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So just a curiousity question..more and more people i know that are dating constantly call each other husband and wife, when they are not.  My bf and I have been together for 2 years, live together and I'm pregnant with his first child however he is not my husband! not yet anyway lol I guess it's mostly on FB I see this.  My cousins bf just said something this morning on FB about his "wife", and they are in no way married.  They aren't the only ones I've noticed doing this sooo is this the new normal thing or do I just know some weird people?? lol

by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:58 PM
Replies (41-50):
louzannalady
by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:27 AM
1 mom liked this
Anyone who is not legally married- either by common law or through certificate and ceremony. With marriage you make a legal commitment and have obligations. Without it, the couple can just break up and walk away without any recourse or obligation. Vast difference.


Quoting kit_manson:

What makes it playing house? The "playing" part would imply they're not serious...


Quoting louzannalady:

It is a more recent thing. I think it's absurd. I honestly get annoyed at people when I hear them say that and I know they are not married. Playing house is NOT the same as being married.



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sllytnkrbl
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2012 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this

 The people I know that do that are in committed relationships, engaged or living together and I have asked one couple why they do that and the answer made sense to me:  Marriage is just a piece of paper that in this day and age seems meaningless, so many divorces, separations and loveless marriages around that the words husband and wife don't really have the same meaning they once had.  This particular couple feels that their commitment is just as much a marriage as if they actually said the vows and can't be anymore together then they already are so they call themselves husband and wife because they feel like husband and wife - both of them have divorced parents and would rather save their money to buy a home then spend it on a lavish wedding so have decided to skip the marriage all together besides in a couple of years they will be common law wed anyway.   I just assume that other couples I know that use the terms feel a similar way.

SimplyErathy
by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:30 AM

we call each other husband and wife. but we have been together over 5yrs, have two kids together, have a house and two cars and a joint bank acct. we also file taxes together..we are as close to married as it gets without actually being married lol

xomrsweaver
by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:33 AM

lol ive seen it plenty and it has always irked me a bit. especially when they are constantly changing it, its like my god, if your that unstable...just stick with 'its complicated' and leave it at that. 

hddcooper
by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:34 AM
I have over heard my SO referring to me as his wife. I correct him lol. 10 year bad marriage broke me of wanting to be a wife for a while. I feel too old to say boyfriend so I refer to him as my honeyman lol
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redbutterfly666
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2012 at 12:36 AM

my df calls me his wife just to be cute when im mad lol

sarahlaine1123
by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:41 AM

Yeah like 15 year olds saying they are engaged...

Saille717
by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:44 AM
Wow. A lot if people are really uptight about how somebody wants to define a relationship.

I was married. Then after that fell apart in my next relationship we lived together for years and years. We own a house, had car payments together, did our wills, but we'd both been in srsly sh**y marriages and weren't feeling any need for that one little piece of paper. Which, outside of religion, is nothing more than a financial contract when you break it down. If people referred to us as husband and wife it was easier to let it go. Those words more accurately explained to others our relationship status than boyfriend and girlfriend.

We are married now, for various reasons like benefits, and other than that one piece if paper, nothing is different.

I don't understand why do many of you care enough to be annoyed. If you feel that others use of the words in a more casual manner somehow takes away from the seriousness you've given it in your own life...then that's your insecurities speaking. Or is it some kind of envy that somebody has all the benefits of marriage without 'paying their dues' and now they get the titles too and it's just not fair? So First World Problems.
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Seagodess
by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Why does there have to be recourse or obligation if you no longer want to be with someone? I understand if children are involved and child support, but thats a whole other issue. If people dont want the law/courts interfering in their relationship, that doesn't make it any less meaningful. To me a husband and wife are 2 people who have committed to love each other.

I am legally married, but that doesn't mean we feel anymore obligation to each other than we did before we were married. We agreed before we got married that if it didn't work out, we would do the best we could to be civil about it. If we split up, I dont expect anything from him and vise versa. We would sell the house and split the stuff. Most of it would be pretty easy, the other stuff isn't worth fighting about so why bother. Yes we have talked about it in a "what if" situation.

Quoting louzannalady:

Anyone who is not legally married- either by common law or through certificate and ceremony. With marriage you make a legal commitment and have obligations. Without it, the couple can just break up and walk away without any recourse or obligation. Vast difference.


Quoting kit_manson:

What makes it playing house? The "playing" part would imply they're not serious...


Quoting louzannalady:

It is a more recent thing. I think it's absurd. I honestly get annoyed at people when I hear them say that and I know they are not married. Playing house is NOT the same as being married.

 



bowribbonmama
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2012 at 12:47 AM
1 mom liked this

 My mom and step-dad aren't married but still call each other husband and wife. They have been together for almost 20 years, so they might as well be husband and wife.

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