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Got to get her under control!!! HELP!!! (PIOG)

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Alright DD was up until recently a well behaved, well mannered little girl. BUT here recently she has gone off the deep end. It was was little things to start with and then today I swear her head spun. I was watching a friend of hers because her mom needed a sitter (no biggie). DS hit her friend with a jump rope for not doing what she wanted her to do. BIG NO NO we do not hit in my house!! She had to write sentences, apologize and I took away all electronics for the rest of the weekend (she cant have them during the week normally). And had her friend just been over to play I would have sent her home but I'm not punishing her mom because my kid cant behave. She then proceeded to go back to playing and then was screaming at the top of her lungs at DS (2). Also a big NO NO, we don't yell at each other. (this includes adults) Then she lied to me about it even though I was right there and saw her do it. She had to write sentences again, she lost her books in bed privilege for the rest of the weekend (normally I try to avoid taking away books when I can) and had to apologize for that too. THEN she put our 18 yo cat in a bag and was carrying her around the house and when I told her to put her down she told me NANA SAID I COULD (yelling at me and she lied) I made her write sentences (this is now up to 60 lines) and made her do chores, so she couldn't play for awhile. And then she "told on" me. She went to my mom and told her I was being mean to her. In fairness my mom told her to get over it she was getting off light for what would have happened to me for acting that way in her house when I was a kid. 

Previous offenses: she called my mom fat (she so knows better), she threw a game at my SD because he wasnt letting her win (no one ever does you dont learn anything that way), she will run up when two people are talking and scream until they stop talking and so on. All of this has been over the last month, maybe two.

Sorry so long. Please don't just tell me my kids a brat that is so not helpful, I know she is acting like a snot and want real advice on how to stop it!

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 2:27 AM
Replies (21-30):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:20 AM

To rule that out you can make an appointment with her doctor. Depending on if she trusts the doctor, could possibly tell them what is going on to make her so mean towards others.  Yes it would be much easier for us moms to deal with hormonal meanness than our children just being mean for "fun".

Quoting Newfie_Mom:

Another mom suggested this too and I am hoping not too. I hadnt even considered it until she mentioned it, then I remembered I was early. I was 9 almost 10 early. But at the same time, as I told her I think I might be able to handle that a little better than my daughter is just mean. Especially since I went through it.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I am hoping for your sake it isnt precocious puberty (early puberty). That is a struggle for whole family especially the child since they really arent ready to handle those hormones surging through.



Newfie_Mom
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:25 AM

She needs a different doc she doesn't like the one she has as is, so maybe once we switch she will like the new one better. My brother is coming to town next weekend for her dance recital and she loves her uncle so I might ask him to see if maybe they can go do something and see if she will open up to him. My only other family member she might tell is my cousin (he is quite a few years younger than me, he was a whoops baby) they are closer in age and she might open up to him because he isn't a grown up but I am not sure I would want him to do that and then her think he betrayed her trust

Quoting frndlyfn:

To rule that out you can make an appointment with her doctor. Depending on if she trusts the doctor, could possibly tell them what is going on to make her so mean towards others.  Yes it would be much easier for us moms to deal with hormonal meanness than our children just being mean for "fun".

Quoting Newfie_Mom:

Another mom suggested this too and I am hoping not too. I hadnt even considered it until she mentioned it, then I remembered I was early. I was 9 almost 10 early. But at the same time, as I told her I think I might be able to handle that a little better than my daughter is just mean. Especially since I went through it.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I am hoping for your sake it isnt precocious puberty (early puberty). That is a struggle for whole family especially the child since they really arent ready to handle those hormones surging through.




Newfie_Mom
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:28 AM

Is there a way to check hormone levels in a child that young with out scaring the daylights out of her? Just curious, I know you said doctor for talking but that made me think of that too.

And her just being mean for "fun", would just break my heart she knows better, we dont act that way. 

Quoting frndlyfn:

To rule that out you can make an appointment with her doctor. Depending on if she trusts the doctor, could possibly tell them what is going on to make her so mean towards others.  Yes it would be much easier for us moms to deal with hormonal meanness than our children just being mean for "fun".

Quoting Newfie_Mom:

Another mom suggested this too and I am hoping not too. I hadnt even considered it until she mentioned it, then I remembered I was early. I was 9 almost 10 early. But at the same time, as I told her I think I might be able to handle that a little better than my daughter is just mean. Especially since I went through it.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I am hoping for your sake it isnt precocious puberty (early puberty). That is a struggle for whole family especially the child since they really arent ready to handle those hormones surging through.




strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:32 AM
Sounds like shes testing you my 11 year old daughter started testing mt at age 7 we do spank but as a last resort i used to make her write a hundred lines at a time she calmed down
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Newfie_Mom
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:38 AM

No bashing spanking from me. we did it as a last resort here too once upon a time. It doesn't work for her, she reasons one second of pain is worth it for the act. And there is no lasting effect. She has to have punishments that last more than one second. And I refuse to spank my two year old when half the time I cant tell if he even knows what he did wrong. (this will not be the case when he is older and I know he knows what he did) though I don't see it working any better for him than her. 

As for testing me, I can only hope. Because again, I would so rather she was testing me than just being mean for the fun of it, or the other option, the other moms brought to my attention,  I hadn't thought of which is early puberty. 

Quoting strictmomhere:

Sounds like shes testing you my 11 year old daughter started testing mt at age 7 we do spank but as a last resort i used to make her write a hundred lines at a time she calmed down


frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 4:17 AM

I think it is only a blood test as well as looking for the physical signs.  I havent been through it personally so i am guessing on what friends have gone through.  Hopefully the family visiting will help calm her down though.  We dont permit anyone being mean either in our family.  I have actually scolded the adult step children when they are mean to their mom.

Quoting Newfie_Mom:

Is there a way to check hormone levels in a child that young with out scaring the daylights out of her? Just curious, I know you said doctor for talking but that made me think of that too.

And her just being mean for "fun", would just break my heart she knows better, we dont act that way. 

Quoting frndlyfn:

To rule that out you can make an appointment with her doctor. Depending on if she trusts the doctor, could possibly tell them what is going on to make her so mean towards others.  Yes it would be much easier for us moms to deal with hormonal meanness than our children just being mean for "fun".

Quoting Newfie_Mom:

Another mom suggested this too and I am hoping not too. I hadnt even considered it until she mentioned it, then I remembered I was early. I was 9 almost 10 early. But at the same time, as I told her I think I might be able to handle that a little better than my daughter is just mean. Especially since I went through it.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I am hoping for your sake it isnt precocious puberty (early puberty). That is a struggle for whole family especially the child since they really arent ready to handle those hormones surging through.


 



Newfie_Mom
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 4:21 AM

My mom told me something when I was younger that stuck with me forever!!!!

"Yelling shows the world you dont have the vocabulary to express what you want said and makes you look ignorant, being mean just proves it."

(not saying it to you obviously just thought for someone else who doesnt allow being mean you would like the quote)

Quoting frndlyfn:

I think it is only a blood test as well as looking for the physical signs.  I havent been through it personally so i am guessing on what friends have gone through.  Hopefully the family visiting will help calm her down though.  We dont permit anyone being mean either in our family.  I have actually scolded the adult step children when they are mean to their mom.

Quoting Newfie_Mom:

Is there a way to check hormone levels in a child that young with out scaring the daylights out of her? Just curious, I know you said doctor for talking but that made me think of that too.

And her just being mean for "fun", would just break my heart she knows better, we dont act that way. 

Quoting frndlyfn:

To rule that out you can make an appointment with her doctor. Depending on if she trusts the doctor, could possibly tell them what is going on to make her so mean towards others.  Yes it would be much easier for us moms to deal with hormonal meanness than our children just being mean for "fun".

Quoting Newfie_Mom:

Another mom suggested this too and I am hoping not too. I hadnt even considered it until she mentioned it, then I remembered I was early. I was 9 almost 10 early. But at the same time, as I told her I think I might be able to handle that a little better than my daughter is just mean. Especially since I went through it.

Quoting frndlyfn:

I am hoping for your sake it isnt precocious puberty (early puberty). That is a struggle for whole family especially the child since they really arent ready to handle those hormones surging through.






frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 4:25 AM

Ty that is a good one.  I have used a variation of that for needless cussing/swearing since i can stand that either.  I see yelling and/or being mean an adult having a temper tantrum just like the quote says. They dont have the vocabulary to express themselves.

Quoting Newfie_Mom:

My mom told me something when I was younger that stuck with me forever!!!!

"Yelling shows the world you dont have the vocabulary to express what you want said and makes you look ignorant, being mean just proves it."

(not saying it to you obviously just thought for someone else who doesnt allow being mean you would like the quote)

Quoting frndlyfn:

I think it is only a blood test as well as looking for the physical signs.  I havent been through it personally so i am guessing on what friends have gone through.  Hopefully the family visiting will help calm her down though.  We dont permit anyone being mean either in our family.  I have actually scolded the adult step children when they are mean to their mom.

 

 

Bookoholic
by Silver Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 4:27 AM
This maybe very far fetched but maybe not ever herd of PANDAS? Its a health problem.
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jeantyou
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 4:31 AM

 as a mom .you do feel happiness .

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