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Long vent about sister

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:13 PM
  • 14 Replies

I am 29 weeks along and called my sister, who lives 2,000 miles away. That was a mistake. We have gotten very close the past few years. She and I are talking and she starts telling me about a house that someone in her husband's family is selling and how she is certain they could work something out with us, because she wants me closer. Then, she started sobbing about how much she misses me and my son and this baby and how I have missed so much with her sons. I explained, we don't have the money to make that kind of move, right now. That I refuse to pay as much as that house is going to cost, we just bought a house we are fixing and are going to flip. In three years, we will have no mortgage and land and our own house, if we stick with my plan and save and use taxes and flip this house- it will be very feasible. That if we were to move, it would not be so far away. The schools are better here, there are more job opprunties, more racial diversity, better costs for housing, my husband's company loves him and is grooming him so he can open his own shop.... There are a million reasons to stay where we are- none of which are acceptable to her as she just sobs and tries to shoot down each one. 

I explain that once her husband is out of the military, they can come live down this way. She told me she didn't want to have to fly back up there to see that part of the family at $400 a ticket. I explained we have five times the amount of family less than a tank of gas away, who would love to see our kids, just as much. The schools are better and there are so many good colleges here. Doesn't matter to her. She is worried about the weather. Fair enough. 

We let this subject drop, because we are both getting emotional. Then, she starts whining about how she is missing out on so much not knowing if I am having a boy or girl and she "guesses" she could wait a little longer to find. When is my next ultrasound, she knows I'll be getting another one because they HAD to do an ultrasound on her son at the end to see if he was breech.... The third of NEVER! I only got one ultrasound to confirm this pregnancy was not another ectopic pregnancy and that I did not have placental previa and baby was generally doing well. There is no other medical reason to do one at this point, so I am not going to subject my baby to that. Any compentant provider (any one can actually, I know how!) can tell the position the baby that far along WITHOUT an ultrasound! She didn't like my answer... 

Sorry, I am already a hormonal mess and having pain so bad I can barely walk. I really don't feel like me, anyway. : *( This did not make me feel better. I don't want to disappoint her, but I can't uproot my life to live in a place I am not comfortable with- that I RAN from as quickly as I could, my very first chance. I hate missing out on so much, but I have so much more to gain being here.

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Paperfishies
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:19 PM

Subject your baby to an ultrasound?

Numom61507
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:21 PM

 She is probably having a lonely day and you ended up catching her at a bad time. It's never a good idea to move for someone else. You have your family and your life right where you are. It sounds like you have the next few years planned out and that's a beautiful thing!

KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:23 PM
1 mom liked this

What happens to a baby in an ultrasound?

Paperfishies
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:24 PM

Nothing, lol.

I had an ultrasound once a week, the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy to monitor the size of her.

Quoting KimmyShaw:

What happens to a baby in an ultrasound?


1990-mommyof4
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:27 PM



Quoting Paperfishies:

Subject your baby to an ultrasound?


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kansasmom1978
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:27 PM

I agree you should stick to your plan.

KimmyShaw
by Ruby Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:27 PM

I didnt think so... ;P

To confirm I just googled it and there are no findings that I saw where it is has been known to cause harm.

Quoting Paperfishies:

Nothing, lol.

I had an ultrasound once a week, the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy to monitor the size of her.

Quoting KimmyShaw:

What happens to a baby in an ultrasound?

 


louzannalady
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:48 PM

This is just one link, but it had some great information. It is just not proven to be 100% safe and I prefer not to take an unneeded risk. It's just me. 

http://www.cafemom.com/group/14077/forums/read/16259807/Are_you_concerned_about_ultrasound_and_doppler_risks

Quoting Paperfishies:

Subject your baby to an ultrasound?


Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

louzannalady
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:48 PM

This is just one link, but it had some great information. It is just not proven to be 100% safe and I prefer not to take an unneeded risk. It's just me. 

http://www.cafemom.com/group/14077/forums/read/16259807/Are_you_concerned_about_ultrasound_and_doppler_risks

Quoting KimmyShaw:

What happens to a baby in an ultrasound?


Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

vegepunkstr
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you are over reacting just a bit. She just loves you and misses you. I live far from my sister and I am always trying to get her to move closer to me. She has thought about it but it doesnt work for her right now but I still let her know I would love for her to be close to us.



vegepunkstr. Get yours at bighugelabs.com

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