is it selfish of me to try to get DF to....

[Miss_MikLain]

Tell me more about his day?

Part of me feels selfish because I'm on bedrest so I live vicariously through everyone on Earth! Haha! But I also feel selfish because I feel like I'm trying to change him and I love him the way he is! And because it would make my life easier. For instance if I know what's going on with him at work I can help make home function around that (when we do get married and move in together). Sort of preparing for our life together.

I know he's not hiding anything. But I hate that he doesn't tell me about his day. Like tonight I texted him "how ya doin?" DF: "good u?" Me: "better now. How was work?" DF: "ok at best" Me: "what happened baby?" DF: "its nothing"

I HATE THAT!! GRRRRRRR! He's a wonderful amazing guy...I just don't get why he won't be as open emotionally with the mundane/everyday stuff as he is with his actual emotions. (His proposal was the sweetest thing ever! I cried like 4 times)

[shadow_lark]

He probably does it because he really does feel like there is nothing worth telling. dh used to be like that. then he went otr...lo and behold, everyday there is a new story. its interesting, but i know how you feel too.

But...that's what cafemom is for. you can live vicariously through us. :-)

[Miss_MikLain]

OH I DO! I've never loved pointless drama more! Lol!

But I guess you're right. Guys think everything is nothing and women think everything is something. He's expressive in the best ways. I'm thankful for that.

Quoting shadow_lark:

He probably does it because he really does feel like there is nothing worth telling. dh used to be like that. then he went otr...lo and behold, everyday there is a new story. its interesting, but i know how you feel too.



But...that's what cafemom is for. you can live vicariously through us. :-)

[crwspringer]

Some people need the mental separation from work and home. Otherwise hey will be thinking about it all night. When you do that it is difficult to relax.
I was just reading an article how Volkswagen (I am pretty sure) in the next year will cut employees off email outside of the office at 5:30. They will not be able to access it again till 7:30 am. That way there is a clear distinction between work time and home time.

[Miss_MikLain]

I get that part...but I hate that I don't know what's going on! Like if it were an average bad day at work I'd have a certain drink ready and a certain dinner ready. I'm such a planner. I want his home to be the plave he comes to where everything is perfect and he can just be dad and husband (I know kids make everything unpredictable but I mean relatively perfect). I want to make the best home possible and sometimes it feels like he's not going to let me do that for him when we take the big step. It bothers me a little bit. I want him to be able to come home and feel completely taken care of. I hope some of that made sense lol

Quoting crwspringer:

Some people need the mental separation from work and home. Otherwise hey will be thinking about it all night. When you do that it is difficult to relax.

I was just reading an article how Volkswagen (I am pretty sure) in the next year will cut employees off email outside of the office at 5:30. They will not be able to access it again till 7:30 am. That way there is a clear distinction between work time and home time.

[crwspringer]

Have a drink ready for him every day. Give him that little something to look forward to everyday.
It is really sweet that you want to be all that for him. I wish you the best with the new baby.

Quoting Miss_MikLain:

I get that part...but I hate that I don't know what's going on! Like if it were an average bad day at work I'd have a certain drink ready and a certain dinner ready. I'm such a planner. I want his home to be the plave he comes to where everything is perfect and he can just be dad and husband (I know kids make everything unpredictable but I mean relatively perfect). I want to make the best home possible and sometimes it feels like he's not going to let me do that for him when we take the big step. It bothers me a little bit. I want him to be able to come home and feel completely taken care of. I hope some of that made sense lol

Quoting crwspringer:

Some people need the mental separation from work and home. Otherwise hey will be thinking about it all night. When you do that it is difficult to relax.


I was just reading an article how Volkswagen (I am pretty sure) in the next year will cut employees off email outside of the office at 5:30. They will not be able to access it again till 7:30 am. That way there is a clear distinction between work time and home time.

[Miss_MikLain]

Thanks!

Quoting crwspringer:

Have a drink ready for him every day. Give him that little something to look forward to everyday.

It is really sweet that you want to be all that for him. I wish you the best with the new baby.

Quoting Miss_MikLain:

I get that part...but I hate that I don't know what's going on! Like if it were an average bad day at work I'd have a certain drink ready and a certain dinner ready. I'm such a planner. I want his home to be the plave he comes to where everything is perfect and he can just be dad and husband (I know kids make everything unpredictable but I mean relatively perfect). I want to make the best home possible and sometimes it feels like he's not going to let me do that for him when we take the big step. It bothers me a little bit. I want him to be able to come home and feel completely taken care of. I hope some of that made sense lol

Quoting crwspringer:

Some people need the mental separation from work and home. Otherwise hey will be thinking about it all night. When you do that it is difficult to relax.



I was just reading an article how Volkswagen (I am pretty sure) in the next year will cut employees off email outside of the office at 5:30. They will not be able to access it again till 7:30 am. That way there is a clear distinction between work time and home time.

[pasteeater]

My husband doesnt talk much about work either. He has enough stress during the day. His job comes with a lot of drama. He doesn't want to relive it every night.

[Miss_MikLain]

True. I guess I just gotta deal huh? And do the best I can to help him de-stress while uninformed.

Quoting pasteeater:

My husband doesnt talk much about work either. He has enough stress during the day. His job comes with a lot of drama. He doesn't want to relive it every night.

[velvetkitty]

My husband is the same way.  Men just aren't detailed oriented. LOL.

[Miss_MikLain]

Very true! Silly men! Mehp!

Quoting velvetkitty:

My husband is the same way.  Men just aren't detailed oriented. LOL.