am i being in considerate here? please tell me honestly UPDATE WE TALKED ...IT DIDNT GO WELL..Another update
my best friend is getting married january. i am in her wedding and she lives in another state. df and i wanted to get married on our anniversary which was january 7th but being thats the week she chose to get married we decided to pick a different month. Df and i have been throwing ideas around and with my being in school it would be easiest to get married when i was on winter break in december.
my bestfriend asked when our wedding was going to be and i said well df and i were talking about december if we can get the church we want. she then says " you cannot get married in december!!" i asked why and she says " thats a month before MY wedding!" am i being inconsiderate here? df and i are so excited to be able to finally get married and now my best friend is telling me i cant do it when df and i want to. hell she got to choose her day and no one got say, if it didnt work for them then oh well. now she wants me to plan mine x amount of time before or after hers?? maybe im being inconsiderate but i always feel like i have to bend over backwards to make everyone else happy and my feelings never count. This day should be about me and df, not the rest of the world and their liking. am i wrong here honestly??? ( we are both in each others weddings by the way.)
Small edit. .... her and i live 5 states away from each other. we are not having ANY of the same people at our weddings. my wedding in no way hinders hers. the only inconvenience she would have is getting to my wedding and spending a weekend at most out of town. her and her df are financially fine. his family has money and pays for their house and their wedding. they claim to have no money, but she admits its because her and her df are very materialistic and live their lives accordingly. i honestly feel like im supposed to bend and do whatever she wants, hell she wont even give me the title as MOH because she claims its the MOH's job to pay for the bachelorette party and she wants a a limo ride to the Poconos and a cabin for the weekend for her and all the girls, and know si cannot afford it so if she has her cousin be MOH or think shes MOH then her aunt will pay for the bachelorette party.
UPdate: well we talked and she bitched me out. told me shes been engaged for a year and has paid $1000s of dollars so she cant move her wedding (i never asked her two) i told her that if it was up to us we would be getting married january 7th but because her wedding is the 12th i knew she wouldnt be able to make it. she then tells me a month before her wedding is to busy for her and i cant have my wedding then, she says shes having a bigger wedding and has more details and needs to be meeting with florists ect. and THAT SHE WOULD MOVE HER WEDDING FOR ME IF SHE COULD. she then tells me my aunt isnt happy about it either and why am i inconveniencing everyone else for a time of year i dont definitely want ( i wanted may of this year but my ex refused to sign when he heard i was getting married so i couldn't choose the day i wanted) she tells me i should wait till next spring to get married and stop rushing into this...rushing into it really??? we have been together for 4 years, he has patiently waited for my ex to agree to this divorce so we can move on with our lives. she said well u guys are going to be together forever so why cant you just wait? then changes everything and says if she thought this was a day i really wanted and saw myself getting married she would come down but she doesnt believe that this is the wedding i want. and that i need to stop and think. she said she didnt want to take from my day either. at this point i was in tears on the phone and said this is a pointless conversation right now ( i didnt see it ending well had i stayed on the phone being i was in tears and still am. i am so hurt that my best friend and my family are so against my wedding being in 8 months. why do i have to be guilted into everything and made to feel like shit for something i was so excited about... im about to say fuck it and me df and dd will go have a private ceremony ( not what i really want ) and screw everyone else who is so inconvenienced by my wedding...
im sorry im having like i a break down my family has never been there and done everything to make me feel guilty and hearing that not only my best friend but my family as well once again put everything else and everyone else before me just kills me. i dont know why i wanted a stupid wedding in the first place...
UPDATE AGAIN!......I went wedding dress shopping with my soon to be mil. after leaving and finding a dress i absolutely love but wasn't sure because everyone else loved the other one better i sent my best friend the pictures for her opinion , she gave her input and all was going well till she started with the "are you still planning on getting married in December? because im telling you right now if it is i wont be able to make it. its a month before mine and i have a new job i just cant take off for my wedding and yours. ( shes a teacher ) . i told her i was so sick of this crap and everyone having an issue im about to go elope. and she said i need to decide what more important to me having my best friend at my wedding or having my wedding this December." she then told me i will break her heart if she cant come, and that she doesn't understand why im rushing it. she shut up real quick when i reminded her df and i have been together for almost 5 years! and have been wanting to for 3 but couldn't because of my ex! and thats shes the one who got engaged after a year together and got pregnant just so he would marry her!( i left out the last statement about getting pregnant but damn i wanted to remind her of that!!!) so i came home to df cried that i have no MOH and that my best friend is showing her true colors after over 12 years of friendship and i have now come to terms that she will not be at my wedding. i will get married when df and i want. apparently in her mind df has no say in when we get married!! i have had it, i am hurt, and angry and now have no moh and no brides maids but thats fine! df me and dd are all i need to be present some of his family will come and one or two of mine will come the rest can kiss my ass!!!! this day is supposed to be about me and df and dd not everyone else!!!