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FED UP...what would you do?

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:34 PM
  • 11 Replies

my ex's gf doesn't think that he should have to pay child support. Her reasoning is:

1) My SO is very succesful and provides wonderfully for me and my kids.

2) I am a SAHM, so she should be as well. My ex makes very little, and she got pregnant 4 years ago even though they had nothing at the time. She refuses to clean, take care of her child, work...and when she does, it's "her" money. she will literally NOT purchase diapers for her own child with her paycheck.

3) they are on PA, FS and everything else because she just won't work, and my ex is in a quickly dying field.

4) I got to be a SAHM when I was married to him.

I haven't seen a dime in 3 years. My children have EVERYTHING due to my SO. She vacations, leaves her kid for weeks with her mom, gets her nails and hair done, and eats out most nights. She sees NOTHIING wrong with her reasoning and my ex...well, he tries, but he's completely financially responsible for the child they have...Him and her mom, actually.

She is young, obviously immature. I can;t even reason with them anymore. I don't want to do the court thing-I feel that my ex is between a rock and hard place. Anything that he does to try to help their lives-get a better job, pay off bills, move to a better area-and she threatens to take the little one and leave. I actually get along with this man and don't want to play hard ball.....but it's money that belongs to my CHILD.

ugggh...I hate confrontation SO much. just needed to vent.

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MissLinn
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:36 PM
Good thing she doesn't have a say.
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beerebelly
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:36 PM

 How does she have money to get her nails done etc if she doesn't work?

bluejupalex
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:37 PM
1 mom liked this

 I don't see that you have much choice but to go the court route.  Let him know that he's court ordered to pay x amount of child support/month, and if he doesn't pay by such and such date, you'll be forced to take him back to court - and they WILL make him pay back child support as well.

It doesn't matter what his little girlfriend thinks.  The court's order trumps her opinion any day.

kryptomom
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:39 PM
Looks like court or nothing. Sorry.
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skittlebeans88
by Traci on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:39 PM


Quoting bluejupalex:

 I don't see that you have much choice but to go the court route.  Let him know that he's court ordered to pay x amount of child support/month, and if he doesn't pay by such and such date, you'll be forced to take him back to court - and they WILL make him pay back child support as well.


It doesn't matter what his little girlfriend thinks.  The court's order trumps her opinion any day.

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mom_dl6
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:40 PM

I'd say she has few screws loose...Stupid ppl make me laugh and sometimes slam my head against the wall LOL !

JaimieLynn8
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:41 PM
I'm really sensitive to child support stuff because my dad was horribly screwed over by my mom.
Aside from the fact that he shouldn't be with her...
Is he a good dad? Does he see your kid(s) often, when he does will he buy him anything they need?
Sounds like he is a decent guy and he needs the money right now. Personally, if your SO is supporting you and you are comfortable, I wouldn't worry about the money right now. If you take him to court and he can't pay, they'll send him to jail. My mom has done that multiple times to my dad in the past few years and it's horrible.
Personally I'd rather have my kid(s) just have a good relationship with their dad than see him struggle to make ends meet.
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cthemoon
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:52 PM

he sees his daughter several times a year-we live in seperate areas. He has been in and out of her life, but pretty consistent as she's gotten older. He's been through aLOT, and I know he's doing the best he can. I just know it's my child's money. I agree with what you've ended your post with....but I am pressured by MY family to follow thorugh....the thing is, I know he is struggling, and I care deeply for his little one. I can't stomach things being worse for that baby...I seem to care more about GFs and his child, then she does about his child with me-whom she's known for 8 years. I try to take the high road...but it's still so frustrating.

oh, and her mom hands her cash for everything-heance the spending on herself.

Quoting JaimieLynn8:

I'm really sensitive to child support stuff because my dad was horribly screwed over by my mom.
Aside from the fact that he shouldn't be with her...
Is he a good dad? Does he see your kid(s) often, when he does will he buy him anything they need?
Sounds like he is a decent guy and he needs the money right now. Personally, if your SO is supporting you and you are comfortable, I wouldn't worry about the money right now. If you take him to court and he can't pay, they'll send him to jail. My mom has done that multiple times to my dad in the past few years and it's horrible.
Personally I'd rather have my kid(s) just have a good relationship with their dad than see him struggle to make ends meet.


grey7399
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:46 PM

yeah - I wouldn't let him skate simply because SHE has a lesson to learn.  geezus I hate kids with babies.

cthemoon
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:51 PM

oohh, k, sorry, I think I am older then my post made me sound-when I said she was young and immature-she is, 29, I think. I am just suddenly an old person;) she just ACTS 16-and gets treated that way.

Quoting grey7399:

yeah - I wouldn't let him skate simply because SHE has a lesson to learn.  geezus I hate kids with babies.


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