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So they do chores. I am not beating them!

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Do you think giving young kids chores is abuse? A coworker came up to me and said I looked very tired. I told her that it has been a rough couple of months, but I am so happy I added dishes to my kids chores. That has helped a lot. They are still learning how to do them and I do the pans and knives. Yet, them doing their chores has been great. She looked confused for a minute and then asked how old my oldest is. He is 4. She said that children that age shouldnt be doing chores, especially dishes, and that I should be careful with my ex wanting custody and everything. Uh? I am not beating my kids. They do house cleaning. Things they messed up and dirtied! They pick up their toys, pick up the living room, set and clear the table, wipe the table and do the basic dishes. Sometimes they wash walls and help wash the tile floors. I just smiled and said I had to get back to work. Is it wrong to give young kids chores? Do you think I should be worried?
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by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 9:19 PM
Replies (101-110):
norahsmommy
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:38 PM
You are obviously a horrid mother for letting them do the dishes while building lovely memories they will carry forever. You should park them in front of the tv while you do all the work and ignore them :)


Quoting Kenre:

Did I miss something? Do you really think that my 4 year old is doing everything in this house? Do you really think I am forcing him to do anything when he does his chores? He and his brother enjoy doing the chores. It maybe takes them an hour to do them all, and that is on days they dumped their toy bins. I am right there while they do the dishes. I am cleaning the counters and stove. I am inspecting/drying and putting them away. We laugh and they get sopping wet. When they are done we take towels and wipe the floor with the water they spilled. Then we put the towels in the wash and off they go to play (usually after a shirt change).



Quoting TerrorMom:




Quoting Kool_Aide:

Quoting TerrorMom:

OK so the mom who mistakeningly sleeps through her child getting out of the house is a CPS worthy call, but the mom using her 4 year old (and younger) for slave labor is mother of the year. Wow. 





Oh please! Slave labor? Dishes, picking up toys and helping mom pick up is slave labor? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Dishes at 4? Please. She's admitted to being a very tired, very pregnant single mom. What is she NOT admitting to? Helping to do dishes is one thing, actually doing them alone is another. My boys were 10 before I trusted them enough to do dishes, and I just started letting my 15 year old do laundry a year ago. Yes chores build character and teach responsibility, but at 4, this child should be learning to pick up his own toys, not washing up after the family. 

If I'm going to be completely honest, the child did not make her a very pregnant single mom, she did, if she can't do her own household chores, then maybe they would be better off in the fathers custody. 


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catrig
by Silver Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:39 PM

As long as the chores aren't dangerous.  I'm sure they are fine.  My daughter did a good amount of chores today.  I'm paying her money to do chores so she can purchase a toy robot she wants.

ceemuhreeashbee
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:39 PM
DD is 5 and at my mom's she washes her own dishes that cant go in the dishwasher (basically sippy cups). At our house, she is responsible for picking up the living room and her room. And getting the clothes out of the dryer when they're done (aaand putting her folded clothes away). DS is 20 months old and helps me unload the dishwasher (after taking the knives out, he basically just grabs dishes out and hands them to me haha), and he helps his sister pick up.
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Brooke-Nicole
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:39 PM

A judge would laugh him out the courtroom. Nothing wrong with your kids helping you.  Obviously they won't do it prefect and you get that, but it still teaches them something!

Quoting Kenre:

He doesnt even know how to do dishes or laundry. His mom does them for him. I had to get out of bed when I was on bedrest to do them for him when he was with us. I am sure he would flip if he found out his kids were doing women jobs.

Quoting Brooke-Nicole:

He has the burden of proving you unfit if he does decide to take you to court.  Typically, unless you have an ass for a judge you have to be pretty horrible to be proven unfit.  It's likely that he's just threatening anyways. 

Quoting Kenre:

I have full physical and full legal custody of them. He keeps threatening, but I havent seen anything legal.



Quoting Brooke-Nicole:

There is no harm in teaching them to help!  As long as you're there supervising.  The kids probably love it!

And in order for him to get custody (assuming you have it right now) he has to prove you unfit as a mother to get custody. It's very hard to do if someone is actually unfit.



norahsmommy
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:41 PM
What do you mean?


Quoting christina0607:

Also, how are you getting the water hot enough to make this sanitary?

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sheramom4
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:41 PM

My kids have had chores since the age of 2. At that age it was bringing their clothes to the laundry, picking up toys, and wiping down the table after meals. By 4 ALL 4 of them could load the dishwasher, except pans and knifes. At 16, 13, 10, and 8 they have rotating chores that include dishes, sorting laundry, yard work, sweeping, mopping etc. And my teens have to cook dinner for the entire family once per week. There is nothing wrong with chores. Anything they do above and beyond their daily chore they get paid for. Oh, and they have to clean up their own messes and keep up their rooms. I am not just raising children, i am rasing future adults!

Whisper85
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:42 PM

Well my 4 year old helps with the dishes, he just rinses everything except for knives and the silverware ( with help ) My kids also pick up after themselves and wipe down the walls, or they wipe down the door to the oven or wipe down the table. They just like helping mama out. I think as long as you are supervising it's okay.

CrystalDawn2506
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:43 PM

Heck no it isn't lol. My DD picks up her room & cleans her bathroom . She is 5 and understands she can not get rewards unless her chores are done.

Kenre
by Ruby Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:43 PM
Excuse me? Not coddling my kids and treating them as responsible young people is having issues? Helping out your family (or your mom) isnt a bad thing. You must be the type of person who could watch your mother struggle and think she isnt making your sandwhich fast enough and why doesnt she just hurry up and give it to you already? My kids want to help me. They are excited to be getting to do big kid things and cant wait for their baby sister.

Quoting pasteeater:

At four yrs old huh? So you have issues and you have your kids take care of it. Just lovely.



Quoting Kenre:

I am not lazy! I work all day long and am a single, very pregnant, mom! They want to do the dishes so I taught them. They love helping me. I dont let them do the pans or knives.





Quoting pasteeater:

Four yrs is way too young to do dishes. How lazy are you?
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christina0607
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:45 PM
You know...when dishes are washed you need to use very hot water. If not, you aren't killing the bacteria on them. Which is pretty gross. That's why using a dishwasher is the easiest way to keep your dishes sanitary, it can get hotter than any hand washing.
But how hot can a 4yo be expected to stand?


Quoting norahsmommy:

What do you mean?




Quoting christina0607:

Also, how are you getting the water hot enough to make this sanitary?

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