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So just a curiousity question..more and more people i know that are dating constantly call each other husband and wife, when they are not.  My bf and I have been together for 2 years, live together and I'm pregnant with his first child however he is not my husband! not yet anyway lol I guess it's mostly on FB I see this.  My cousins bf just said something this morning on FB about his "wife", and they are in no way married.  They aren't the only ones I've noticed doing this sooo is this the new normal thing or do I just know some weird people?? lol

by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:58 PM
Replies (341-350):
MandiK
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:35 AM

I've seen people doing that with their friends. Like one girl will call one of her female friends her "wife" and they both have boyfriends. So it really confuses me...

tamalyn
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:38 AM

looking for a baby sitter starting off part time then to full time if any one knows any one please let me no i really need some one soon    :(   thank you tonya

Knightquester
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:39 AM

I'm not on Facebook anymore, but prior to leaving I did notice some odd nicknaming from dating couples.

I have two theories on why people would call a person they're not married to husband/wife.  1.) they are using it in a joking manner, like ball and chain is used.  2.) it's now a word of endearment like they love that person so much and are so serious about them that they're as equal to husband/wife to them in their mind.

I would ask if I knew people doing that what it means to them.  To me it would just be confusing, but it's in no way annoying or insulting to me, so doesn't bother me.

nickygsmommy
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:58 AM


Quoting one_on_the_way:


Quoting nickygsmommy:

I was married and had two beautiful sons during my marriage. After my second son was born, my husband lost his job and fell into drugs. That was our breaking point after quite a few of his transgressions. I've lived with my new boyfriend (own a house and cars with him) for a few years, and my sons call him "Daddy." We have discussed marriage and have a ring savings account, but I refer to him as my boyfriend when talking to people I know. With that said, there are situations where I will refer to him as my husband. For example, in casual conversation with strangers- especially when it comes to business. I am a younger blonde woman (rare in my profession/position) and already have a hard enough time being taken seriously. Saying boyfriend sounds juvenile, and when I have two kids in tow, quite frankly, makes me look like a blonde bimbo slut. Excuse my language please. I'd rather just call him my husband than have to explain that I'm divorced and leave that open for scrutiny. Just to counter any arguments about not caring what people think - my business is based on professionalism and it is very important to my job to avoid negative judgement by others. I don't feel like I should have to tell my life story to strangers so they won't judge me. We will get married when we feel its a good time for us financially. After all, he is already every part of the husband/father role other than the paper part. For those people who said you're not a step-parent until you marry the child's parent, tell that to my 5 year old son. You'll have one confused and angry little boy in your hands. In his eyes, a piece of paper means nothing.

Why not "partner" vs "husband"?

My professor refers to her ACTUAL husband as her "partner". 

And, if you are seriously concerned about telling your life story to strangers so they won't judge you....then why the hell don't you just get married already?!?  Rather than lie?

WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?



 

Wow - I thought I had already covered that. I have to care about a person's impression of me because it is vital to my job. I'm not going to get married because of my job, though. I do not feel that I have done anything inappropriate in the way I live my life. I was married before I had kids, I feel my divorce was morally justified as my husband had turned into a philandering drug addict, and I feel more married to my current boyfriend than I ever did with my first husband.  I have earned the "title" of wife in the past, and I agree with those women who have never been married that it's just a piece of paper. Not everyone feels that way, though.  To appease those close-minded people who don't understand or agree, I choose to make things easier. As I stated before - it's not like I'm calling him "hubby" and we're not trying to pass ourselves off as married. I haven't changed my last name of facebook.  It's just an easier explanation of our relationship level.

As far as "Why don't we don't we get married already?" I already explained that. We're being responsible adults. We have already decided that we want to get married, but we want to be financially smart about actually doing so. We have a special savings account that we have been adding money to as our budget allows. We want to be able to buy a ring and have a reasonably nice wedding without losing our house.

ravennesse
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:17 PM
A marriage is a commitment, plain & simple. It's a work in progress. A marriage license only allows a legal binding contract between two people, which insinuates that someone ”controls” who may marry. In the past, licenses have been used to prevent interracial marriages, which were punishable by law. My opinion? You don't have to have a license to have a marriage, but it does show a higher level of commitment that should be respected.

http://macquirelatory.com/Marriage%20License%20Truth.htm
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
BrittBurke
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:25 PM

I've been with SO for over 3 years now and he calls me his wife and I always correct him. I don't like it because I don't want it to take aware from when I actaully can legitly be called that. Same reason why I don't call him hubby or whatever.

vampire2007
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:41 PM

 ive seen this too. im rece3ntly married and mine still says in a relationship cuz i havnt changed it yet lol

Maevelyn
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:50 PM

I don't think it makes sense bc if you want to be married you can be (with the exception of gay and lesbian couples, who should be allowed to marry IMO but aren't, then they really don't have an option but to commit to each other w/o the paper work.) 

Maevelyn
by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:00 PM

I think if you sincerely plan to get married and you are on that level of commitment then you functionally are married. I took the OP to be referring to couples who are calling each other "husband" and "wife" after 3 months of dating. I've noticed a trend, particularly in my younger friends to mock commit, they're aren't engaged or anything just love struck and they act like that means they are married and they repeat this pattern continually. I'm not offended by them but it is concerning bc I think it diminishes the commitment that marriage (or true domestic partnership) entails but it's going to affect them more than me. I can't imagine being offended by a couple that has lived together, is raising kids or pets, has their financial future tied up into a home and car payment but hasn't filled out the proper paper work. 

Quoting nickygsmommy:


Quoting one_on_the_way:


Quoting nickygsmommy:

I was married and had two beautiful sons during my marriage. After my second son was born, my husband lost his job and fell into drugs. That was our breaking point after quite a few of his transgressions. I've lived with my new boyfriend (own a house and cars with him) for a few years, and my sons call him "Daddy." We have discussed marriage and have a ring savings account, but I refer to him as my boyfriend when talking to people I know. With that said, there are situations where I will refer to him as my husband. For example, in casual conversation with strangers- especially when it comes to business. I am a younger blonde woman (rare in my profession/position) and already have a hard enough time being taken seriously. Saying boyfriend sounds juvenile, and when I have two kids in tow, quite frankly, makes me look like a blonde bimbo slut. Excuse my language please. I'd rather just call him my husband than have to explain that I'm divorced and leave that open for scrutiny. Just to counter any arguments about not caring what people think - my business is based on professionalism and it is very important to my job to avoid negative judgement by others. I don't feel like I should have to tell my life story to strangers so they won't judge me. We will get married when we feel its a good time for us financially. After all, he is already every part of the husband/father role other than the paper part. For those people who said you're not a step-parent until you marry the child's parent, tell that to my 5 year old son. You'll have one confused and angry little boy in your hands. In his eyes, a piece of paper means nothing.

Why not "partner" vs "husband"?

My professor refers to her ACTUAL husband as her "partner". 

And, if you are seriously concerned about telling your life story to strangers so they won't judge you....then why the hell don't you just get married already?!?  Rather than lie?

WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?



 

Wow - I thought I had already covered that. I have to care about a person's impression of me because it is vital to my job. I'm not going to get married because of my job, though. I do not feel that I have done anything inappropriate in the way I live my life. I was married before I had kids, I feel my divorce was morally justified as my husband had turned into a philandering drug addict, and I feel more married to my current boyfriend than I ever did with my first husband.  I have earned the "title" of wife in the past, and I agree with those women who have never been married that it's just a piece of paper. Not everyone feels that way, though.  To appease those close-minded people who don't understand or agree, I choose to make things easier. As I stated before - it's not like I'm calling him "hubby" and we're not trying to pass ourselves off as married. I haven't changed my last name of facebook.  It's just an easier explanation of our relationship level.

As far as "Why don't we don't we get married already?" I already explained that. We're being responsible adults. We have already decided that we want to get married, but we want to be financially smart about actually doing so. We have a special savings account that we have been adding money to as our budget allows. We want to be able to buy a ring and have a reasonably nice wedding without losing our house.


kaylasmom22
by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:42 PM


Quoting kaylasmom22:

Omg this shit is still going on? I have a question for all your better than us pretending people. I was raised by a lady I called mom but she never adopted me legally, however I will always see her as my mom and her daughters call me their sister. So according to you all she was playing mom cause legally she never signed a piece of paper that says I'm her daughter right?


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