This is my father and his other daughter... a year ago. I have no photos with him. Only she does.
As a lot of you may know, my father has alienated me. Completely. He was in my life until I was 14, then stopped abruptly. I made my mistakes, paid my dues, and came back and tried being a daughter again. He refuses to talk to me. I'm 22 now, so basically 8 years I've been without him. I have two kids, his grandsons, that he has seen a handful of times but not when I was around. He hasn't seen the baby at all. Hasn't called to see how I am... nothing. He takes my other sister shopping all the time, spends money, goes out to eat.. I finally called him and left a message and said something along the lines of "It's bullshit that you do all this for "D" and spend all that money, and I never ask for anything. All I want is a phone call. I'm done."
Of course, he never did call.
I saw him July of 2011 for the last time. He saw me, went inside, and came back outside with a gun tucked in the back of his shorts, then told his girlfriend (I overheard) that he was going to shoot me if I even looked at him funny.
I left the birthday party in tears.
Anyway, my point is, I had a dream last night that he died. In my dream, my heart broke because I loved him but never got that chance to be his daughter. I had the feeling of never being able to be daddy's princess.
So if any of you had a rough relationship with your dad.. and if they passed (I'm sorry)... how do you deal with it? I know he's probably not dead... but it's going to happen someday and I don't think we'll get the chance to talk before because he hates me.
I am a mother since May 1st of 2008 to Isaiah
And since January 4th, 2012 to Kelly
And a SAHM since October of 2011