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How do I make him happy?

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:23 AM
  • 21 Replies
my son will be 3 in July, he had a slight speech delay but can use words for the most part now. Anyway, he has been doing this thing lately where he asks for something, like a specific dvd, and I put it on for him. In this case its an Imagination Movers dvd with an extra episode of Special Agent Oso. So I put it in and he's screaming "Oso, Oso, OSO!" So I put it on for him, then he starts screaming "Movers! Movers!!" So I put that on for him instead and he goes right back to screaming "Oso! Oso!!" So I change it back to Oso, then its "Movers! MOVERS!! Wahahahahahahaaaaaa!" So I put it back on Movers and tell him thats it, im done. He is still crying, but now he wants strawberry milk (which I never give him, SO gave him some the other day and he turned into a huge brat so no more of that) so he's screaming over that, then says "chocolate milk!" I again say no... More screaming and crying. Then he saying "blueberry, blueberry!!" So I try to give him some blueberries, he says no. Then he tried to open the fridge saying "strawberry, strawberry!!" So I help him open the door and he goes straight for the jelly, opens the top and sticks his finger in. So I again tell him no, close the jelly, shut the fridge all while he is screaming and crying for this and that. After all of that, he goes back to "Oso! Oso!!!" Uuuuugh!! NO! Just NO! How do I get him to stop without spanking him? I dont want to spank but he just will not listen and keeps screaming at me instead of calmly using his words. Then he constantly asks for things he cant have, so he pretty much never stops crying unless he is getting his way or gets temporarily sidetracked (like with the song on Movers right now)... Its just so frustrating and tiring... And DS gets me so mad that I end up snapping on DD for just asking a simple question. I always apologise to DD, she understands, but im also tired of her having to deal with and give in to her brother just to keep him from screaming at everyone, including herself. She is 4 btw.
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Fairegirl33
by Melissa on May. 1, 2012 at 9:26 AM
1 mom liked this

If you want him to have reg milk, or whatever... put it in a cup and leave it on the counter, self on the fridge or where ever... tell him that is his milk.  Leave it there... Same thing with the TV, put on the show and tell him that we are watching _____ until it is over.. 

The more you react to the behavior, fussing, and fighting, the more he will also react.   It is hard but he will get it.

tairakittie
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2012 at 9:34 AM
When he's mad, if I put his cup anywhere within his reach, he knocks it over or grabs it and throws it either across the room or at me. :/ I have to react to that, which is usually me saying "No, we dont throw our cups!" All while he is screaming at me for something else to drink. I do try to ignore him and most of the time, if I give it a couple minutes, he will grab his cup and drink whatever is in it, unless its water... He refuses to drink water, so I fill his cup with water during nap and bedtimes, just so its the only thing he has access to if he gets thristy. Ive tried ignoring, ive tried being stern, heck, ive even tried spanking... Nothing seems to be working. :/

Quoting Fairegirl33:

If you want him to have reg milk, or whatever... put it in a cup and leave it on the counter, self on the fridge or where ever... tell him that is his milk.  Leave it there... Same thing with the TV, put on the show and tell him that we are watching _____ until it is over.. 

The more you react to the behavior, fussing, and fighting, the more he will also react.   It is hard but he will get it.

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michiganmom5150
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this
My ds(almost 4) did the same thing. My older one didn't want to be around him! After going to a psychiatrist, they diagnosed him with a mood disorder. Trouble controlling his emotions. After a horrible March, he was put on a low dose of meds and it has changed our lives! He's happy and no more screaming! Btw, he's also OCD, so that played into a lot of his screaming and problems not getting his way. Maybe talk to your doctor. ours said he'd out grow it until he has a meltdown at their office and she said that was not normal. She recommended our psychiatrist, who is the only one who will treat kids that young. We waited over a year for the meds
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hddcooper
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 9:37 AM
Sometimes you just gotta smack that bottom. I hate it but I'll do it when I know it's the only thing that will work. I don't do it often. Kids will only push us as far as we allow them to.
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luvhubandbabys
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2012 at 9:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe he needs a chill out moment. If my dd gets irate. I send her to her room. She throws a fit but eventually forgets and will play with her toys. When she calms down I go in there and talk to her. Most of the time she's ina better mood. Sometimes they need their space.
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Fairegirl33
by Melissa on May. 1, 2012 at 9:39 AM

If he throws it, I would take it and put it up... and make sure to tell him calmly that he can't throw it and if he wants it he needs to ask nicely.  I would also busy myself with something else to "get out of the situation"... fold laundry, read... something so he knows that he isn't getting to you.

It is very very hard... ughh I know but just keep doing it... be calm, talk with a soft voice..... he will get it.


Quoting tairakittie:

When he's mad, if I put his cup anywhere within his reach, he knocks it over or grabs it and throws it either across the room or at me. :/ I have to react to that, which is usually me saying "No, we dont throw our cups!" All while he is screaming at me for something else to drink. I do try to ignore him and most of the time, if I give it a couple minutes, he will grab his cup and drink whatever is in it, unless its water... He refuses to drink water, so I fill his cup with water during nap and bedtimes, just so its the only thing he has access to if he gets thristy. Ive tried ignoring, ive tried being stern, heck, ive even tried spanking... Nothing seems to be working. :/

Quoting Fairegirl33:

If you want him to have reg milk, or whatever... put it in a cup and leave it on the counter, self on the fridge or where ever... tell him that is his milk.  Leave it there... Same thing with the TV, put on the show and tell him that we are watching _____ until it is over.. 

The more you react to the behavior, fussing, and fighting, the more he will also react.   It is hard but he will get it.


RobinBright
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Clear rules, and consistent discipline. At that age, my kids got a choice of two things: milk or water? Blue cup or red cup? Play dough or blocks? If they threw a fit over it, they were given a clear message "when you calm down and stop screaming, then mommy will help you" (eye level, calm firm voice) and then i ignored Neil they were done.

Throwing a cup, like you mentioned, or anything similar would result in an immediate time out. We stared around 18 months, so by 3 it was simple routine.
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tairakittie
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2012 at 9:44 AM
He has emotional and behavior issues, he was diagnosed ASD, but I dont believe he is autistic. I do believe that he cannot control his emotions and his behavior is influenced by that. He can be a great, loving kid when he gets his way, but when things arent going his way, NO ONE is happy. :( I dont want to do meds, he was in speech therapy but graduated, he is still in occupational therapy and doing great there. We called a behavior specialist to come to our home and she flat out said she couldnt help me because at the time, and still, he doesnt understand time outs, nor will he stand or sit in one spot more than a couple seconds, if that. His "time out" is letting him scream, cry and flail on his bedroom floor until he calms down, then I try to explain to him what he did wrong and why he cant do that, ect. He is very stubborn, hardheaded, one track minded and emotional.

Quoting michiganmom5150:

My ds(almost 4) did the same thing. My older one didn't want to be around him! After going to a psychiatrist, they diagnosed him with a mood disorder. Trouble controlling his emotions. After a horrible March, he was put on a low dose of meds and it has changed our lives! He's happy and no more screaming! Btw, he's also OCD, so that played into a lot of his screaming and problems not getting his way. Maybe talk to your doctor. ours said he'd out grow it until he has a meltdown at their office and she said that was not normal. She recommended our psychiatrist, who is the only one who will treat kids that young. We waited over a year for the meds
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JaimieLynn8
by on May. 1, 2012 at 9:44 AM
2 moms liked this
You should stop giving in, and only let him have the first thing he asks for. He needs to learn that he's making choices.
My 3-year old has/had a similar problem. When he acted like that, I gave him the first thing he asked for and that was it. When he got upset, I'd explain to him that he picked "this" so that's what he got. And that was it. Took a little while, and I don't think he always understood when I explained it to him, but it really helped.
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yezay
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2012 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

 Give him less options and make him stick with his first choice.  For my son I give him choices say Micky or Caillou and he says one then the other I say well you picked Caillou first so we're going to watch that.  I tell him to really think about what he wants lol.  He's 5 and a little delayed.

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