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at a cross roads, and i don't know what the right path to take is.

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:36 PM
  • 23 Replies

i am just.....what do i do? leave? of course i am going to leave, but now dh is begging me not to leave him, and promising we can move asap.

being alone with the kids will not only be hard, but it will hurt my kids more than anyone else.

i am just so lost.

i swear to god, i am not a bad person, i take care of our home, and kids, and work my ass off to help pay bills. i don't go looking for a fight with the inlaws, and have never treated them with the disrespect they show me.

me and dh have had our issues. but we also love each other. and i hate giving up on something we have worked so hard on.

things were going so well, it WAS getting better....and then this.

i am just so confused as to what the right move will be.

i know i have to get off this land.  do i stick it out with him and deal with these hateful people for the rest of my life?

or take the hard road, which will cause my children pain and confusion, and leave and try to make a life for us on my own?


by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
starreyedcutie
by Platinum Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:40 PM
Don't leave you dh because of your inlaws...he has to choose you over them and stand up for you. Move away
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Vicious_fairy
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:41 PM
.......


Everyday.....




Just leave already
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randomosityblog
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:44 PM

Your DH needs to follow through with his promise to move you guys away. Give him a few months. In the mean time, plan for leaving him in case it has to happen. The RIGHT path is never the easy one.

DamianaFire
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:44 PM
Only you can decide what is best for you and your kids. Whatever you do, move. If he goes with you, ok... work on things. If he doesn't, you've got your answer. Good luck.
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Apollos82
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Will it hurt you to leave your husband? Emotionally, I mean. You say it will be hard on the kids, and it will--but will it be hard for you, too?
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momoftwo0406
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:48 PM
I would leave if he dont want it to end then he would go with you or demand they show you more respect it's as simple as that. Your kids will get use to living somewhere else but they should not have to see you with hurt feelings or hear the negative things. That will hurt them more in the long run.
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boys2men2soon
by Silver Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:48 PM

I will say this:  I have been married for 18 years.  Marriage has never been work.  The one thing in life I know for certain is if the sky fell tomorrow, I would want my Dh by my side.  Period.  

If your marriage causes you stress and anxiety, unhappiness and feeling of doubt.....you need to reevaluate.




mgm_5
by Mari on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:50 PM
I think if u leave ur in-laws have won, don't give them the satisfaction, work on it and make your hubby follow thru with his promise
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ermka
by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:50 PM
Take a deep breath!!!

What's going to be worse for your kids? Living in an environment where their mom is miserable & their father isn't doing anything but making empty promises? Or getting used to a new normal where dad's still in their lives, not every day, but knowing that mommy is happy? Kids can sense this stuff, rather they actually witness the bs or not? It's.not good for them to be in such an unstable, indecisive environment either.

You need to sit down, weigh all of your pros and cons (I know it sounds cliche, but it works) make a decision & stick with it. Of course! Whatever decision you make you're going to wonder what if. But, if you make the decision based solely off of intellect, instead of emotionally, then you'll feel better about it in the long run.

I completely understand that you love him & he probably loves you too. But you need to put your foot down eventually. No one expects the decisions to be easy. But they're decisions that need to be made. The back and.forth isn't doing anything but making it a lot harder than it needs to be. *hugs*
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Mrs.VanDeKamp
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 12:58 PM

he was looking at rentals this morning, in the area of $1,500 and up. ridiculous. we can't afford that. it is cheaper to buy a house and pay a mortgage. i told him that if we bought a house, and he didn't follow through on his promise to do couples counceling, or if he was an asshole, i would simply kick him out and take over the mortgage.

i hate to be a quitter. i hate to let them win. we have our issues, but it WAS getting better before this happened.

Quoting randomosityblog:

Your DH needs to follow through with his promise to move you guys away. Give him a few months. In the mean time, plan for leaving him in case it has to happen. The RIGHT path is never the easy one.


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