not owning our home enough years, but there are no regulations on having your own. I do *not* want to sound judgemental, so sorry if I am... but there are many people who have their own kids who should be screened first, but those who are willing to love kids more than they probably have been in a long time or their whole life.. cant.

Famousglm714
by Gina on Feb. 17, 2012 at 6:59 PM
2 moms liked this
I get what she meant but she should have dropped it when her husband cut in. Some people show no tact.
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