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Starting Over

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:33 AM
  • 5 Replies

This post should be familiar to most single moms and perhaps a few married moms too.

After 8 yrs of living with kids dad, I moved out yesterday. We went through the whole custody battle thing and who will pay who, we ended up doing shared custody and he pays support. I had been on my own(in his house..rental) since August with the kids so I didn't think this would be a big deal, but it is because at the time we were going through the custody thing he was still paying all the bills.

Now I'm responsible. And it's very, very scary. I realize I have to be frugal, but I keep thinking "how am I going to do it"? I'm sure someone here can relate. How did you get through the transition? I'm excited about having my own place, but at the same time I am scared to death.

It's just a big change. So who else out there is going through this or has gone through it? What's your story?

On a funny note, my daughter(7) keeps calling the apartment a hotel. LOLLL I keep telling her it's a home, just a different type. She keeps asking me when we are going to go to the hotel to live. Cracks me up.

by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:33 AM
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Replies (1-5):
alwayskk
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:36 AM

When I first left my ex, I couldn't find a job for six months. I had my own business but the economy was so slow at the time, I didn't have many clients. So, I cleaned houses, tutored kids, sold plasma, held a sign and asked friends and family for help. Never thought I would see myself doing those things, but you do whatya gotta.

DeannaLeigh79
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Your strength and courage is amazing! good luck to you! you will do just fine. Us women are resilient and can always survive.
HoosierNative
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:44 AM

Here's the thing that scares me. Right now I'm on Food Stamps, I have a $10 an hour job and I am in income based housing(so I pay regular rent, not free rent or section 8). I want to work a second job and save some money, however, by doing so I can lose my apartment and my food stamps(which to be honest the food stamps aren't a real picnic anyway, but it puts food in my babies bellies..and mine too...so I'll take it as long as I can get it). 

Even though my ex is no longer "in control of me" so to speak, now i have the government doing it. Know what I mean? Anything is better than living with my ex, but I want to be able to save money and move on to a "normal" life. 

My family isn't here, they are 2,000 miles away. And I can't imagine selling plasma, doesn't that hurt? At least you survived. You are my inspiration here. :)

Quoting alwayskk:

When I first left my ex, I couldn't find a job for six months. I had my own business but the economy was so slow at the time, I didn't have many clients. So, I cleaned houses, tutored kids, sold plasma, held a sign and asked friends and family for help. Never thought I would see myself doing those things, but you do whatya gotta.


alwayskk
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:48 AM

IMO, it didn't hurt any more than giving blood and I give blood regularly.

I know what you mean, I was on FS for a few months, too. I wasn't able to get a second job so I didn't face that exact situation. But when I was married, our bills were more than our income, we were constantly going negative in the bank. What I did to save money was collect change. It didn't add up to much, I saved $60 over the period of a year. But every penny helps, lol. That $60 bought us some groceries.

Where you are is temporary. On one hand, it's exciting, on the other it's scary. But on each hand, it's exciting. Don't stress about not having a savings right now, you have enough on your plate. You won't be here forever and you will be able to save again one day soon.

Quoting HoosierNative:

Here's the thing that scares me. Right now I'm on Food Stamps, I have a $10 an hour job and I am in income based housing(so I pay regular rent, not free rent or section 8). I want to work a second job and save some money, however, by doing so I can lose my apartment and my food stamps(which to be honest the food stamps aren't a real picnic anyway, but it puts food in my babies bellies..and mine too...so I'll take it as long as I can get it). 

Even though my ex is no longer "in control of me" so to speak, now i have the government doing it. Know what I mean? Anything is better than living with my ex, but I want to be able to save money and move on to a "normal" life. 

My family isn't here, they are 2,000 miles away. And I can't imagine selling plasma, doesn't that hurt? At least you survived. You are my inspiration here. :)

Quoting alwayskk:

When I first left my ex, I couldn't find a job for six months. I had my own business but the economy was so slow at the time, I didn't have many clients. So, I cleaned houses, tutored kids, sold plasma, held a sign and asked friends and family for help. Never thought I would see myself doing those things, but you do whatya gotta.



carterscutie85
by *Shanny's Stalker* on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:56 AM

You need to figure out what bills you can pay out of each paycheck while still maintaining a little extra for emergencies, etc.

When I first got on my own I didn't have kids, but I designated each paycheck for something. The first 3 paychecks went to rent, with about 50 dollars left over from each paycheck. The fourth went to utilities, with about 50 left over from that too. I used that extra 200 for food and taxables.

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