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I have been feelig so depressed lately. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I have been sitting here, staring at a bottle of sleeping pills and wondering how many I need to not wake up.


For anyone who has been wondering how I am, I am doing better. I checked into a hospital last Wednesday. I've spent the past several days in the psychiatic unit of the hospital. The good news is, I finally have an actual diagnosis and I'm now on medication to help.


by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:29 PM
Replies (51-60):
reche1978
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 11:29 PM


Quoting SerpentsKiss:

Having people to talk to here helps. What I really need though right now is Keith to be here. I can't even talk to him right now.

Quoting reche1978:

 

Quoting SerpentsKiss:

I have no one to even begin to talk to about this. Going to a hospital is just going to get me sent back home.


I am so sorry for everything your going through but everyone here is reaching out to you and we care about you otherwise no one would respond to your post.  PM me im up i'm willing to chat



is he working? can you call him? go see him?

SerpentsKiss
by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:31 PM

He's in jail. I can only call him if it's an emergency. And I pretty much used that already. I can see him on weekends if I can get there to see him.

Quoting reche1978:


Quoting SerpentsKiss:

Having people to talk to here helps. What I really need though right now is Keith to be here. I can't even talk to him right now.

Quoting reche1978:


Quoting SerpentsKiss:

I have no one to even begin to talk to about this. Going to a hospital is just going to get me sent back home.


I am so sorry for everything your going through but everyone here is reaching out to you and we care about you otherwise no one would respond to your post.  PM me im up i'm willing to chat



is he working? can you call him? go see him?


AF2011
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2012 at 11:32 PM
Oh momma please don't take those pills. You will get past whatever is making you feel this way. Trust me I felt like this too. I would even go to the store and buy a bottle of pills. But then I talked myself out of it
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
reche1978
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 11:37 PM


Quoting SerpentsKiss:

He's in jail. I can only call him if it's an emergency. And I pretty much used that already. I can see him on weekends if I can get there to see him.

Quoting reche1978:

 

Quoting SerpentsKiss:

Having people to talk to here helps. What I really need though right now is Keith to be here. I can't even talk to him right now.

Quoting reche1978:

 

Quoting SerpentsKiss:

I have no one to even begin to talk to about this. Going to a hospital is just going to get me sent back home.


I am so sorry for everything your going through but everyone here is reaching out to you and we care about you otherwise no one would respond to your post.  PM me im up i'm willing to chat



is he working? can you call him? go see him?


i cant imagine how much harder thats making your situation but do you have a friend/family member/neighbor you can call?  I understand misscarriages are difficult and right now it does seem hopeless but you need to time to grieve, it will get better

SerpentsKiss
by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:38 PM

Don't really have anyone to call. Everyone is too caught up in their own lives to care.

reche1978
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 11:41 PM

focus on something that makes you happy, a memory or anything that puts a smile on your face. Hold on to that feeling.....

I've had moments were i have felt helpless and i also had a miscarriage but when i focused and tried to see the positive (there is always something positive even if its from the past) that helped me

SerpentsKiss
by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:44 PM

I'm havig a hard to focusing on anything. I am in serious pain and nothing is helping it.

jesistar6910
by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:59 PM

I am sorry that things seem so hard right now. Things always get better, they do. Even if you don't believe so today, or even tomorrow, things get better.

I get it. I do. It's rough. But it isn't worth your life.

I know you wanted your children, I can tell by the pain in your post and replies. I wanted my children too.

But the pain, as blinding as it is both physically and emotionally, truly is temporary. If you don't know anyone in person who will talk to you,email me (jesi star at hotmail dot com). I will gladly talk to you about anything you want. Even if  you just want to scream at me and call me names and curse the ground I walk on and then cry and yell and scream again.

I can take it, I will share your pain, I have had your pain. And I spent so long looking at the same pill bottle wanting to do the same thing, to join my angels - but knowing that if I did I might not have a chance at creating life again. If I had done it, if I had taken my life I would never had the opportunity to meet my daughter. I am so glad that I didn't.

I know that you want to feel better, right fucking now. But, it won't stop hurting immediately, you will hurt for a while, I know.  But you can get through it, just lean on those of us who are sitting here hoping that we will get to talk to you tomorrow. I am sorry that you weren't given any help from the hotline.

I know you don't want to hear it, but those who "are too caught up in their own lives to care," I can promise you, they care. And if you do this, people will hear "I just wish she would have called me" or "I wish I heard from her." I know this, because this Friday I will be saying the same thing to some of my friends and family as we celebrate the life of my cousin Mandy. She killed herself on Wednesday last. Those of us who have things going on can and will take time out for you. Please, don't be afraid to rely on someone. Anyone. Even an annonymous stranger like me. 

SerpentsKiss
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:05 AM

In my offline life, I found that I rank somewhere below someone's dead dog.

jesistar6910
by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:08 AM

Well, I am sorry that you feel that way about yourself. Please feel free to email me. I do need to go to bed now as I have work, but I did try. I hope you are able to find the strength inside of you to pull things together, and grieve. I am so sorry for your loss. 

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