Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I get SIL to understand that her cleanliness is questionable?

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:45 AM
  • 23 Replies

She is 16 and will be 17 this month. She has since learned to shower daily, but she is covered in acne. Her room stinks and I believe it is from her bedding. I have told her to wash her bedding b/c it can make acne worse. She refuses. Her parents are NEVER home, only on Sundays and that is rare. Her acne is so inflamed it is disgusting to look at. I know it has been 7 months at least since her bedding (including sheets) have been cleaned and that is when I MADE her do it.

I really don't understand why have kids if you cannot be there to parent them or are always running off to go party, even at almost 60yrs old. SIL just got yelled at big time yesterday when her older sister popped by and saw how bad her room and bathroom are.

This girl comes to me for advice, but yet doesn't take it. Why do I even care???


by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:45 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mommy2bella
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:46 AM
Omg. 7 months?! That is disgusting! Can you mention something to her parents?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
carterscutie85
by *Shanny's Stalker* on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this

...Ew.

I would tell her flat out she stinks..and so does her room. But I am mean like that.

jenn4443
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:50 AM
Does she live near you? Maybe just be a friend and kinda take over and be like we are going to wash these and clean your room and you guys can talk In a fun "friend" way. Sounds like she just hasn't had the guidance she needs. But if she has you she might change what she is doing.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DevinsMom94
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:52 AM
I have a similar problem with my SIL and her 16 yr old son. It's not as extreme as your case but I feel your pain. His bedding hasn't been changed in a month. He won't shower unless told and when he does he puts the same dirty underwater back on wears them the same socks and jeans unroll forced to change them. His room smells so bad!!!! His mom makes him do nothing she's too busy on her phone or sleeping. I do what I can but have my one family to worry about!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lovinlife2005
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Right now we are staying with them but ready to move in a couple of weeks. Dh just got a new job so we definitely won't be here much longer. I've tried to be nice and help her and show her things properly but its not sinking in. I'm afraid when we leave, it will get worse.


Quoting jenn4443:

Does she live near you? Maybe just be a friend and kinda take over and be like we are going to wash these and clean your room and you guys can talk In a fun "friend" way. Sounds like she just hasn't had the guidance she needs. But if she has you she might change what she is doing.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kemmerer411
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:53 AM
Ew. Id tell her she and her room stinks and schedule an appt with a dermatologist!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
alwayskk
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:54 AM
1 mom liked this

Ew :( But she's a teenager and she has learned these behaviors. Perhaps as her brain continues to develop, she will understand these things better.

When I was that age, my hygiene was good but my housekeeping skills were awful. I didn't really get good at keeping house until my oldest was about 4. LOL

SarahSue87
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this

When she is at school, go in her room and wash her sheets, open her window, and shut the door. Let her pick up her messy room, but wash the sheets if its that bad. Maybe she will like the feeling of clean sheets? Other than that IDK, sometimes you just cant do much if they dont listen. 

blessed107
by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:56 AM

7 months,I not going 7 days without changing and washing mine...bleh!

mrswillie
by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:58 AM

FIrst, if her acne is that bad, it is probably due to more then just dirty blankets.  My friend had terrible acne all though was very clean.  She was perscibed a medicine for it.

SOunds like this girl needs parental guidence and may be this way because lack there of.  I know you try to help, but I also know you can not replace the bond between child and parent.  At her age, parental guidence is crucial.  If her parents are disregarding their responsibilities, their is no doubt, she will as well.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)