should i just leave? ugh....at what point do you say, 'it's ain't working, i'm done" ? UPDATE
i don't even know what i want to do right now. i want to pack my bags and leave, but i am scared of going it on my own. and scared of it hurting the kids.
i have had enough. this just is NOT working. will buying a house and moving off his parents land solve the issues we have that DON'T involve his family? probably not.
i am sick and tired of spending all damn day cleaning our house, ( forget time to play with the kids, or give them attention) then going to work all freakin night ( ok, until 12am or 2am, not ALL night) and coming home to an utter mess. i am talking food crusted onto my ds's highchair, i can't even wake up and plop him down for breakfast, i am talking about dirty dishes everywhere, toys, clothes ect, everywhere, dirty floors, messy bathroom, you freakin name it.
he doesn't do FUCK ALL. last i checked, this was OUR ( no wait, not OURS) house, and OUR kids, we BOTH work FT, so WHY does he gets hours to sit on his fucking ASS, while i am left to do all the work around here?
i may as well be a single mom with a dirty filthy troll living in my basement who comes out to play while i am at work.
throw in his emotional detachment, his cowardice regarding his family, lack of communication......this is a very lopsided partnership.
leaving is easier said than done, life isn't bad enough for me to go to a women's shelter, so please do not suggest that.
leaving my job i am currently at is not an option i want to have to choose either, because my boss treats me so well, and it is so hard for me to find a boss i can get a long with well enough to work for them.
i started looking for a rental this morning, after waking up yet AGAIN to a filthy fucking mess, ( leaving my house in that condition is not an option, he wont clean it, and like a pig, is perfectly happy living in a fucking pigsty, so it will just become an even bigger mess i will have to deal with, and my kids deserve better than that) and i was like.....enough, i have had it. he has NO respect for me or how much i do around here. ENOUGH.
i found a rental i can afford in a small town near my job,hopefully it is still avail. i called low income supplement, and asked if i would be eligible if i left him, and i am ( extra $520/mth) .....we would still be close enough that he will be able to see his kids. i can handle this place without help from any man, and that is what i think i want.
if i leave him? NEVER AGAIN will i live with another man. NEVER.
should i just leave? i cannot see us ever being happy together, and i don't want to waste my life being in a relationship that makes me miserable, life is too short.
**** well, i didnt leave him the note, but we did talk. And i'm leaving. We (so far) are parting as friends, and i told him that he could see the kids anytime he wants, im not moving too far away, we will be close enough. Going to look at a house tomorrow.