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Thinkin about tracking down ss bio mom......piog..

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Shes been out of the picture since day one.  My b/f has no idea Im thinking about this.  Im just curious if she got clean, help, and kicked her drug habit.  She hasn't made contact with my b/f at all to see her son.  But I was thinking about looking for her through facebook and stuff and meet up with her.  My ss has no memories of his mother and I want him to have at least one (as long as shes clean of course!).  I dont know if its a good idea or not. I'm torn.  Not too long ago I made him a photo album of his mother so he knows what she looks like and stuff.  I dont know how my b/f would react to this.  I wouldnt do it without his permission either. 

by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 3:46 AM
Replies (301-310):
3lilmonsters88
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:05 AM
Leave it alone. Don't even open that can of worms
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Irenesmommy
by Platinum Member on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:11 AM

so you're more of a tom jones, wayne newton? it's cool

Quoting DEJavu17:

Sorries, You're SOL. I can't curl my lip like he does. :(

Quoting Irenesmommy:

I would've preferred Elvis "thank you, thank you verrrry much"

Quoting DEJavu17:

*over extravagant bow with super arrogant voice* Thank you, thank you veeerrry much!!!! I'll be here all night!! ;)

Quoting Irenesmommy:

LOVE

Quoting DEJavu17:


Quoting gemikris82:


Quoting DEJavu17:

Awwww. How nice. *rolls eyes*

I bet he wouldn't mind, I mean, he's had a free babysitter all this time, why would it be any different after you're married?

Quoting gemikris82:

i dont want to be a sahm. i want to work.  hes actually more traditional, he wouldnt mind if i was a sahm

Quoting lovedogs83:

If your boyfriend makes good money, cannot he not afford for you to be SAHM?

Quoting gemikris82:

i was diagnosed 5 years ago and got approved for disability.  i think im ready to go back to work and make something of myself again.  bipolar never goes away, ill always have it, and the chances of it relapsing when stressed is very high, espc with starting a new job. but im sick of not having money.  my b/f knows that going back to work is my #1 goal right now and he totally supports me on it.

Quoting Young_Mommy89:

You're getting food stamps which is public assistance. You claim to want to get a job, if you're able then why are you collecting disability?

lol some of you women shouldnt even have children.  you gang up on one person and bully somebody over their personal choices.  yea thats not highschool behavior.

Now let's divert to the typical defensive reply that most people on here use when they are not intelligent enough to hold an adult conversation.

Let me break it down this way. Follow along.

High school behavior is playing house with a man, pretending to be his little boys mommy, and confusing him even more. YOU should have NEVER even touched this subject, and allowed his father to deal with it. When it comes to being a step-parent, you learn to STEP back, and let your SO take over. THAT is ADULT behavior. SOME of us grow up, get married, have children and step children of our own, and KNOW when we need to BACK OFF. You should not have even made him that photo album, all you did was confuse him MORE. Now you have a 4 year old that doesn't understand why his "real" mommy doesn't want him, and is sad because mommies are supposed to love their children. Your BF's brother was an ASS for teling the kid that you are not his mommy, that wasn't his place, but It was your BF's place to BE A MAN and explain this to HIS son, not you.

What are you going to do when a little ways down the road this child looks at you and says "I don't have to listen to you, you aren't my real mommy." What are you going to do then? Correct him??  Yes, you have been there, but you haven't been THERE! You are only HALF there.  Seeing a child every day does not make you his mother.






RaynesMommy07
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:25 AM
Tough call to make. I'd just leave it alone.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Brooke-Nicole
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:26 AM

OP, this is actually a very good idea. If he makes enough just do it, so you can get the process started.  Worry about BM when he gets  a lot older.  

 really dun care how you support yourself.   Contacting the boy's BM is a bad idea,  it is really a decision that should be left up to his father.   I believe that if you feel a child is your child and the child feels you are his mother and dad feels like you are.. then you are indeed that child's mother.. even if it's not legal.  I stick to my stance on that. 

However, the ladies talking about how you don't have legal rights are correct. Of course you can make small decisions but you can't make the -big- decisions. You should talk to your s/o about getting married sooner and about adopting the boy.  You can go to school and get a job after you finish school  That would be the right way to do it.. so you can concentrate on school and the boy without having to worry about working (trust me it sucks). 

Unless you already went to school. If that's the case just go get a job.  They have medication for being bi-polar. I don't know much about that ..   

Quoting lovedogs83:

So why not marry him now and let him support you while you job hunt? You can then start the process of formally adopting his child so you are legally his mother. 


LiesLiesLies
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:26 AM
1 mom liked this
The Hamptons?

And with family? Aren't you part of that? Lol!

Wow. This story is fucking fantastic!

Yay for Saturday!

Quoting gemikris82:



Quoting marinenonstop:

You have no right to even bring it up to your boyfriend. Look you're saying this relationship is what works for tou guys. Then leave it alone. This is something between your boyfriend ..HIS son and the BIOLOGICAL mother. You call him your ss (but in the same post claim you are the only mother he knows ) part of being a step mom is knowing your place. Knowing that you cant involve yourself in legal matters or with trying to forge a relationship between bio mom n child. Its not your place and you are creating an unnecessary tension. If you truly love this child as your own..why in the world would you want bio mom back in the picture? ? Marry your boyfriend (after you do get engaged) and ADOPT this child.


Quoting gemikris82:


if you read the last sentence of my original post, it says i wouldnt do it without his permission.  i wouldnt jump the gun on this. 



Quoting DEJavu17:



and again, YOU have no business making the decision to involve his BM. Period.






Quoting gemikris82:



 



Quoting DEJavu17:






Quoting gemikris82:



 



Quoting DEJavu17:






Quoting gemikris82:



 



Quoting DEJavu17:



Awwww. How nice. *rolls eyes*



I bet he wouldn't mind, I mean, he's had a free babysitter all this time, why would it be any different after you're married?



Quoting gemikris82:



i dont want to be a sahm. i want to work.  hes actually more traditional, he wouldnt mind if i was a sahm



Quoting lovedogs83:



If your boyfriend makes good money, cannot he not afford for you to be SAHM?



Quoting gemikris82:



i was diagnosed 5 years ago and got approved for disability.  i think im ready to go back to work and make something of myself again.  bipolar never goes away, ill always have it, and the chances of it relapsing when stressed is very high, espc with starting a new job. but im sick of not having money.  my b/f knows that going back to work is my #1 goal right now and he totally supports me on it.



Quoting Young_Mommy89:

You're getting food stamps which is public assistance. You claim to want to get a job, if you're able then why are you collecting disability?


lol some of you women shouldnt even have children.  you gang up on one person and bully somebody over their personal choices.  yea thats not highschool behavior.



Now let's divert to the typical defensive reply that most people on here use when they are not intelligent enough to hold an adult conversation.



Let me break it down this way. Follow along.



High school behavior is playing house with a man, pretending to be his little boys mommy, and confusing him even more. YOU should have NEVER even touched this subject, and allowed his father to deal with it. When it comes to being a step-parent, you learn to STEP back, and let your SO take over. THAT is ADULT behavior. SOME of us grow up, get married, have children and step children of our own, and KNOW when we need to BACK OFF. You should not have even made him that photo album, all you did was confuse him MORE. Now you have a 4 year old that doesn't understand why his "real" mommy doesn't want him, and is sad because mommies are supposed to love their children. Your BF's brother was an ASS for teling the kid that you are not his mommy, that wasn't his place, but It was your BF's place to BE A MAN and explain this to HIS son, not you.



What are you going to do when a little ways down the road this child looks at you and says "I don't have to listen to you, you aren't my real mommy." What are you going to do then? Correct him??  Yes, you have been there, but you haven't been THERE! You are only HALF there.  Seeing a child every day does not make you his mother.



in our relationship, he considers me an equal parent.  he lets me make decisions for him, i dont need to ask his permission, he dosnt treat me like dads girlfriend.  personally i think he should of found out the truth when he was a tad bit older. thats just me.  am i going to get married? of course.  but right now my # one goal is to get a job in the mental health field.  he knows it, he  understand it, and he supports it.  I dont want to start off my marriage unemployeed and on any kind of assistance.  I want to have more children with him, and i dontwant to do that while on any form of assitance either.  I think thats irresponsible. Anyways, what makes me his mom, is my ss.  In his eyes and his heart, im mommy.  Not legally yet, but in everyother way yea i am. 



Sure. He considers you an equal parent, because you are there taking care of the kid.



And of course you are mommy in your BFs sons eyes, you are the only mother figure that has ever been there. BUT that doesn't change the fact that YOU have no right making decisions when it comes to matters of the heart. ABSOLUTELY NONE!!



again, i make decisions for him without checking in with my bf all the time.  my b/f is the father of the child, and he is perfectly fine with that.  but we arent talking about anything major either, its not like im buying him a car






 





i def see where you are coming from with the whole bio mom thing.  i just thought if she was cleaned up, and she saw him, my ss would one day thank me for bringing them together instead of resenting me thinking i kept them apart.  


as far as moving in, its going to happen.  the two of them are actually in the hamptons this weekend with family so i decided to move some of my things in......along with my cat.  and no he doesnt have a clue about the cat.  i told him about bringing over some of my things though. 


i said ill move in when i get a job, and i dont want to jinx myself but i have a good feeling about one place. 



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lovemystinky
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:27 AM

Omfg you look like Marilyn Monroe!!!!!!

charliebean
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:30 AM
If you think about it, it's actually the perfect set up. Wouldn't you love to have a place to go when the kids are driving you up the wall and you just need to get away for a day or night? She's got it made. I can see why she isn't in a hurry to move in and get married and adopt the kid.

Quoting Young_Mommy89:

No bcuz then you would have to add bf & ss....why not get off of assistance & move in together? You've had 4yrs to do what you claim you want so badly....do it, quit making excuses. Seems like you don't want commitment. I couldn't imagine being together with someone for 4yrs let alone 9 & not living together.....



Quoting gemikris82:




Quoting lovedogs83:



Because if you did change your address legally, you wouldn't receive food stamps, right?



Quoting gemikris82:



 



Quoting DEJavu17:



Yeah, I feel like a jackass now. I totally thought this kid was living in her home...somebody smack me for NOT reading through all the replies. Please.



Quoting marinenonstop:

She doesnt even live with them???? Wow.




Quoting justgracie:



Yep.  And the BM is a druggie so apparently the SO is all about class.  Also, she doesn't live with the boy and SO 'cause now's not a good time for her.  That is also why they aren't married.



But don't go pointing out these little facts.  She'll just keep responding with "I'm mommy, he calls me mommy".  As if a child isn't going to call you anything you teach him to.




Quoting Mandiii04:

You've been together for 9 years and he has a 4 year old with someone else?....





Quoting gemikris82:



 





Quoting Mandiii04:

It does matter. You could break up with your boyfriend tomorrow and you'd have no rights to this child. You cannot make medical decisions for him.





Quoting gemikris82:





 






Quoting Mandiii04:

"Going to get married" doesn't equal "married".






Quoting gemikris82:






 







Quoting Mandiii04:

Youre not even married. He's not your stepson. You don't get any input. If your bf wanted to get in touch with her he'd do it. If BM was clean and wanted to see her kid then SHE'D get in touch.







Quoting gemikris82:







 








Quoting Mandiii04:

Not your kid, not your call.








im going to talk to the boyfriend first.  shoot the idea at him, he doesnt come up with ideas too often, hes not one to think outside the box. 







he calls me mommy, im going to marry his father, im his mother.  i consider him my son/ss i love him like my own. 






doesnt matter, im still mommy. 





 i dont think you get it.  this isnt some guy im dating with a kid.  ive been with him for 9 years.  this is the man im giong to marry, have my own kids with .  im the only mommy my ss knows.





are you and your husband going to split up tomorrow? i doubt it.  same with us.



 







he lives with his father.  i dont live there, thats not my mailing address.  i do sleep there, andi see my ss every day.  i havent legally changed my address or anything like that.



 



i would probably still receive them only because i claimed myself with the foodstamps.  its just a change of address.  i know people on fs that move and nothing happed to their stamps.  my thing is about  moving in/getting married im waiting til i get a job and im off of foodstamps.  i dont want to start my marriage out like that.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
charliebean
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:43 AM
So.... You watch the kid every day while he's at work, yes? If you got a job, who would watch him? And let's say the job you're applying for is minimum wage, which typically pays about $800 a month. If you are already getting "less than $1000" a month and you are able to stay at home and watch his kid, why would you change that to less money and less time with the kid?

Quoting gemikris82:

i told him that ill move in once i find a job...which if all goes according to plan i might get hired tuesday.  im on disability and get less than 1000 a month.  So i wanted to wait til i can afford to help him out with the bills, since my money doesnt go too far.


Quoting Young_Mommy89:

No bcuz then you would have to add bf & ss....why not get off of assistance & move in together? You've had 4yrs to do what you claim you want so badly....do it, quit making excuses. Seems like you don't want commitment. I couldn't imagine being together with someone for 4yrs let alone 9 & not living together.....


Quoting gemikris82:


 



Quoting lovedogs83:



Because if you did change your address legally, you wouldn't receive food stamps, right?



Quoting gemikris82:



 



Quoting DEJavu17:



Yeah, I feel like a jackass now. I totally thought this kid was living in her home...somebody smack me for NOT reading through all the replies. Please.



Quoting marinenonstop:

She doesnt even live with them???? Wow.




Quoting justgracie:



Yep.  And the BM is a druggie so apparently the SO is all about class.  Also, she doesn't live with the boy and SO 'cause now's not a good time for her.  That is also why they aren't married.



But don't go pointing out these little facts.  She'll just keep responding with "I'm mommy, he calls me mommy".  As if a child isn't going to call you anything you teach him to.




Quoting Mandiii04:

You've been together for 9 years and he has a 4 year old with someone else?....





Quoting gemikris82:



 





Quoting Mandiii04:

It does matter. You could break up with your boyfriend tomorrow and you'd have no rights to this child. You cannot make medical decisions for him.





Quoting gemikris82:





 






Quoting Mandiii04:

"Going to get married" doesn't equal "married".






Quoting gemikris82:






 







Quoting Mandiii04:

Youre not even married. He's not your stepson. You don't get any input. If your bf wanted to get in touch with her he'd do it. If BM was clean and wanted to see her kid then SHE'D get in touch.







Quoting gemikris82:







 








Quoting Mandiii04:

Not your kid, not your call.








im going to talk to the boyfriend first.  shoot the idea at him, he doesnt come up with ideas too often, hes not one to think outside the box. 







he calls me mommy, im going to marry his father, im his mother.  i consider him my son/ss i love him like my own. 






doesnt matter, im still mommy. 





 i dont think you get it.  this isnt some guy im dating with a kid.  ive been with him for 9 years.  this is the man im giong to marry, have my own kids with .  im the only mommy my ss knows.





are you and your husband going to split up tomorrow? i doubt it.  same with us.



 







he lives with his father.  i dont live there, thats not my mailing address.  i do sleep there, andi see my ss every day.  i havent legally changed my address or anything like that.



 



i would probably still receive them only because i claimed myself with the foodstamps.  its just a change of address.  i know people on fs that move and nothing happed to their stamps.  my thing is about  moving in/getting married im waiting til i get a job and im off of foodstamps.  i dont want to start my marriage out like that.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
gemikris82
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:47 AM

LOL LOL.......hes staying at my uncles house in the hamptons.  it was a guys weekend of beer, bbqing, and golf.  my cousins were there for my ss to play with and keep busy with.  and my uncle, father, and bf were the adults there.  so yea i was left because i didnt have junk hanging in between my legs

Quoting LiesLiesLies:

The Hamptons?

And with family? Aren't you part of that? Lol!

Wow. This story is fucking fantastic!

Yay for Saturday!

Quoting gemikris82:

 


Quoting marinenonstop:

You have no right to even bring it up to your boyfriend. Look you're saying this relationship is what works for tou guys. Then leave it alone. This is something between your boyfriend ..HIS son and the BIOLOGICAL mother. You call him your ss (but in the same post claim you are the only mother he knows ) part of being a step mom is knowing your place. Knowing that you cant involve yourself in legal matters or with trying to forge a relationship between bio mom n child. Its not your place and you are creating an unnecessary tension. If you truly love this child as your own..why in the world would you want bio mom back in the picture? ? Marry your boyfriend (after you do get engaged) and ADOPT this child.


Quoting gemikris82:


if you read the last sentence of my original post, it says i wouldnt do it without his permission.  i wouldnt jump the gun on this. 



Quoting DEJavu17:



and again, YOU have no business making the decision to involve his BM. Period.






Quoting gemikris82:



 



Quoting DEJavu17:






Quoting gemikris82:



 



Quoting DEJavu17:






Quoting gemikris82:



 



Quoting DEJavu17:



Awwww. How nice. *rolls eyes*



I bet he wouldn't mind, I mean, he's had a free babysitter all this time, why would it be any different after you're married?



Quoting gemikris82:



i dont want to be a sahm. i want to work.  hes actually more traditional, he wouldnt mind if i was a sahm



Quoting lovedogs83:



If your boyfriend makes good money, cannot he not afford for you to be SAHM?



Quoting gemikris82:



i was diagnosed 5 years ago and got approved for disability.  i think im ready to go back to work and make something of myself again.  bipolar never goes away, ill always have it, and the chances of it relapsing when stressed is very high, espc with starting a new job. but im sick of not having money.  my b/f knows that going back to work is my #1 goal right now and he totally supports me on it.



Quoting Young_Mommy89:

You're getting food stamps which is public assistance. You claim to want to get a job, if you're able then why are you collecting disability?


lol some of you women shouldnt even have children.  you gang up on one person and bully somebody over their personal choices.  yea thats not highschool behavior.



Now let's divert to the typical defensive reply that most people on here use when they are not intelligent enough to hold an adult conversation.



Let me break it down this way. Follow along.



High school behavior is playing house with a man, pretending to be his little boys mommy, and confusing him even more. YOU should have NEVER even touched this subject, and allowed his father to deal with it. When it comes to being a step-parent, you learn to STEP back, and let your SO take over. THAT is ADULT behavior. SOME of us grow up, get married, have children and step children of our own, and KNOW when we need to BACK OFF. You should not have even made him that photo album, all you did was confuse him MORE. Now you have a 4 year old that doesn't understand why his "real" mommy doesn't want him, and is sad because mommies are supposed to love their children. Your BF's brother was an ASS for teling the kid that you are not his mommy, that wasn't his place, but It was your BF's place to BE A MAN and explain this to HIS son, not you.



What are you going to do when a little ways down the road this child looks at you and says "I don't have to listen to you, you aren't my real mommy." What are you going to do then? Correct him??  Yes, you have been there, but you haven't been THERE! You are only HALF there.  Seeing a child every day does not make you his mother.



in our relationship, he considers me an equal parent.  he lets me make decisions for him, i dont need to ask his permission, he dosnt treat me like dads girlfriend.  personally i think he should of found out the truth when he was a tad bit older. thats just me.  am i going to get married? of course.  but right now my # one goal is to get a job in the mental health field.  he knows it, he  understand it, and he supports it.  I dont want to start off my marriage unemployeed and on any kind of assistance.  I want to have more children with him, and i dontwant to do that while on any form of assitance either.  I think thats irresponsible. Anyways, what makes me his mom, is my ss.  In his eyes and his heart, im mommy.  Not legally yet, but in everyother way yea i am. 



Sure. He considers you an equal parent, because you are there taking care of the kid.



And of course you are mommy in your BFs sons eyes, you are the only mother figure that has ever been there. BUT that doesn't change the fact that YOU have no right making decisions when it comes to matters of the heart. ABSOLUTELY NONE!!



again, i make decisions for him without checking in with my bf all the time.  my b/f is the father of the child, and he is perfectly fine with that.  but we arent talking about anything major either, its not like im buying him a car






 





i def see where you are coming from with the whole bio mom thing.  i just thought if she was cleaned up, and she saw him, my ss would one day thank me for bringing them together instead of resenting me thinking i kept them apart.  


as far as moving in, its going to happen.  the two of them are actually in the hamptons this weekend with family so i decided to move some of my things in......along with my cat.  and no he doesnt have a clue about the cat.  i told him about bringing over some of my things though. 


i said ill move in when i get a job, and i dont want to jinx myself but i have a good feeling about one place. 




LiesLiesLies
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 12:47 AM
Okay.



Quoting gemikris82:

LOL LOL.......hes staying at my uncles house in the hamptons.  it was a guys weekend of beer, bbqing, and golf.  my cousins were there for my ss to play with and keep busy with.  and my uncle, father, and bf were the adults there.  so yea i was left because i didnt have junk hanging in between my legs


Quoting LiesLiesLies:

The Hamptons?

And with family? Aren't you part of that? Lol!

Wow. This story is fucking fantastic!

Yay for Saturday!


Quoting gemikris82:


 



Quoting marinenonstop:

You have no right to even bring it up to your boyfriend. Look you're saying this relationship is what works for tou guys. Then leave it alone. This is something between your boyfriend ..HIS son and the BIOLOGICAL mother. You call him your ss (but in the same post claim you are the only mother he knows ) part of being a step mom is knowing your place. Knowing that you cant involve yourself in legal matters or with trying to forge a relationship between bio mom n child. Its not your place and you are creating an unnecessary tension. If you truly love this child as your own..why in the world would you want bio mom back in the picture? ? Marry your boyfriend (after you do get engaged) and ADOPT this child.



Quoting gemikris82:



if you read the last sentence of my original post, it says i wouldnt do it without his permission.  i wouldnt jump the gun on this. 




Quoting DEJavu17:




and again, YOU have no business making the decision to involve his BM. Period.








Quoting gemikris82:




 




Quoting DEJavu17:








Quoting gemikris82:




 




Quoting DEJavu17:








Quoting gemikris82:




 




Quoting DEJavu17:




Awwww. How nice. *rolls eyes*




I bet he wouldn't mind, I mean, he's had a free babysitter all this time, why would it be any different after you're married?




Quoting gemikris82:




i dont want to be a sahm. i want to work.  hes actually more traditional, he wouldnt mind if i was a sahm




Quoting lovedogs83:




If your boyfriend makes good money, cannot he not afford for you to be SAHM?




Quoting gemikris82:




i was diagnosed 5 years ago and got approved for disability.  i think im ready to go back to work and make something of myself again.  bipolar never goes away, ill always have it, and the chances of it relapsing when stressed is very high, espc with starting a new job. but im sick of not having money.  my b/f knows that going back to work is my #1 goal right now and he totally supports me on it.




Quoting Young_Mommy89:

You're getting food stamps which is public assistance. You claim to want to get a job, if you're able then why are you collecting disability?



lol some of you women shouldnt even have children.  you gang up on one person and bully somebody over their personal choices.  yea thats not highschool behavior.




Now let's divert to the typical defensive reply that most people on here use when they are not intelligent enough to hold an adult conversation.




Let me break it down this way. Follow along.




High school behavior is playing house with a man, pretending to be his little boys mommy, and confusing him even more. YOU should have NEVER even touched this subject, and allowed his father to deal with it. When it comes to being a step-parent, you learn to STEP back, and let your SO take over. THAT is ADULT behavior. SOME of us grow up, get married, have children and step children of our own, and KNOW when we need to BACK OFF. You should not have even made him that photo album, all you did was confuse him MORE. Now you have a 4 year old that doesn't understand why his "real" mommy doesn't want him, and is sad because mommies are supposed to love their children. Your BF's brother was an ASS for teling the kid that you are not his mommy, that wasn't his place, but It was your BF's place to BE A MAN and explain this to HIS son, not you.




What are you going to do when a little ways down the road this child looks at you and says "I don't have to listen to you, you aren't my real mommy." What are you going to do then? Correct him??  Yes, you have been there, but you haven't been THERE! You are only HALF there.  Seeing a child every day does not make you his mother.




in our relationship, he considers me an equal parent.  he lets me make decisions for him, i dont need to ask his permission, he dosnt treat me like dads girlfriend.  personally i think he should of found out the truth when he was a tad bit older. thats just me.  am i going to get married? of course.  but right now my # one goal is to get a job in the mental health field.  he knows it, he  understand it, and he supports it.  I dont want to start off my marriage unemployeed and on any kind of assistance.  I want to have more children with him, and i dontwant to do that while on any form of assitance either.  I think thats irresponsible. Anyways, what makes me his mom, is my ss.  In his eyes and his heart, im mommy.  Not legally yet, but in everyother way yea i am. 




Sure. He considers you an equal parent, because you are there taking care of the kid.




And of course you are mommy in your BFs sons eyes, you are the only mother figure that has ever been there. BUT that doesn't change the fact that YOU have no right making decisions when it comes to matters of the heart. ABSOLUTELY NONE!!




again, i make decisions for him without checking in with my bf all the time.  my b/f is the father of the child, and he is perfectly fine with that.  but we arent talking about anything major either, its not like im buying him a car








 






i def see where you are coming from with the whole bio mom thing.  i just thought if she was cleaned up, and she saw him, my ss would one day thank me for bringing them together instead of resenting me thinking i kept them apart.  



as far as moving in, its going to happen.  the two of them are actually in the hamptons this weekend with family so i decided to move some of my things in......along with my cat.  and no he doesnt have a clue about the cat.  i told him about bringing over some of my things though. 



i said ill move in when i get a job, and i dont want to jinx myself but i have a good feeling about one place. 






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