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You may THINK your child is well behaved but he is actually a brat!

 This is what I think about the majority of children that I come into contact with.  I dont understand why parents allow their children to: talk back, run around touching everything, argue with the parent, whine, throw temper tantrums, scream and cry to get their way, and just basically be rude little urchins.  I have five children that have been taught that you dont tlak back to an adult, you dont dare act up in public, you may ask for something once and I will either say yes or no but you may not whine, beg, or argue over my answer.  I dont care what type of discipline parents use but they need to be consistent.  I hate standing in line somewhere and listening to a parent/child argue about whether the kid is getting candy or not and then finally the parent will say " Well if you will be good the rest of the day you can have the candy" 

     WTH?  I dont bribe my children to behave I demand it...and lord help the child of mine that tells me no or dares to yell at me.  Please people wake up and realize children are not small adults they do not deserve the same treatment, respect, or privaledges adults do.  So why do you allow your child to misbehave? 

 

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Replies (131-140):
KairisMama
by Ruby Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:24 PM
MY kids are pretty behaved but they have their moments. Hey they are kids.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
amomynous_j
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:24 PM

he screams and cries b/c if he knows he does it enough, you'll buy  him that "$1 car"

Quoting lilbit53009:

lol of course i've tried all that. he still screams and cries. different things work for different kids. i'd rather just buy a $1 toy than have him scream and cry the entire time in the store. and i'm not a SAHM mom, so my trips to the store have to be done in whatever time i can fit them in. i can't just leave and come back later if we need groceries for the house.

just because i buy him a $1 toy from target...hardly means i'm setting him up to not be the best he can be. 

Quoting andersongirl562:

 

Quoting lilbit53009:

ehh i pick my battles. if that $1 car is going to keep my 3 year old quiet and happy during a trip to target...hell yea i'm going to buy it for him! lol

 But why take the easy way out?  Dont we as parents owe it to our children to raise them to be the very best that they can be?  If we teach them that alls they have to do is throw a fit and they get what they want what will happen when they are adults and try this?  If you consistently told him that if he is not quiet he will be in trouble and then followed throught with the whatever punishment you use then eventually he would learn to be quiet when told.



Liyoness
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:25 PM
Well, my kids don't do this, but some of my clients do.
What am I thinking when they do? 'Ugh. Sensory overload. And not a single person here is going to 'get it'. Ahh well. If they want to understand why he's having a melt down, they will ask me about his behaviour and what I think triggered it. Or they can offer to allow me in front of them if they are that bothered.' And no- I don't just run from the store. Helping kids through these challenges to make things easier for their parents is just one of the many wonderful things I do. I'm not easily embarrassed. Especially not by such trivial things.

Quoting andersongirl562:

 


Quoting jillbailey26:




Quoting andersongirl562:


 


Quoting LoriLou75:


I, personally, love my bratty children.


 I would honostly like to know why?  As parents it is our job to raise our children to be polite, well behaved, law abiding citizens.  Why  would you not do right by your child and teach them from a young age what is and isnt acceptable?  If you dont teach them then who will?


Because, even though her kids don't live up to your standards, she loves them anyway


Is nobody here able to give an honost anwer as to why they accept and allow their children to act bratty?  Why be defensive and smart alecky?  I honostly wonder what people are thinking when they are standing in the store begging their child to stop throwing things, screaming and yelling?



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
CaptainFeast
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:25 PM

Of course. But they are not adults, they deserve the respect one gives a child--not an adult.

For example: You see an adult run into the busy road, whatever. Your child runs into the road, you go after them, grab them, take them aside and lecture them/spank them/put them in time-out.

Quoting momswag:

I agree, they are not adults but they are people. People no matter their age, mental capacity or height deserve to be respected. 

Quoting CaptainFeast:

Bullshit. Just plain bullshit.

Children are children. They aren't "tiny adults". They act like, and think like, children. Stop expecting your children to be adults, people! 

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

Children are small adults, and deserve to be respected just like any other human being.  Don't respect your children and they won't respect you- it's that simple.




Glowing4Caleb
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:26 PM

My child knows that, too. (To be quiet in church.) We have sat in the very first row since he was a baby and he never liked the nursery, so he has always sat with us. However, sometimes he gets excited or will get antsy and move around too much. Yes, we tell him to stop. Most of the time he corrects his behavior. If he doesn't, he gets a time out when he gets home. 9 times out of 10 he is just fine. All I am saying is that every child has their moment.


Perhaps, as you say, you show your child no respect and they are terrified of you. I would rather my child be a child and act up once in a while than be terrified of me. Again, he gets corrected if he does something wrong, but I respect him and in turn, he shows me respect. I dont have to scare my child silly to behave...and it sounds like you must if your child has never done anything wrong.

Quoting andersongirl562:

 

Quoting Glowing4Caleb:

Im sorry, but EVERY Single child has their moment. I have a very well behaved little boy, but you know what....sometimes he is too loud in church, sometimes he might ask for something not on our grocery list and be upset that he can't have it, or sometimes he might get upset when I don't take him to the park while we are out running errands. He is a kid. He is human. He is still learning right from wrong at 4 years old.

If you are telling me that your child has never made a mistake, I am not buying it.

I also have a 4 yr old and I am not saying that she never makes a mistake I am saying that I am quick to correct that mistake and teach what is the correct behaviour and what is not.  But since I have been taking her to places such as church, concerts, recitals and the movies since she was a baby she know that if she needs to say something in places like that that she needs to lean close to me and whisper because I taught her that.


lilbit53009
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:28 PM

*shrug* sorry it doesn't really matter to me if you agree or not.

i do what works for me

Quoting momswag:

Of course you're going to parent as you chose but in general I cannot agree with that statement. You're teaching your child to whine/cry to get what he wants. So in order for him to behave he has to be given something. That isn't how the world works. 

Your child isn't learning that he needs to behave in public because it's the right thing to do, he's learning that his behavior controls what mommy does. Your son has control. 

Quoting lilbit53009:

lol of course i've tried all that. he still screams and cries. different things work for different kids. i'd rather just buy a $1 toy than have him scream and cry the entire time in the store. and i'm not a SAHM mom, so my trips to the store have to be done in whatever time i can fit them in. i can't just leave and come back later if we need groceries for the house.

just because i buy him a $1 toy from target...hardly means i'm setting him up to not be the best he can be. 

Quoting andersongirl562:

 

Quoting lilbit53009:

ehh i pick my battles. if that $1 car is going to keep my 3 year old quiet and happy during a trip to target...hell yea i'm going to buy it for him! lol

 But why take the easy way out?  Dont we as parents owe it to our children to raise them to be the very best that they can be?  If we teach them that alls they have to do is throw a fit and they get what they want what will happen when they are adults and try this?  If you consistently told him that if he is not quiet he will be in trouble and then followed throught with the whatever punishment you use then eventually he would learn to be quiet when told.




andersongirl562
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:33 PM

 

Quoting Glowing4Caleb:

My child knows that, too. (To be quiet in church.) We have sat in the very first row since he was a baby and he never liked the nursery, so he has always sat with us. However, sometimes he gets excited or will get antsy and move around too much. Yes, we tell him to stop. Most of the time he corrects his behavior. If he doesn't, he gets a time out when he gets home. 9 times out of 10 he is just fine. All I am saying is that every child has their moment.

 

Perhaps, as you say, you show your child no respect and they are terrified of you. I would rather my child be a child and act up once in a while than be terrified of me. Again, he gets corrected if he does something wrong, but I respect him and in turn, he shows me respect. I dont have to scare my child silly to behave...and it sounds like you must if your child has never done anything wrong.

Quoting andersongirl562:

 

Quoting Glowing4Caleb:

Im sorry, but EVERY Single child has their moment. I have a very well behaved little boy, but you know what....sometimes he is too loud in church, sometimes he might ask for something not on our grocery list and be upset that he can't have it, or sometimes he might get upset when I don't take him to the park while we are out running errands. He is a kid. He is human. He is still learning right from wrong at 4 years old.

If you are telling me that your child has never made a mistake, I am not buying it.

I also have a 4 yr old and I am not saying that she never makes a mistake I am saying that I am quick to correct that mistake and teach what is the correct behaviour and what is not.  But since I have been taking her to places such as church, concerts, recitals and the movies since she was a baby she know that if she needs to say something in places like that that she needs to lean close to me and whisper because I taught her that.

 

 I said my child makes mistakes but I am quick to correct her that is what I am talking about.  I am not talking about parents like yourself who correct the child I am talking about the ones that give in to the tantrum, allow their child to run and jump over the pews or throw things. And I am not sure why you say my child is scared of my since she is very rarely punished she has nothing to fear.  I never scream or yell at my child as I dont want her to do that to me.  I calmly get down to her leven explain the rule that she is breaking and the consequences which will most assuradly occur if she doesnt correct the behviour.

parentalrights1
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:34 PM

My kid is well behavedbut will on occasion have a moment that he acts out, but you wouldn't know as an outsider that it's not his everyday behavior. He's always been naturally well behaved without needing the direction and now that he's about 2 1/2 he's starting to have moments as mild as they are, but I think it's the older kids that are more to be judged. If a ten year old is dropping to the floor screaming for popcorn chicken, then the parent is doing something right (or there's some grandparent over spoiling). Not for a younger child.

mi4339mi
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:35 PM

What is with this "respect your child"? Can you please explain that to me

How is it disrespectful to expect them to behave? 

Quoting Glowing4Caleb:

My child knows that, too. (To be quiet in church.) We have sat in the very first row since he was a baby and he never liked the nursery, so he has always sat with us. However, sometimes he gets excited or will get antsy and move around too much. Yes, we tell him to stop. Most of the time he corrects his behavior. If he doesn't, he gets a time out when he gets home. 9 times out of 10 he is just fine. All I am saying is that every child has their moment.


Perhaps, as you say, you show your child no respect and they are terrified of you. I would rather my child be a child and act up once in a while than be terrified of me. Again, he gets corrected if he does something wrong, but I respect him and in turn, he shows me respect. I dont have to scare my child silly to behave...and it sounds like you must if your child has never done anything wrong.

Quoting andersongirl562:

 

Quoting Glowing4Caleb:

Im sorry, but EVERY Single child has their moment. I have a very well behaved little boy, but you know what....sometimes he is too loud in church, sometimes he might ask for something not on our grocery list and be upset that he can't have it, or sometimes he might get upset when I don't take him to the park while we are out running errands. He is a kid. He is human. He is still learning right from wrong at 4 years old.

If you are telling me that your child has never made a mistake, I am not buying it.

I also have a 4 yr old and I am not saying that she never makes a mistake I am saying that I am quick to correct that mistake and teach what is the correct behaviour and what is not.  But since I have been taking her to places such as church, concerts, recitals and the movies since she was a baby she know that if she needs to say something in places like that that she needs to lean close to me and whisper because I taught her that.




momswag
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:35 PM

I'm sorry but don't you see that as a bit lazy and setting your child up for failure in the future? I'm genuinely curious if you just parent in the moment or if your parenting methods keep the future in mind? 

Quoting lilbit53009:

*shrug* sorry it doesn't really matter to me if you agree or not.

i do what works for me

Quoting momswag:

Of course you're going to parent as you chose but in general I cannot agree with that statement. You're teaching your child to whine/cry to get what he wants. So in order for him to behave he has to be given something. That isn't how the world works. 

Your child isn't learning that he needs to behave in public because it's the right thing to do, he's learning that his behavior controls what mommy does. Your son has control. 

Quoting lilbit53009:

lol of course i've tried all that. he still screams and cries. different things work for different kids. i'd rather just buy a $1 toy than have him scream and cry the entire time in the store. and i'm not a SAHM mom, so my trips to the store have to be done in whatever time i can fit them in. i can't just leave and come back later if we need groceries for the house.

just because i buy him a $1 toy from target...hardly means i'm setting him up to not be the best he can be. 

Quoting andersongirl562:

 

Quoting lilbit53009:

ehh i pick my battles. if that $1 car is going to keep my 3 year old quiet and happy during a trip to target...hell yea i'm going to buy it for him! lol

 But why take the easy way out?  Dont we as parents owe it to our children to raise them to be the very best that they can be?  If we teach them that alls they have to do is throw a fit and they get what they want what will happen when they are adults and try this?  If you consistently told him that if he is not quiet he will be in trouble and then followed throught with the whatever punishment you use then eventually he would learn to be quiet when told.





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