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Purity Balls, Rings and Promises

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What are your thoughts on this? Do you plan on having your DD make any sort of Purity Promise?

For those that don't know what this is....


“If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed”.

-Albert Einstein

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Replies (41-50):
LoriLou75
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:35 AM

OK

I disagree that purity pledges are the answer to this though. In fact, IMO, they are making it much worse. The whole idea of "purity" reinforces "sexualized culture".  I don't think safe sex teaches that sex is safe. It teaches that theree are safer ways to have sex. If you don't tecah your children this they will not know it, or worse, they will learn from their friends, or from trial and error.

Quoting Apollos82:

Of course you won't be removing them. I would be appalled if you did!

What I mean is that we take measures to protect our animals from harm that premature sex can cause. For example, a dog breeder will not breed a dog before it is fully mature. Yes, the dog could have puppies at that age, yes the puppies would be fine, but the mother would not. So, because the breeder cares for the dog and cares for their investment, he takes care to ensure it does not have sex too early.

But we do not seem to take the same care with our own children. 16 is too young to be having sex. The consiquenses of sex that young are huge and more far reaching than I think we even understand.

We are quickly becoming an overly-sexualized culture. This is not a healthy environment for our children, nor is teaching our children about "safe" sex doing us any favors to prevent the onslaught of sexual messages and over-emphasis on sexuality our culture seems to highlight. Overly sexual or sexually deviated cultures rarely last long term, in the grand scheme of things.


Quoting LoriLou75:

I think it is damaging. 

I am not getting your point with the animals. I spayed my dog, you bet your ass I will NOT be removing my childrens sex organs!


Quoting Apollos82:

I don't thi k it psycho one bite. We wonder why society is going down hill, yet we pride ourselves in being "progressive" enough that we allow our children to have sex. They are still children--still not fully grown! We try to prevent animals from mating until they are fully grown, but not our own children? It's rediculous.



I don't know what we will do to encourage purity in our children, but it WILL be happening.




“If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed”.

-Albert Einstein

Sailor_nena
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:37 AM
1 mom liked this
That is disturbing. Gross.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
RobinBright
by Gold Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this

We are raising our children to be dignified and to make smart choices.  All we can do is empower them and educate them-- the promises they make to themselves are the ones that matter, not promises they make to others.  I will not be the one making decisions about their sexuality, they will.   

inspain
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:39 AM
3 moms liked this

LOL.  Purity balls?  Are those like Ben Wa balls?

LoriLou75
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:43 AM

LMAO!!!!!

Quoting inspain:

LOL.  Purity balls?  Are those like Ben Wa balls?



“If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed”.

-Albert Einstein

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:45 AM
I have no plans for anything like that. My parents me to just say no. I did until I was in college (I was not a slut by any stretch). My kids are 11 and 7 and I tell them they have to wait until they're married to have a baby (can't get married until they're 30...LOL!). But realistically, I know when they're a little older we'll talk to them about responsibility and respecting their bodies and then hope they make good choices. Ultimately, it's their decision, I can't be with them 24/7 forever.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Apollos82
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:54 AM
I'm not sure that all this purity stuff is helpful, either. It puts a massive taboo on sex for conservative cultures. Then, later, there are problems in the bedroom for many, many marriages of these conservative people. My parents did the purity ring thing, but I think they did it right. They taught me that sex isn't BAD. It GREAT, actually. But it has a place, in a relationship. Not in a fling and not as a handshake, like it is for some people.

...but I also don't agree with the attitude "they're going to do it anyway, so let's give them condoms and BC." there has to be a happy medium...

I will teach my children that sex is for marriage because that I what I believe and what I have learned, from my own experiences, is best. I will also teach them about STD's pregnancy, etc. they will know that IF they must engage in sex, to be "safe" but the only truly safe sex, physically and emotionally, is in a safe and committed relationship.


Quoting LoriLou75:

OK

I disagree that purity pledges are the answer to this though. In fact, IMO, they are making it much worse. The whole idea of "purity" reinforces "sexualized culture".  I don't think safe sex teaches that sex is safe. It teaches that theree are safer ways to have sex. If you don't tecah your children this they will not know it, or worse, they will learn from their friends, or from trial and error.

Quoting Apollos82:

Of course you won't be removing them. I would be appalled if you did!



What I mean is that we take measures to protect our animals from harm that premature sex can cause. For example, a dog breeder will not breed a dog before it is fully mature. Yes, the dog could have puppies at that age, yes the puppies would be fine, but the mother would not. So, because the breeder cares for the dog and cares for their investment, he takes care to ensure it does not have sex too early.



But we do not seem to take the same care with our own children. 16 is too young to be having sex. The consiquenses of sex that young are huge and more far reaching than I think we even understand.



We are quickly becoming an overly-sexualized culture. This is not a healthy environment for our children, nor is teaching our children about "safe" sex doing us any favors to prevent the onslaught of sexual messages and over-emphasis on sexuality our culture seems to highlight. Overly sexual or sexually deviated cultures rarely last long term, in the grand scheme of things.




Quoting LoriLou75:

I think it is damaging. 

I am not getting your point with the animals. I spayed my dog, you bet your ass I will NOT be removing my childrens sex organs!


Quoting Apollos82:

I don't thi k it psycho one bite. We wonder why society is going down hill, yet we pride ourselves in being "progressive" enough that we allow our children to have sex. They are still children--still not fully grown! We try to prevent animals from mating until they are fully grown, but not our own children? It's rediculous.





I don't know what we will do to encourage purity in our children, but it WILL be happening.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Paperfishies
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I haven't read each comment in this thread so i don't know if it has been asked...But what about purity balls for boys?  Mother/son purity dance?  Why is all of the attention on the female and her sexuality?  What about all of these shit head teenage boys who run around putting their dicks into anything with a hole?

These purity balls IMO are demeaning and just really piss me off and gross me the fuck out.

Apollos82
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:55 AM
I kept thinking of Shvetty Balls or however that one Baldwin SNL sketch goes...LOL

Quoting inspain:

LOL.  Purity balls?  Are those like Ben Wa balls?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Apollos82
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:56 AM
I agree that too much emphasis is placed on a young woman's purity over a young man's in conservative cultures.

Quoting Paperfishies:

I haven't read each comment in this thread so i don't know if it has been asked...But what about purity balls for boys?  Mother/son purity dance?  Why is all of the attention on the female and her sexuality?  What about all of these shit head teenage boys who run around putting their dicks into anything with a hole?


These purity balls IMO are demeaning and just really piss me off and gross me the fuck out.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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