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How do I do this...? *please read*

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:15 PM
  • 28 Replies
1 mom liked this

After sitting down and doing a lot of thinking, I realized just how psychologically abusive my fiance has been. He's controlling, possessive, he's always guilt-tripping me, and dismissing me whenever my opinion doesn't agree with his. I've given him so many chances, but I can't put up with it any more.

Here's my plan: Get my license, get a job, get a car. Get to where I am able to support myself on my own, and then kick him out. 

The problem: DD's condition makes it impossible to work, plus I have crippling ocholophobia and claustrophobia which makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to work in any crowded or cramped enviroment. 

So...Should I just get stable now and kick him out? Or wait until DD passes away?

I love my fiance, but I can't deal with his BS anymore and I need to do what's best for me. 

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GreenEyePixie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:16 PM
What's ocholophobia?

Can you get a job that is outside?

Did you try counceling for him?

Hugs!
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lovinmykiddo07
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:16 PM

Have you talked to him about how you feel? Have you guys been to any therapy since you've had your daughter? I do not think you should stay with someone if they are abusive, however, I do think that concidering everything you two have been though, therapy might help. Has he always been this way or is this new behavior?

Ashley_Carlson
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:17 PM

Fear of crowds

Quoting GreenEyePixie:

What's ocholophobia?

Can you get a job that is outside?

Did you try counceling for him?

Hugs!


Ashley_Carlson
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:17 PM

He's always been this way. I've tried talking to him about it, but he just dismisses me as being hormonal.

Quoting lovinmykiddo07:

Have you talked to him about how you feel? Have you guys been to any therapy since you've had your daughter? I do not think you should stay with someone if they are abusive, however, I do think that concidering everything you two have been though, therapy might help. Has he always been this way or is this new behavior?


Caitlinsmom09
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:18 PM
Bump
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GreenEyePixie
by Ruby Member on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:18 PM
Ahhhhh I am a dumbass. I thought that fell under claustrophobia.

Quoting Ashley_Carlson:

Fear of crowds

Quoting GreenEyePixie:

What's ocholophobia?



Can you get a job that is outside?



Did you try counceling for him?



Hugs!


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Ashley_Carlson
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:19 PM

The two are often assosciated

Quoting GreenEyePixie:

Ahhhhh I am a dumbass. I thought that fell under claustrophobia.

Quoting Ashley_Carlson:

Fear of crowds

Quoting GreenEyePixie:

What's ocholophobia?



Can you get a job that is outside?



Did you try counceling for him?



Hugs!



Mrs.Brugger
by Tiara on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:20 PM

would you be able to find a [flexible] work from home job? Or even 'your own business' type thing?

I also think that when DD passes, you two will cling to each other looking for support and comfort and you won't be able to leave him, if that makes sense? I'm having a hard time saying what I think. umm. And she might stick it out for along time and you shouldn't have to let yourself get hurt and push your feelings off to the side.

grey7399
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:20 PM
1 mom liked this

oh man - I say - get stable now and pitch him out.  Pitching him out after your daughter passes will not be any better than now.

lovinmykiddo07
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:20 PM

I hate it when guys do that, blame everything on hormones. :(

If it were me, I'd just straight up tell SO that if he didn't start taking my feelings into account then I would find someone else that would. Sometimes it takes being straight up honest. Let him know if he doesn't agree to counceling then you are done. You need someone to help you & support you with all that you have going on. You at deserve that.

Quoting Ashley_Carlson:

He's always been this way. I've tried talking to him about it, but he just dismisses me as being hormonal.

Quoting lovinmykiddo07:

Have you talked to him about how you feel? Have you guys been to any therapy since you've had your daughter? I do not think you should stay with someone if they are abusive, however, I do think that concidering everything you two have been though, therapy might help. Has he always been this way or is this new behavior?




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