How do I kick them out without loosing my brother? PIOG

[tarakay0417]

A little back story. My brother is a truck driver and he is in the National Guard. Him and my SIL lost their house due to the landlord selling the property. My brother was fixing to be deployed to Iraq so my husband let them move in with him (this was before we started dating.) They were only suppose to be here for the year my brother was in Iraq. He came home and hurt his back really bad at PT, so he couldn't work either job for awhile. My DS and I needed a place to stay and we moved in too and then DH and I fell in love and got married. We loaned my brother and SIL money to pay their bills, feed their dogs and horses, and for things they needed. The still owe us $3000 from that. My SIL is an irresoponsible pet owner, she lets her dogs breed out of control. We have told her that she can't keep them all and that they need to be fixed. Her dogs are getting aggressive, most are in kennels outside. They keep getting out and have attacked our neighbors dog (this happened again today.) My brother's back is healed and has been working again for the past 2 years. My SIL refuses to pay us back because "they don't have the money" but yet she bought a ticket and flew to Germany 2 weeks ago. From Nashville, Tn to Germany is about $1500 for one way, I know this because I looked it up. Not to mention my SIL disrespects me in my house all the time. She cusses me and insults me all the time. I have brought this to my brothers attention and he doesn't do anything about it. He is a truck driver and only comes home 1 weekend a month for drill with the National Guard. I am sick of this shit. How do I kick them out without loosing my brother? Its my SIL that causes most of the problems. Please help!!! Thanks!!! Oh and my SIL's reasoning for treating me so badly is because she raised me and she can and the fact that my DH was her friend first.

[connie45]

Forget them paying you back.  Just let that go.  Next time your brother is in town - sit them down with a written out plan - basically giving them notice - how/when/why you need them to find their own home.  Give them a definite deadline and stick to it.  Offer them reasonable assistance (not money) in procuring their own place.   Stick to your guns or they, especially the SIL, will not take you seriously.

And, i think your brother can't stand his wife and is content to see her once a month and let you deal with her lunacy.   

[yabbadabba07]

This story is confusing and a little creepy.

[jridgill]

I'm a little confused but you just have to tell them. He's a grown man. He should understand. How does your husban feel about all this?

[Msgme]

You just gotta sit your brother down and lay it all out.  Give them a time frame to get thier own place. Make sure your dh sits down with you all. Just let your brother know you love him but they gots to go even if just for the sake of your relationship.

[Msgme]

Quoting yabbadabba07:

This story is confusing and a little creepy.

confusing I get but creepy?

[rockinmomto2]

I agree with this completely.

Quoting connie45:

Forget them paying you back.  Just let that go.  Next time your brother is in town - sit them down with a written out plan - basically giving them notice - how/when/why you need them to find their own home.  Give them a definite deadline and stick to it.  Offer them reasonable assistance (not money) in procuring their own place.   Stick to your guns or they, especially the SIL, will not take you seriously.

And, i think your brother can't stand his wife and is content to see her once a month and let you deal with her lunacy.   

[TarotMommy]

Have your DH handle this. He's the one who moved them in so he should handle moving them out. Since you're his wife now you should not have to deal with another hen in your house, especially one who disrespects you. If he won't do it then he thinks nothing of you as his wife.

[momma-flynn]

They have established your home as their home. Depending on your state laws, you most likely have to have them evicted.

[yabbadabba07]

Yeh creepy. Her sil is such good friends with her dh that he let her move in before the op was even involved in this situation. The sil raised the op? What are the ages here? The op wants the sil to move out but the sil was there first.

Quoting Msgme:

Quoting yabbadabba07:

This story is confusing and a little creepy.

confusing I get but creepy?

[taKENheart]

 I think you and your dh need to be a united front on this whole situation.  I didn't see mention of his feelings but I'm just saying that he needs to assist you with this.  I would forget about what they owe and let it be a lesson to not loan anymore financially.  I would definitely speak to your brother about your unhappiness but reiterate how much you love him...explain why it's just not working anymore.  SIL's reasons for being allowed to treat you that way doesn't fly.  I wouldn't let my own mother treat me with disrespect and you are now the Lady of the house whether she lived there as a room mate first or not.